How do you like to be approached (Women)?

[turt]

I asked this in a more detailed thread but I didn't get any female feedback.

 

Would you find it acceptable for a stranger to ask you on a date without any previous discussion?

 

Thanks

[Cypress25]

You mean if a guy just walked right up to me and asked me out, without even chatting for a few minutes first?

 

No, I would not appreciate that. I don't know him. I don't know anything about him, so why would I want to go on a date with him? A woman needs a reason to say yes to the man asking her out. There must be something about him that she likes. You have to give her a reason to say yes, you have to show her something that she likes.

 

Besides, you don't know anything about her, so how do you know you want to go on a date with her? Just because she's pretty? That's a great way of conveying to the woman that physical appearance is the ONLY thing that matters to you. Might as well walk up to her and say "I don't know anything about your personality and I don't care. You're pretty and that's the only thing I care about. I don't even know if we speak the same language, but I don't care about that either because all I want is a pretty face and a vagina." It will also make her think you do that with every attractive woman you see, which will not make her feel special.

 

If you want to ask a woman out, you'll have to talk to her for a few minutes first. No shortcuts.

[turt]

You mean if a guy just walked right up to me and asked me out, without even chatting for a few minutes first?

 

No, I would not appreciate that. I don't know him. I don't know anything about him, so why would I want to go on a date with him? A woman needs a reason to say yes to the man asking her out. There must be something about him that she likes. You have to give her a reason to say yes, you have to show her something that she likes.

 

Besides, you don't know anything about her, so how do you know you want to go on a date with her? Just because she's pretty? That's a great way of conveying to the woman that physical appearance is the ONLY thing that matters to you. Might as well walk up to her and say "I don't know anything about your personality and I don't care. You're pretty and that's the only thing I care about. I don't even know if we speak the same language, but I don't care about that either because all I want is a pretty face and a vagina." It will also make her think you do that with every attractive woman you see, which will not make her feel special.

 

If you want to ask a woman out, you'll have to talk to her for a few minutes first. No shortcuts.

 

What would you like someone to say? I'm not good at creating a conversation out of nowhere! If I have something to talk about, it's fine.

 

I'd prefer to get to know the person but I don't know what to do at this point. I've never had a girlfriend - haven't even kissed at 23. I'm shy so I get nervous approaching anyone.

 

Here is the last thread I started:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/313459-asking-date

Edited February 16, 2012 by turt

[ditzchic]

I would not be cool with the first words out of a guys mouth being "Will you go out with me?"

 

Chat me up for a few minutes. Ask me how I am. If I come here often. What I'm drinking. Where I got my shoes. Anything really. If you are cute you can say just about anything and it will be found adorable.

[sooniechan]

I would think its pretty creepy to just ask someone out on a date if you didn't talk to them for a bit first. Well, at least I would find it really creepy. Try noticing something about the person; like what they are wearing, eating, reading, something lol. Personally, I find it awesome if you can make me laugh~

Though to be fair, I haven't been approached many times so I'm not sure how valid my opinion is lol

Edited February 16, 2012 by sooniechan

[turt]

I would not be cool with the first words out of a guys mouth being "Will you go out with me?"

 

Chat me up for a few minutes. Ask me how I am. If I come here often. What I'm drinking. Where I got my shoes. Anything really. If you are cute you can say just about anything and it will be found adorable.

 

How do I keep the conversation going if I just get a direct answer such as "good" "Macy's"? I get really nervous so it's hard for me to think as well in this type of situation (I'll probably start sweating, a little shaky after I start talking). After this, how do I proceed to ask her out? Ask for a phone number? Invite her to dinner?

 

I would think its pretty creepy to just ask someone out on a date if you didn't talk to them for a bit first. Well, at least I would find it really creepy. Try noticing something about the person; like what they are wearing, eating, reading, something lol. Personally, I find it awesome if you can make me laugh~

Though to be fair, I haven't been approached many times so I'm not sure how valid my opinion is lol

 

I've always thought that talking to any random person for this reason is creepy but I don't seem to have any choice!

[johan]

Are there any women who would like to be approached from under the table? Because I'm often tempted.

[sooniechan]

Try to follow up with more open ended questions if you can. Or start with them. That way the person, if they are going to respond to you, has to give more than a one word response. Also, I'm a pretty shy person and what I do that helps a little is not think too much about it. The more I think about it the more nervous and awkward I get. I realize it is hard to do but its possible!

[kiss_andmakeup]

Like the majority of the responses, I'd appreciate a little chit-chat before being straight-up asked on a date.

 

My boyfriend approached me in a bar after watching me curse and shake my beer at the TV screen while a major NHL game was playing. Apparently this was charming behaviour on my part...

 

So we ended up just chatting about hockey and finding out that we're both pretty big fans of our local team. So yeah, try to find some common ground with a girl, even if it's something small. Say you're at a bar/club and some obnoxious top-40 dance hit comes on. I was always the girl sitting down with my cocktail and rolling my eyes when that god-awful LMFAO song "Party Rock Anthem" came on...if a guy came over to me and said "man, doesn't this song blow?", he'd be guaranteed at least a giggle and a smile.

 

It's not necessarily about making ground-breaking conversation right away...more about getting your foot in the door and breaking the ice.

[kiss_andmakeup]

Are there any women who would like to be approached from under the table? Because I'm often tempted.

 

I'm actually considering what my reaction would be if a guy crept out from under my table and introduced himself to me. I'm guessing if I had at least one or two alcoholic beverages in me, I'd find it insanely funny.

 

Not that I am advising the OP to try this...I think it might be a bit advanced for him, but johan, I'm certain you could pull it off.

[sooniechan]

Are there any women who would like to be approached from under the table? Because I'm often tempted.

 

It would be interesting if nothing else~

[FrustratedStandards]

I would.

 

I would feel very uncomfortable, because basically he is saying "you're hot, let's date".

 

I always wanted a man to approach me and ask me what book i'm reading and what it's about. For me thats the ideal approach (since i'm a big reader).

 

The way I see it, if a guy can make you laugh, then that's enough of an ice breaker and I would consider a date right away. A man with a sense of humour who can make you laugh immediately breaks the ice, takes the pressure off and seems genuinely kind. For me, that would always work.

[ScreamingTrees]

So, basically, it's best to simply wait for an opportunity rather than aggressively create one, right? Gotta be proactive, but not too in people's faces? I seem to run into a lot of these little situations just from going about my day when I'm actually around other people.. Quick question.

 

I went to a store in my local mall with a friend awhile back. We were buying something from this card/trinket shop, bought some kinda wooden trinket, and one of the clerks said she only had what appeared to be garbage bags left.

 

Without thinking, I said "huh, very fitting" which had everyone giggling. I also found her to be very pretty, totally my type. Was there any way that could've ended well? Any possible way I could've made a move?

 

Or would that have been a bad place & time? I couldn't possibly think of anything to say, even now, but what would anyone else do in a situation like that? It's unlikely I'd ever see her again anyway, she probably doesn't even work there now and I wouldn't be looking to go back there for a total stranger unless I had to get another gift for someone. I ain't that crazy.. Just wondering if anyone could give me their two cents, for future reference.

Edited February 16, 2012 by ScreamingTrees

[Star Gazer]

"Hello. I had to come over and talk to you because, well, because you are the most beautiful woman in the room." <-- worked on me once.

[Star Gazer]

Are there any women who would like to be approached from under the table? Because I'm often tempted.

 

I told you to stop doing that. It creeped me out.

[FrustratedStandards]

I once was asked my number in a way that I thought was creative, and if I was single at the time, I definitely would have given my number.

 

"Hey listen. I just got a new phone and lost all my contacts. Can I have your number again?"

 

lol

[Jane2011]

If you are cute you can say just about anything and it will be found adorable.

 

lol - that's true....

[Jane2011]

I agree that you can't just ask a woman out without chatting for a few minutes first. If a guy did that to me, I'd think he was weird, even if he was good-looking.

 

Here are some experiences I've had with men talking to me out in public (presumably trying to fish for interest).

 

1) Some guy in the lobby of a car dealership where I was waiting to get my car's oil changed, asked: "Working hard, huh?" (I was typing fast and furiously on my lap top). He then proceeded to ask what I was working on, etc.

 

2) Some other guy at a bar just sat there eavesdropping on me and my friend and periodically inserting commentary to the things we were saying. Probably sounds a little creepy, but it wasn't too bad because he was sitting extremely close to us (very small, cramped bar), and I didn't even see it as eavesdropping so much as 'he's almost sitting right on top of us, of course he hears what we're saying.' I wasn't interested in him, but I didn't mind him commenting on the things we were saying.

 

3) I was standing near the jukebox of a coffee place last night, and some guy hovered nearby and told me I should play such-and-such song. I actually don't think this guy was interested -- just social -- but still, it's not a bad way to start conversation with someone. Make a suggestion to something they're doing. Oh yeah, that reminds me. At some sports bar, I was talking to a female friend about what drink to get, this cute guy standing about a foot or two away from us chimed in, "Go for a vodka drink. Vodka hangovers aren't bad." He, too, wasn't interested in me. He had a girlfriend, actually...

 

But, basically, just barging in on a conversation isn't too bad if you're in close enough proximity to the person you want to talk to. Maybe some women will disagree with this, but I think it's okay. It just has to be that you're *right there* and can't help but hear what was said and you comment on something relevant as opposed to something random (which would make you look weird).

Edited February 16, 2012 by Jane2011