2sunny Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 RP - do you have he big book of alcoholics anonymous? It may give you some good info to work from. That book saved my life! The relapse - I call it "collecting more evidence" that shows that it's best not to drink alcohol anymore - or at least just for today. IF I had to think about doing this for the rest of my life - I would bet overwhelmed and probably just drink right now! So I think it's a more manageable thought to just stay in "today" - and I just do my best for today. We learn from experiences like what you did. I totally understand that thought "I want one but I can never stop after one". Hence, evidence that I can't "control" my drinking. IF I COULD control it - it wouldn't be a problem! Ahahaha The fact that I couldn't control it showed me that I needed to change things. In my life EVERYTHING needed to change! I don't miss it now - as everything has changed, for the better! ;-) But I will say - in the beginning I missed it a lot - until I created a new life and got used to not having it. I did learn what it was like to be happy! I'm sorry about your Dad... Those traumas certainly do trigger a drinker to drink more. Good reason to throw a pity party always made me drink more. I cleared away my anger (as instructed in the big book) and without my anger - I no longer find reason to drink or to cover up my pain. I can "feel" things more clearly now - and it feels good. Yes, sadness still comes - but I can express how I feel without the need to cover it up or run away from my emotions with using alcohol as a numbing agent. Do your best... Be proud of yourself - this isn't easy - but it's definitely something you can be proud of - and it's definitely worth doing! Do not beat yourself up over a relapse - it happens... Just get back on path and only think of doing today. I'm around drinkers all the time - without drinking myself. For me - I wouldn't date a big drinker. I would date someone who has a drink now and then but not regularly. In the beginning - I had work to do just to stay sober... So I didn't date anyone for a while after I stopped drinking. It's too distracting and created emotional chaos for me... Demands and expectations from men - are what triggered me to drink - so I just avoided dating at the beginning and for about 6 months. Then I made sure I chose wisely... Never a man who's a big drinker! But that's just me... Hugs! Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 How are you doing RP? Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Well - its been a while - just wanted to see how you're doing RP? I see you started another thread - seems always to be focusing on what other men think/feel... You need to focus only on what you can control =YOU. Changing YOU - are you doing everything to change the drinker you used to be? What is it that you are changing? Link to post Share on other sites
Lil1 Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 I'm sorry for your loss RP. I hope you are feeling better. I know it's very hard, but do your best to avoid another relapse. Hang in there RP! We are here to support you. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 How are you doing with the drinking / not drinking? Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Checking in RP... Sending you positive energy and hope you are doing well! Hugs! Link to post Share on other sites
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