quankanne Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 I don't think he ever understood the magnitude of the problem possibly not, but then again, our parents are the only people on the planet who refuse to think the worst of us when they love us as much as they do. They also are the ones who look past our sins and foibles to see the potential who we are meant to be, not the flawed selves that we are Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 So sorry for you loss. I lost my father almost 10 years ago....I will always be daddy's little girl. Prayers for much strength and peace. Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Oh my RP!!!! I am so sorry for your loss! My heart goes out to you! We are here for you! God help you! Love to you, Link to post Share on other sites
shayla Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my father 9 months ago and I miss him terribly. My prayers are with you. Link to post Share on other sites
setsenia Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Thank you, Setsenia and Tony for your kind words. Yes, memories are all I have now. And his love. You know, often when a parent dies suddenly, their child dies soon thereafter. I am not religious but it's as though God doesn't want the parent to live to see their child's death. I know a woman whose mother died very suddenly. A year later, on the same date, her brother died of a heart attack. Maybe god took him so that he doesn't seemy death - in which case I'd be glad that he died. I was thinking today I am glad that his parents are dead and didn't witness him dying so young . Yeah, I think it's horrible when parents have to outlive their children. I know my husband's grandparents (his deceased father's parents) sometimes still have a hard time talking about their son. My husband was only 16 when his father passed and his mom was never there for him until he had to move in with her after his father passed. Even though his mom was recently diagnosed with cancer, I'm sure he'd much rather have his father alive, because his mom makes no effort to be a part of his life. You are not alone! Link to post Share on other sites
Lexygirl Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Sorry for your loss, RP. God bless. * hugs * Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 22, 2012 Author Share Posted February 22, 2012 (edited) Thank you, all. Shayla and Bentnotbroken, I am sorry about your dads, too. I talked to my uncle on the phone today. He said he couldn't call earlier because he didn't have my numbers. My aunt (uncle's wife) found my dad in the front yard, sitting on the bench. She said he was purple and shaking and told her he felt awful and asked her to sit with him. The poor thing was dying and didn't even know. She told her son to call the ER and said they came immediately, gave him meds (in my former country doctors arrive in ambulance cars too, so they can administer meds). They put him on IV or something and half way on the way to the hospital, the staff started shouting "Release electricity!" I guess they were losing him and did reanimation or something. At the hospital, they connected him to machines but he lost his pulse. I still think American doctors would have saved his life, but I can't live with that thought that he could've lived. My uncle said he was depressed for the past few months, took anti-depressants and worried too much about everything. I told my uncle I couldn't come to the funeral and wanted to remember him alive, and I asked him to read a letter that I will email him. He said "Well, I don't know, it's not the custom, it may be stupid, I'll assess the situation, but send it." :mad: Later I spoke to my aunt and asked her to read the letter for me and she said "no problem, I will." Well, I don't know if she will, but I will email it to her. I can't believe I still haven't heard from my ex's father and step-mother. I religiously call them every year to wish them a happy birthday. They never call me for my birthday and I don't careabout that, but this is different. The thing is, knowing my ex, he forgot to tell them my dad died. Urgh... I am so glad he is an ex. What an insensitive bastard. Edited February 22, 2012 by RecordProducer Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 22, 2012 Author Share Posted February 22, 2012 That's tough, RP. I'm sorry about your dad. It's good you're remembering the good things.With my dad there were only, good, wonderful and amazing things. Not one single bad or even so-so memory. :love: Love you, my Daddy. By the way, I was wrong, my mom didn't upset him in any way. She was very upset about his death herself and cried because they were friends and she feels sorry for my pain, as well. Besides, if he worried, he would've told me something. In his last email he just told me he was happy about me finishing law school and doing well at work, and that the love problems shall pass too. So, he knew I was more or less fine. Link to post Share on other sites
The Straightener Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 So sorry to hear about your loss. My condolences to you and your family. Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Please accept my heartfelt condolences, RP. It's very difficult to lose a parent- I lost my mom just a few years ago. It does affect your outlook. Take as much time to grieve as you need to.Your emotions are going to be all over the place---and it's completely normal, all of it. I lost another mother figure this year--the mother of an exbf who I stayed in touch with for the last 25 years- I found out when I was in town, & thought I'd drop by for a visit. She had passed two months earlier.No one thought to contact me.It was crushing. So, I can understand your feelings about not being informed promptly.I can only imagine it's even more painful in your case.I'm very sorry to hear about that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 22, 2012 Author Share Posted February 22, 2012 Thank, Freestyle. I am so sorry about your loss, too. Thanks, Streightener. Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I'm so sorry. Stay strong, sweetie. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Oh, how heart wrenching. I'm so sorry, RP. I lost my father when I was 14, so I understand a bit of the pain. For sure email the letter. It's a beautiful gesture. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 My sympathies, RP. Must be a tough blow to get sudden news like that. My dad was terminal for a while so I was somewhat prepared. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 23, 2012 Author Share Posted February 23, 2012 Thanks, Cerridwen and FF. So sorry about your dads, too. Well, I emailed the letter to my uncle and aunt, but also to my dad's best friend's wife and asked her kindly to make sure it's read at the funeral. This is the letter, translated: My dear Daddy, you left me too soon and I still need you. You were the best father in the world. You were there for me through all my pains and joys. The pains were smaller and the joys were bigger because I shared them with you. You understood me like nobody else. You knew what to tell me and advise me in difficult times. You knew how to comfort me. You suffered with me and were happy with me. You knew how to make me laugh. To lose a father is like cutting half of yourself. But I know you don't want me to suffer. I know you want me to keep walking and be happy. So, I want to tell you that you will always live in my heart and you will walk with me through all my life happenings. Today I am a strong woman because of your unmeasurable love and support. You were tough and resistent toward the world - and yet such a gentle and caring father to me. So many beautiful memories live inside me and warm up my soul. I so wish I could hug you one more time. I love and you and miss you so very much. Your daughter RP. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 It's beautiful and it made me cry. If he listens to it from above he is going to be so happy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 23, 2012 Author Share Posted February 23, 2012 It's beautiful and it made me cry. If he listens to it from above he is going to be so happy.Aww, you cried. Thanks for reading it, Ariadne. Thank you, Sricky. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I'm really sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 23, 2012 Author Share Posted February 23, 2012 I'm really sorry. Thank you, Ross. Link to post Share on other sites
binny Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I'm so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 23, 2012 Author Share Posted February 23, 2012 Thanks, Binny. I still can't believe it. I am at work and when I remember it's like somebody else's life. It's just unbelievable to me that if I dial his number, he won't answer. That I can never again tell him or ask him anything. Talking to him was all I had with him. My mom and dad are my most and only valuable creatures and now one of them is gone. My sons used to be my angels but they abandoned me. They live with the ex who is an as*hole, they insult me, curse at me, call me names, you can't imagine. They do it to both me and my mom. I am so sick of them. F*ck children! First you work your ass off to care for them, then they become teenagers and torture you - all while milking your wallet. Then they leave and come back with grandkids for you to watch. Oh, and let's not forget the daughters in law who are going to hate everything I do and say. People who don't have kids are smart. Especially now with my dad's death, my sensitiveness-meter is constantly on RED. Today I barely stopped myself from slapping some college girls who were giggling the whole time on the train. I just want my dad to hold me gently like he used to. My mom and the dog are a great comfort. Both are very sweet. And it just crossed my mind that my ex step-father, who severely molested me for years when I was a child, is still alive and he is 72, while my wonderful daddy is gone. :mad: Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 24, 2012 Author Share Posted February 24, 2012 I am having a really difficult time tonight. I don't want my daddy to be gone. I want to talk to him, I want to hear his voice, his jokes, his gossip... he was so funny and witty and smart. I so want my dad back. Yesterday I wrote an email to my ex-husband'sfather and his wife about the sad news. I told them how much I was hurting and how close we were (in one short paragraph) and at the end I said "Just thought you'd want to know. Obviously [ex-H] didn't think it was significant enough to tell you." So, today I received an email from him expressing sympathy- he didn't even have the decency to pick up the god damn phone and call me. I called them for their f*cking birthdays, and they can't call when my father died??? And the monster of my ex-husband didn't call to ask how I was doing - hey, he probably didn't even tell his family. Nobody from his family called me or expressed sympathy in any way. I can't imagine HIS father passing away and my mom not picking up the phone to say she's sorry. I am soooooooooo gladI am divorced from him. Maybe this seems self-centered right now, but at times like this words of comfort are all you have. I don't want pity or any privileges or a special treatment - just f*cking say a couple words if you've f*cking known me for years!!! God damn it! Nobody called me or emailed me. I only received condolences from Loveshack and Facebook friends. And two guys from a dating site whom I've told. Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 (((((Record Producer)))))) I don't have any wise words tonight, but I thought a cyber hug might help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 24, 2012 Author Share Posted February 24, 2012 (((((Record Producer)))))) I don't have any wise words tonight, but I thought a cyber hug might help.It helps, thank you so much! I was just looking at a list of celebrities who died; some old, some middle aged, some very young. So, I realize that it happens to others, too. I just miss him so much. Link to post Share on other sites
SimonMas Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 I am sorry to hear about your dad. Please accept my condolences. You need time to grief but you will need to bounce back and hopefully soon. Your dad is in a better place now. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
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