vhshowdown Posted June 2, 2004 Posted June 2, 2004 I need help in the best way to tell my EX to leave me alone. I am finding myself waiting for her to call me, and this is driving me crazy..... She tells me one thing, i feel like we have a chance, and then I dont hear from her again until a week later.... She called me yesterday right before I was leaving work, from a phone with Restricted ID (*67 I bet), so I told her can I call you back, and she tells me she will call me back in 15 minutes, and she never called back!! This is not good at all. I feel angry, but we arent together anymore, so I shouldnt. Problem is I know my feelings for her, I dont wanna let go of her, but I know it is the best. Thats why it is hard for me to let go 100%, I still want that chance..... Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. "Best way to get over love is more love!!"
eldslover Posted June 3, 2004 Posted June 3, 2004 Hello!! I'm in a sort of similar situation as you. My ex broke up with me about 3 monthes ago and i found myself in the same situation, finding myself waiting for her to call me. When she would, we would just say 'hi', sometimes we would meet up and just talk about watever. Anything she would say as far as a chance of getting back together i would try and think it was impossible, only because of what happened to us. It depends on why it happened. She left me because she had sort of just started something with someone else, so even as much as i would want another chance it wouldnt be cool, it would be awkward, like she cant be trusted. But if u told her to leave you alone wouldnt you still wonder why she isnt calling? I wish the same, that we could just forget about each other and leave each other alone. Sounds easy but its very hard to do i think. I dunno. Im still confused about my own situation and why havent left each other alone... Well at least im not the only one...
ValeriaM Posted June 3, 2004 Posted June 3, 2004 Oh the games people play.......both of you guys are too humble to say how you really feel which is always the case in relationships - therefore we resort to games in which nobody wants to admit they desperately miss the other person. The phone calls back and forth to see who will call back, etc. Even I've been there. I've learned it's better to just suck it up - tell the other person you're grown up enough to admit you still have feelings and want to be together and talk. They can either reciprocate the feelings or downright reject you. Nothing is more torturous than spending weeks playing these mind games. Save yourself the torture and just speak out on what you want. If the other person can't reciprocate then there you go - there is your answer - be done with them and move on - don't look back. Everyone wants to win and have the other person give in and make the first move - this just results in a standoff that can sometimes last weeks!!! Save yourself the agony. Just tell the person how you feel - if they want to play games then leave them behind.
quyster Posted June 3, 2004 Posted June 3, 2004 Here I am, another person to be on the same boat with you guys Talking about my ex-gf leaving me alone, man. She would not. I know she has another guy but when I started getting over her, not picking up her phone call. She starts calling me like 30 times a day, cry, cry in voice mail, on phone, saying how much she misses me, saying why I cut lose. Then I got soften, start caring for her and be nice again. But the nicer I am, the worst it comes back. Now, I'm back to the miserable days. Read more of my story here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?threadid=39991
Author vhshowdown Posted June 3, 2004 Author Posted June 3, 2004 Originally posted by ValeriaM Oh the games people play.......both of you guys are too humble to say how you really feel which is always the case in relationships - therefore we resort to games in which nobody wants to admit they desperately miss the other person. The phone calls back and forth to see who will call back, etc. Even I've been there. I've learned it's better to just suck it up - tell the other person you're grown up enough to admit you still have feelings and want to be together and talk. They can either reciprocate the feelings or downright reject you. Nothing is more torturous than spending weeks playing these mind games. Save yourself the torture and just speak out on what you want. If the other person can't reciprocate then there you go - there is your answer - be done with them and move on - don't look back. Everyone wants to win and have the other person give in and make the first move - this just results in a standoff that can sometimes last weeks!!! Save yourself the agony. Just tell the person how you feel - if they want to play games then leave them behind. ValeriaM, I understand exactly what you are talking about. The problem with coming out and telling the other one how you feel is tough and dependent on the situation. The problem is my ex, I swear she will not come out and tell her true feelings, if she even knows what those are. Well when we first broke up, I started seeing someone else, cause I was hurting real bad. So then she starts seeing someone else. Now I am no longer with the other girl, I went thru the agony of not being with my ex any longer. Well now she is still with dude, but she keeps calling me, etc.... So dumb me, I am thinking now that she is calling me back all the time cause she is NOT happy in her current situation. She even told me last time we were together that I wasnt a bad boyfriend. So it is mind games. No, I havent totally come out and told her how I feel, cause I dont think I can handle the rejection right now. My self confidence is kinda low right now cause of all this, so I am trying to get in a position where I can come out and say how I feel and except what ever happens, OR dont attempt it, and just move on, dont look back, and hopefully meet someone else someday..... So, now I feel like I am left in limbo, not sure where to turn next. I enjoy this website, I have gotten some really good comments and reading from others. So you all have helped me thru this time of need, thankx you all......
eldslover Posted June 5, 2004 Posted June 5, 2004 Ive let her know how much i miss her, and although i miss her incredibly we could never be together the same again. Im not asking for anything from her. before we was even together we were friends for years, just friends. then one day we got together and were in a relationship for just over a year. at the beginning we promised each other we'd never loose each other. in other words always be friends. after we broke up(we broke up on the fone, she said we just couldnt go on anymore and that was it, the next day i found out she had started something with someone else over a week before we broke up) i totally ignored her for a week or two until i finnally picked up once and it continued from there. its just so difficult to let someone go being that she was my good friend for so long and the life we lived together as a couple was the nicest thing that ever happened to me. as much as i do want to say just leave me alone its so hard....
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