Almond_Joy Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Hi everyone, Just wanted to get some more perspectives on this: I've read often in relationship articles that time and space is recommended when having an emotionally intense discussion with a loved one so that unneccessary/hurtful/irrelevant things aren't said in the heat of the moment. One method of creating this distance that's been recommended is writing a letter. I'm wondering how many people actually do that. Like if you had something important to discuss you write it out in a letter and then give the person the letter. I was prompted to ask because I often read/hear about people getting flack for having important conversations via text. The opponents of this say it's detached and disrespectful in a way, because the discussion's not being done face to face or it's not "actual" talking, like on the phone or in person. I, on the other hand, have taken to the habit of writing what I need to say in letters and giving the letters to the person I want to talk to. Among other reasons, I do it because I have always communicated better when I have had time to think about what I want to say, and don't have someone standing in front of me or waiting on the phone for me to get out what I'm going to say. So what do you all think, or what's your preference? Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 At times I feel that I am better at writing things out. But I do not allow myself to attack my partner as I can see that following that negative action will bring nothing good to the moment. I take a moment to internalize everything and then respond calmly and honestly. It's not always easy to do in a relationship, especially when you are being attacked. But you never feel good for attacking your partner. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I, on the other hand, have taken to the habit of writing what I need to say in letters and giving the letters to the person I want to talk to. I sometimes do this with my H. He can be very reactive so it's sometimes very challenging for me to finish my sentence or my point without having him blow up in some dramatic manner. Putting it in writing allows me to actually complete my train of thought. I see nothing disrespectful about me doing that. Link to post Share on other sites
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