sally1530 Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 It wreaked my engagment. Porn and internet chatting will kill a relationship quicker than you can snap your fingers..... Link to post Share on other sites
capitald Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 I am happy but that doesn't mean I can't sympathize with the common Joe or Jane who must bust his or her butt all day and in all truthfullness probably does not have the energy for sex. Porn is a shortcut we take when we don't have time for sex. I bet you this would not even be an issue if people didn't have to kill themselves working long slavish hours, but then again, that's life. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 Let me guess, all these "guys that you have personally known so far" are a bunch of platonic-friend types who seem to always tell you exactly what you need to hear? Not really. Besides, it is not something I'd need to hear. Next time one of these guys calls you up at 2 AM and says "I need you to come over because there's something I need to talk about" that you should stop at the 76 and pick up a box of trojans. The Polyurethanes are my favorite. You don't have many female friends, do you? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 Originally posted by capitald I am happy but that doesn't mean I can't sympathize with the common Joe or Jane who must bust his or her butt all day and in all truthfullness probably does not have the energy for sex. Porn is a shortcut we take when we don't have time for sex. I bet you this would not even be an issue if people didn't have to kill themselves working long slavish hours, but then again, that's life. I'll take that bet. As much as people work nowadays, it was far worse in the past. Think of the people who pioneered the west and the settlers who first came to the USA and those who colonized. People worked hard from sun-up to sundown and still had time for sex and love and making babies. Pornography abuse and addiction is a social disease. It is not necessary for masturbation. I can understand masturbation because of fatigue or time restraints or just good old self-indulgence. I can understand youthful curiosity and viewing pornographic material a few times, but when a person defends it and tries to tell others that its just part of life and get used to it is too much. It has become unhealthy. It does not surprise me at all that there are so many divorces and broken hearts and broken promises today, because of the popularity of pornographic and violent materials that we fought so hard for in the 60's & 70's. In the 1960s we thought we were doing great things by giving ourselves permission to break out of what we thought were religious and societal restrictions and sexual oppression. We have the pill. We say its okay to have sex outside of marriage. It doesn't matter how many partners we have. "Still feeling a bit guilty? Try oral sex---oh, but wait. Lets just call it 'oral' and then we can claim that its not sex at all." "Don't worry about getting pregnant -- now we have THE PILL" Okay, that's great---however, that is just another way to give ourselves permission to behave like animals and 'mate' with whoever we want, whenever we want. What did that get us? Epidemics of STDs. Irresponsible parents. We went overboard and did not act responsibly. That set the stage for each new generation to be even less responsible. I don't know how to reverse the trend, but something will change it eventually. It's happened before in history. There is a BIG difference between nudity and sensuousness for the sake of art; mild pornography for the sake of curiosity, and hard-core and fetish pornography for those so afflicted with the 'need' for it that they will defend it to their last breath and wonder why they do not have a long-term, healthy, satisfying relationship. I don't want to take away anyone's freedoms. But all freedoms come with a price. I lost a dear friend and a relative to AIDS. It hurt and I grieve. But it was my friends choice to behave in a way that led her to get sick and die. My cousin was faithful to her husband, but he cheated on her and he got HIV and gave it to her. She had a baby with HIV, who later died of AIDS. She is still living with HIV. They are divorced. It wasn't her personal fault that this happened to her, but its the result of societies approval of sexual freedoms and our collective casual dismissal of an extramarital affair. We gave ourselves no rules to live by and now we are all suffering for it. For those like my cousin and her baby--they are collateral damage. Whether we, as a society, adopt a religious set of rules, or mirror them secularly - changes will happen in the tolerance and acceptance of sexual freedoms and morality and violence too. Maybe in another three or four generations we will change our laws and practices of acceptance and tolerance to make pornography less available to impressionable children and weak-minded adults who think that its okay to do something just because it feels good and give no consideration to the consequences. On the other hand; if enough people spread AIDS we may solve the over-population problem in a few more generations. Link to post Share on other sites
sally1530 Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 You dont need porn if you are working too hard, it takes just the same amount of energy to " jack off" as to make love to your partner- anyone who perfers his own hand to a real woman has some serious issues.... I mean he is living in the " fantacy world" not the " real world" .... Link to post Share on other sites
capitald Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 Its more like up with porn, down with penis. Link to post Share on other sites
AfriendAllie Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 Well I have been on this earth for 20 years and 11 days. I have yet to hug a female or hold ones hand. Does anyone here know how that feels? I feel as if my foot fetish is getting the best of me. If only I could meet a woman that is into feet also. I feel as if most women think that foot fetishes are weird. Why? I will NEVER know. Not to mention I am uncircumsized, as doesn't seem to go well with most women here. I am afraid to see what most women would feel in a national poll. And yet when I watch these dating shows, my heart breaks because the women are so feisty. If that's how most are I don't see myself ever getting married. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jeanie Posted June 11, 2004 Author Share Posted June 11, 2004 I think if anybody would get turned down by their S/O for porn it would make them easily a bit insecure... who wouldn't be?? Its def a let down. puts a damper on the spirit right? Lets just say porn is not bad for a second, then search the internet under porn. Anything that has to do with young teen girls getting naked and doing adult men needs to be considered bad and wrong... plain and simple. and why and how it exists and thrives thru the Internet so easily is beyond me. sounds like a society that doesn't turn men sweet but gives them whatever they wish. also again--porn in moderation (legal adult porn that is) is not the issue here with me- excessive porn is. Link to post Share on other sites
capitald Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 AfriendAllie, those dating shows are trashy, good girls do exist and they are not like that and are not the girls in porn either. Link to post Share on other sites
-{<+>}- Posted January 7, 2005 Share Posted January 7, 2005 okay, for everyone who is like "oh he should stop it, its becoming an addiction." the fact that it is an addiction is why he can't seem to stop. I know people who have had the same problem. best thing to do is FORCE HIM to make a choice between porn and something he else he can't get enough of (for example your good cooking? lol). if he still goes back to porn, make him make his own food or something like that (yes i realize that is a very stupid example). and ask him to think about this "how would he feel if all his friends, co-workers, bosses, etc. knew he jacked off to porn?" if anything will make him stop, that could be it Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 7, 2005 Share Posted January 7, 2005 Meanwhile he claims to be losing his sex drive, having less sex with me. On top of that hes having a difficult time expressing that he loves me. He tells me that Love is just a word and can be thrown around loosely. He is withdrawing from you emotionally, and I think in this case - porn isn't the problem: is an smokescreen for some deeper problem that, if not identified and solved will break you up. You two are so busy arguing over porn that you are probably missing some fundamental problems in your relationship not related to porn. You have articulated what bothers you, but he has not told you what is bothering him. I expect he isn't saying so, because what he would say would likely hurt you. Don't consider that he turns to porn instead of you - consider why he does. Why is he backing away from your emotionally? Is it control issues in the relationship? Hidden anger that he has toward you? For whatever reason he is falling out of love with you, and it has nothing to do with porn. Hopefully between the two of you, you can figure out what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
7on Posted January 8, 2005 Share Posted January 8, 2005 Throw out all the magazines and leave naked pictures of yourself in their place. He will have no excuse. Link to post Share on other sites
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