! not good enough....

[barriob]

So my ex recently told me he wold have sex with other girls if the opportunity came. It basically feels like he told me that I wasnt good enough for him. :/ he hasnt bothered to text me. The last message I sent him I told him i was done and i called him a jerk.

 

and then last night, i sent him a message saying i was sorry for calling him a jerk. and he never responded. it hurts that he doesnt care and i havent moved on. what do i do??need advice please. it makes me mad that i am still dwelling on it and he doesnt care.

Edited January 27, 2012 by barriob
personal

[BardoPond]

I doubt I'll say anything mind blowing but here it goes. These situations suck, always have and always will do. My heart goes out to you darling.

 

Do nothing for the minute. I'm not going to say go NC because from what I've noticed it seems to put pressure on the people trying to enact it. Why don't you try what I did. Say nothing, not a word, for one month. Write down anything you think you want to say, no matter how insignificant it seems, for that time and if you feel you really want to reach out than come back here and talk it though with everyone. At the end of the month if you can look at the things you wanted to say and still think that it's worth saying them than you have my blessing (I can't speak from anyone else though). You obviously won't be completely over him in a month but I think it's very uplifting to note how much your mentality can changed even if it doesn't take you all the way.

 

On the subject of you ex, he sounds like an ass and you can and will do much better. I doubt you'll really accept that yet but it's true and it's always nice to hear it (at least I thought so). He has no respect for himself or for others and it when you can help it you need not occupy yourself with someone like that. We're all here to help and I hope you take my advice. It doesn't have to be exactly as I say obviously, mould it to your own liking. I wish you all the best.

[geegirl]

So my ex recently told me he wold have sex with other girls if the opportunity came. It basically feels like he told me that I wasnt good enough for him. :/ he hasnt bothered to text me. The last message I sent him I told him i was done and i called him a jerk.

 

and then last night, i sent him a message saying i was sorry for calling him a jerk. and he never responded. it hurts that he doesnt care and i havent moved on. what do i do??need advice please. it makes me mad that i am still dwelling on it and he doesnt care.

 

Stop looking for validation from a man that demoted you to a sex buddy. You're scrounging for scraps. If only he wanted to have sex with you rather than those other girls, then you will be special in his eyes. Is that all you need to realize your value? He's having sex with other women because they don't come with an emotional tie that you probably still have for him, which he can most likely sense and that he does not want.

 

In any case, stop expecting respect and care from someone who keeps showing you that he has none of it to give. You're trying to prod him into reacting and giving you the response you want. He won't and he can't. Calling him a jerk won't unjerk him into being what you want.

 

Someone noted in your previous thread that he made it clear that he does not see a future with you. Let go. You tried the FWB to keep him in your life and it never works. A demotion most likely will never turn into a promotion.

 

For your sake, please find your dignity and your pride and disengage. Begin NC, grieve and start healing. Move forward from this.

Edited January 27, 2012 by geegirl

[M2155]

So the guy who is showing no interest or respect toward you after you tell him you are done doesn't text? Please tell me you're not surprised. Im not surprised that you texted again and he knew you would too. You are still doing the same things and getting the same results, you're fighting to hang on instead of fighting to let go.

 

I would tell you to get rid of his number and go NC for a very very very very long time....but I don't think you will listen. Every minute you continue to invest in him is a minute wasted on healing and moving on to someone that really wants you.

 

Ok so if he doesn't care, that's HIS problem, not yours. You can only work on you. You are hurting understandably, but take this time to focus on you (the way he is only focusing on himself). As long as you focus on him, you are giving him all the control and until you change what you are doing, you won't be able to begin to really heal. Good luck.