Ex-Girlfriend has begun calling again

[estakado]

Indeed bro, the beach is nice and downtown is great too because all the females are dressing less. I had some numbers and did some things but it all seems empty....i guess my heart is still broken. I mean dam I am passin up some model level chicks because I'm all hungup on this broad...

 

I just need to meet new chic that has been through some stuff instead of some party girl that want someone for $$$. Dates cost soo much money...back in the day when you took a girl to like Red Robins or Rockets it was reasonable, but now them steak houses just burn all your dough.

 

I've never hated/loved someone at the very same time.....she still kills me. Thank GOD i aint waitin for her to call, it just sux that the world seems against me with all the couples walkin around, music playing and old movies that I seen with her playin on TV.

 

From trying to think about this what I'm going through sometimes it seems that I am tryin to hold on to a lie that feels soo true. But I got pictures and great memories so its got to be real....so someday someway.

 

Anyways yeah, NC still going strong! what up on your end?

[mr_miner]

Blah Toolz -

 

I went through something similar with a girl I was with for 2.5 years. We've been broken up now for 3 years or so, and I've been over her for 2 years, but your situation reminds me of when I was getting over her.

 

She broke up with me. But we continued to stay in contact afterwards. She called me almost everyday for months. During this post-breakup phase, we ended up sleeping together--she initiated it every single time--about 6 or 7 times after we broke up. In fact, the final time we slept together was some 7 months after we broke up! She would also say certain things, similar to what your ex is saying, that indicated she might want to be with me. After we'd sleep together, I'd never just ask her what it meant or if she wanted to get back together. But I spent all of that time trying to attach motives and meanings to every little goddamn thing she did or said, etc. If she called, I had to figure out what it meant. If we slept together, I tried to figure out what it meant. My entire existence revolved around trying to figure out whether we we're going to get back together. But I never, ever asked her, except for the final time we slept together. When I asked her "don't you think it's strange we've been split up for 7 months and we still want to sleep together?" and she said she didn't want to get back together with me, I finally cut off all contact with her. It was only then--seven months after it all originally ended--that I was able to start moving on with my life. I realized later on that I had put myself through so much unnecessary pain and delayed the whole process of getting over her.

 

My point is this: This girl may want you back. Or she may just want to keep you around because she isn't emotionally ready to let you go--a safety valve, because she knows she can call you when she feels low. But whatever she wants, she isn't being clear about it--she hasn't just said "I want you back." So to save yourself anymore self-torture, I would just ask outright what she's up to in doing all of this. If she says she wants to get back together with you, then consider it. If she says she doesn't, then realize she's just stringing you along--as you've suspected--and cut it off and move on. Continuing to have this ambiguous relationship with her will only prolong your agony.

[Blah Toolz]

Thanks for the post... but I am just going to keep moving ahead, and act like it's over for good. I don't want to be ****ed around with, and play games. I'm not in high school anymore. I don't think she's interested, because she hasn't called in 10 days... and the only reason she called me last time is because it was my birthday.

 

Like you said, she's probably just playing games... and keeping me on a string, otherwise she would be calling more often, or at least bringing up the subject of us getting back together. The memories we had together still cut me... because I am still in love with her. But I am learning to deal with it. I still can't believe how she basically threw me away like garbage, but oh well. Live and learn. Thanks for the comments though, knowing that you've been through it... I believe it helps me to see that she is just keeping me as a "safety valve," right now, like you said.

[estakado]

I agree with the safety valve theory....man it sux though because as much as I keep busy she always comes through in my head...and even worse now since she called me. I wish I could get hypnotzed into forgetting her so that this wouldnt hurt me anymore....seriously this sux. I'm glad I'm through the calling phase, I just need more ideas to keep my cool when she calls...if she calls again.

 

I'm wit ya BT!

[Blah Toolz]

LOL, something that sucks... is that I hooked up one of my boys with a girl that is pretty good friends with my ex. So last night, he says he has something to tell me that I probably would want to hear. I tell him if it's concerning my ex, then I didn't want to hear. But I finally gave in... because wtf, who says that **** and then expects me to not want to know what's going on?

 

"Hey bro, I got some info from that chick. She said that she had to go over your ex's house because your ex was crying over some a**h*** thing that her new guy friend did."

 

I said..."So how exactly is this good news to me, a**h***? One, she is crying over some guy, which means she is upset... and two, it's not like she's exactly called me back over it."

 

He says, "Well, maybe she's realizing that she wanted to be single for a while, test the waters, and now she's getting ****ed over. She might realize that you were a genuine guy that actually cared about her."

 

Heh, I told him to shut the **** up for the meanttime, but I guess he does have a slight point. I'm still gonna keep moving ahead... but I guess it just shows that I didn't treat her like an a**h*** on purpose. I really did care for her, and I still do love her.

[Good2Go]

Some chicks just like to dangle the rope to see if they still have your interest. It's not a bad thing if you like playing the game a little yourself. BUT if you don't want to play the game, ignore her and keep moving forward.

[Blah Toolz]

Yeah, now with that info my friend gave me that this new guy screwed her over somehow... should I give her a call? Or just continue doing what I've been doing?

 

I'm still at the point now where every move I make is confusing... I can't go a day without thinking about her and I miss many things about her. But should I stick with the no contact... or call her up and be someone to talk to? Or will I just get ****ed over again?

[dreamguy]

If the new guy screwed her up then she will call you again !

Stick to your decision for the time being and wait for her call (it may take days).

When you answer be neutral. Don't be all loving and don't be sarcastic (remember that if you show them hatred they know you still care !). Indifference is what makes them question everything ! After all, if you were talking to a stranger towards whom you feel no love and no hatred... how would you act ? Right, you would have a totally indifferent tone of voice !

If she tries to talk about what the other guy did to her. Listen for a minute and then tell her CALMLY that you do really sympathize with her but you gotta hang up and get going because you're pretty busy (better think of a very good excuse right now because she won't like it when you tell her that and she might demand an explanation !!).

If you stay on the line and force her to change the subject then it will be rude. You don't want to be rude. You want to be cool because this is how real strong people act. Cool, confident and calm.

By telling her you really sympathize with her you'll be giving her a chance to call you again when she feels like it.

This will be your "cool and neutral" way of telling her you still care but you're not gonna be a doormat on which she can wipe her feet whenever she wants to !

[estakado]

What up BT:

 

Yeah dont call...dont call at all. What sux about that moment when she cried is the fact of not being there for her and or at least to say HA HA I TOLD YOU SO! Man if I can get that in my situation it would be sweet!

 

But on the reals, yeah dont call. She's got to earn you and go through her deal before she can deserve you. Whats wack is that she'll prolly still be tryin to get with dude before she even thinks about you again....dammit.

 

Anyways keep it movin bro!

[Blah Toolz]

Nah, don't think she's going to call. I'm starting to remember more things that have happened during our break-up. Things that make me question if it really is worth getting back with her.

 

I can remember the way she led me on one night after we broke up... we watched a movie together at her house, and I tucked her in like old times. She flirted with me a lot, and heavily. She started kissing my cheek, open mouth. And then my neck. I moved in for a kiss on the lips and she turned her head, and told me that "We're just friends, friends kiss on the cheek."

 

I can remember a few days later, when we were acting like friends in class, joking around like old times. I made reservations that night for a fancy restaurant, and called her up to surprise her. I thought we could reconcile. I really didn't and still don't see the reason that she threw me away like trash. She said "No, I'm going out with Beth tonight." I said... "Oh." "Take someone else," she said. I drove to her house like an idiot, and she was getting ready there with her friend Beth. I can just remember the look on her face, it was so ****ing sarcastic when she asked me "Why do you keep doing this?" I told her I didn't know... and I remember them just walking right past me and into the car, and gone. It was a pain like I'd never felt before... like a baseball bat hitting me in the stomach repeatedly.

 

I know she loved me. But how could someone that loved me so much just turn around and do this to me one day? It still baffles me to this day. Sure, there are some signs that I got after those two events that maybe showed some regret on her side, and that she missed me... but still. I still love her, and I think about her all too much... I think I should be over it by now. But tonight, all I could do was think about her, and sit in my bed and just stare at the ceiling because I miss her so much, and wonder why this had to happen.

 

Sucks. But maybe the best way to get through this now is just to walk away and not look back.

[estakado]

Hey BT:

 

I'm hangin in there so you should too, lets both make them miss us. I drove my ex's lil bro home today and his mom thanked me, she was also sorry about the whole thing between me and her daughter and I said it was okay and that I'm okay.

 

Yeah man she's missing out on what you guys could have and she is definitely making mistake, so I'm with ya in making them miss us.

 

Keep up with the NC, and post up here instead of calling her. I'm gonna do the same thing and I'm looking forward to the next day when I just dont really care about this too much.

[Blah Toolz]

Is it natural to wonder if she misses me... and wonder why she seems to be so much stronger... and thinking that she is so much happier without me? Is that what she thinks?

 

Whatever... something weird happened today. My ex's best friend bumped into me at the mall, and she said "Oh wow, you look so huge and ripped." The last time I saw her was probably four months ago, and I've been lifting six days a week like I did when I was with my ex... but I have more time to go now, and I can finish any rep I want, so maybe I am looking bigger. Can't notice it myself... but I know I am more cut, because I've started my cardio routine again. So anyways... I talked to her for about two seconds, and finished doing what I was doing.

 

Later that night, she IMs me and we talk a little bit. This is the same chick I kind of hooked my boy up with, so I mostly talked about that. But she kept the subject on me, and said "You should go to this party I'm throwing this weekend at my house." I don't know what's up here, I just said "Haha, I dunno." And she said "Yeah yeah, guess I'm not cool enough. Sniffle." Something like that.

 

1. I don't want to go because this is my ex's good friend, and that would be sketchy.

2. She just reminds me of things I've done with my ex, and that's no good.

3. If I hooked up with this chick, and she seems to be giving me signals... then that would be no good, and I def. don't want to do that, because I'm not interested. It's pretty much morally wrong IMO... I know it would hurt my ex's feelings.

 

Oh well, I did get some info from her about my ex's new guy... she said "Yeah, I think you could take him. He is scrawny." (She also hinted that he wasn't as good looking.) Haha, well I don't really care, but whatever. I am starting to get to the point now where I think to myself... "You know what, this is her loss. I didn't do anything to her, she tries to make me feel bad and get it into my head that I was a bad boyfriend... but I really did my best and I loved her. It's her loss, so I'm moving on with my head up."

 

Haha, maybe it's corny, but whatever. There's no reason to mope around and feel sorry for the rest of my life... I know it wasn't all my fault, my friends even say "Good, we can hang out more now bro, you let her control you so bad."

[dreamguy]

1. I don't want to go because this is my ex's good friend, and that would be sketchy.

2. She just reminds me of things I've done with my ex, and that's no good.

3. If I hooked up with this chick, and she seems to be giving me signals... then that would be no good, and I def. don't want to do that, because I'm not interested. It's pretty much morally wrong IMO... I know it would hurt my ex's feelings.

1. Even if this is your ex's friend, you're not taking her out on a date. You're just going there (and there will be plenty of other people). I don't see anything wrong in going to that party and having some wild time ! Unless you can't handle the fact that your ex mighty be there with someone else.

2. Never compare two persons. Fact is, no two persons on this planet are 100% alike. Not even twins. I used to think just like you... then again, all the things you did with your ex are things you normally do in any relationship. So there's no problem in doing them again with someone else (I'm not saying it should be your ex's friend). It's life !

3. She might be giving you signals based on your ex's request. Just keep that in mind. Moreover, you say you're not interested. Don't give that friend any hopes for the time being.

 

Oh well, I did get some info from her about my ex's new guy... she said "Yeah, I think you could take him. He is scrawny." (She also hinted that he wasn't as good looking.) Haha, well I don't really care, but whatever. I am starting to get to the point now where I think to myself... "You know what, this is her loss. I didn't do anything to her, she tries to make me feel bad and get it into my head that I was a bad boyfriend... but I really did my best

and I loved her. It's her loss, so I'm moving on with my head up."

It's just great to be on this forum. So many times, people write about the exact same things that are happening with me. I didn't do anything to hurt my ex. My ex's new bf is skinny and short whereas I'm real tall and I lift 5 days a week. In fact, I might run into her this summer at the beach (we go to the same place). I can't wait to see the look on her face when I pass by with my 6`3`` and my worked out body, she'll think: "Sh*t, what have I done, look what I lost !"

So Blah Toolz, you're doing great. Keep your head up and stay strong !

As another topic's title says: "The best revenge is living well !!" Start living well today, delay no more !!

[estakado]

You know what? If you feel that her friend is FEELING you then you should go, and if things pop off between you and her then go for it. I dunno if it is okay with your buddy that you are gonna get with his ex, but if its all good and if you want to then you should. Just make sure that you want a fling or LTR, but prolly not a LTR since she isnt as good as the ex right? Well decide on that. Also you gotta gauge whether or not she is good for a scam or is she just being overly friendly.

 

If you do go to the party do it up Count of Monte Cristo style and be the man! Be confident and she'll be wonder all about you again. You've got nothing to lose whether you go to event or not.

 

She aint even looking out for you right now bro, so it may give her a taste of her own medicine to see you livin it up.

 

get back at us bro.

[Blah Toolz]

Nah... I'm not interested in her friend. Even though she did put me through some pretty rough ****... I wouldn't want to do that to her anyways. This is her closest female friend... this is the "Beth" from the stories that I am talking about that is hitting on me here. Even though my ex was my closest partner, and pretty much betrayed me by tossing me out like garbage, I wouldn't go after this friend of hers just because I wanted revenge. "Beth" IMs me all the time now, I just make quick conversation and sign off. It's not my buddy's ex by the way, just somebody that I suggested he go after and try to fool around with.

 

I dunno man... just tough sometimes. Wish I could leap into the future in some crazy ass way.

 

Been 15 days now since I've spoken to her, and about a month and five days since I've seen her physically. Oh well, I just think like I'm never going to see her again... because if she wanted me out of her life or wanted her space that badly, then I'll just give it to her. Don't know if she was showing regret in those previous calls... but I just take it day by day now... and it gets a little easier.

[Blah Toolz]

Sorry for the double post... I just can't sleep tonight.

 

I have been having the strangest thoughts and feelings lately... on the one hand, when I lay awake and close my eyes... the memories of her flood into my head. I don't want to lose these memories of her... being with her, the places we've been together, the times we had... it brings me to the verge of tears.

 

On the other hand... it's almost as if these memories are there to taunt me. To tell me that I can never do these things with her again. The memories cut me like a knife, and they hurt that much more because of what I think about. I think that right now... my ex is just a stranger to me. I haven't seen her in a little more than a month, and the way it looks now -- it's like she's dead to me. Because she is a whole different person. I think about getting back together with her... then I think about how I loved being with her, and not being able to meet her ideals. She thinks I didn't make her enough of a priority....

 

I don't know. I'm gonna try to get some sleep now. Thanks for the posts all, keep them coming. I will get through this ****.

[dreamguy]

I don't want to lose these memories of her... being with her, the places we've been together, the times we had.

Even if you tried to forget them you won't be able to. Take my word on that !! So STOP feeling guilt about letting go a bit until you feel better. You won't lose the memories. I still remember the first kiss I had with my first gf (14 years ago) just as if it was yesterday !!

 

The memories cut me like a knife, and they hurt that much more because of what I think about. I think that right now... my ex is just a stranger to me. I haven't seen her in a little more than a month, and the way it looks now -- it's like she's dead to me. Because she is a whole different person. I think about getting back together with her... then I think about how I loved being with her, and not being able to meet her ideals. She thinks I didn't make her enough of a priority....

There you go again with feelings of self pity. Blah Toolz you have to understand that when it comes to relationships and human interactions you can never put the blame on 1 person alone (it's called interaction meaning it always involves two sides). Both parties are always wrong about something. Granted, one can be more wrong than the other but still you should stop saying you didn't make her enough of a priority. Did she make you enough of a priority when she decided to jump out of this relationship without communicating her needs to you first ? No. Then treat her the same. You deserve the same respect (if not more because you're a genuine person !!)

As for the memories that cut like a knife, when my ex first broke up with me the first thing that came to my mind was the intimate and cozy times we had together and it cut me like 1000000 knives all relentlessly stabbing my wounded heart !!

She can't be a stranger to you and you can never be a stranger to her. You two have met and bonded some time in the past (and who knows about the future). No one can erase that !

You weren't able to meet her ideals ? Dude what are you talking about ? Is she the Queen of England by any chance ? What about your ideals ? What about her meeting your expectations ??

I say you're stronger than this, you're just going through a moment of weakness... that's all. It'll pass and you know it.

Keep posting !!

[estakado]

So what about the party? Yeah you know what even though you feel guilty, at least be happy that you are doing the right thing and giving her space. She just needs to make the full mistake of leaving you and you need to keep up with what you got going now to be a successful person. Doesnt this summer suck? YUP! But its all good, when the winter comes, we will be soo much stronger, man I started getting back into lifting today....hurts like a mugg.

 

Yeah dude, its funny how now like we want to call them but we dont really need too now.

 

Keep up with the updates bro!

[dreamguy]

About the party, this is taken from a previous reply of mine:

 

1. I don't want to go because this is my ex's good friend, and that would be sketchy.

2. She just reminds me of things I've done with my ex, and that's no good.

3. If I hooked up with this chick, and she seems to be giving me signals... then that would be no good, and I def. don't want to do that, because I'm not interested. It's pretty much morally wrong IMO... I know it would hurt my ex's feelings.

1. Even if this is your ex's friend, you're not taking her out on a date. You're just going there (and there will be plenty of other people). I don't see anything wrong in going to that party and having some wild time ! Unless you can't handle the fact that your ex mighty be there with someone else.

2. Never compare two persons. Fact is, no two persons on this planet are 100% alike. Not even twins. I used to think just like you... then again, all the things you did with your ex are things you normally do in any relationship. So there's no problem in doing them again with someone else (I'm not saying it should be your ex's friend). It's life !

3. She might be giving you signals based on your ex's request. Just keep that in mind. Moreover, you say you're not interested. Don't give that friend any hopes for the time being.

 

About lifting weights again, they say there's a solid link between how you look and how you feel. The better you look the better you feel. Keep lifting it makes you feel you're achieving something (and you really are). It makes you think positively. Hell, you could even reach a point where you would say "I look so good I can get any person I want, don't need my ex anymore !"

 

we want to call them but we dont really need too now.

Excellent point, there's a big difference between wanting something and needing something. You can control your needs and you're doing a great job so far.

[Blah Toolz]

Well... it's been 18 days now since she called me on my birthday... and a month and 8 days since I've last seen her. It doesn't look like she'll be calling me... so I guess I'll have to take it as it is. It just doesn't seem like this pain is ever going to end... I feel so empty without her. I just wish there was a clear cut sign that she missed me too... that everything we did together isn't somehow cancelled out by the events that transpired when we broke up. I really don't know what she thinks of me... maybe she doesn't miss me at all.

 

Sure... she did call and want me to go over her house, and then invited me to her brother's baseball game... but how was I supposed to accept those? I remember calling her one time after we had broken up... and hearing her say "Well, I'm going into work now, I'll call you back later." I never received a call. This happened maybe three times before I finally decided to stop. Just too many things that I remember... the way she acted when she broke up with me... like I was dirt. And she did it intentionally. I never meant to hurt her intentionally... so why did she feel the need to put me through hell? Do you guys think I was wrong to reject her offers?

 

I just want to go through a quick list of the times she contacted me...

 

I remember she called me up at the mall and said "So what are you doing?"

"Shopping for new clothes," I said.

"With who?"

"Nobody, I'm kind of busy, in the dressing room though."

"Yeah yeah, since when do you ever go to the mall by yourself?"

 

She invited me to go over that night, but she never really made definite plans until she IMed me later that night at like 10.30 and expected me to race over there. I told her that it was getting late, and I told her which chapters to study in the book. She said "Oh... well you aren't gonna come sit with me?" I told her "Sorry, but no thanks." She then said "Fine." And signed off. Was I too hasty.... should I have shown her that I still cared about her, or would she have just played around with me like I mentioned in a previous post? (Kissing me on the cheek several times, and then when I move in for a kiss on the lips she pulls away)

 

She also called me a few nights later right after she got out of work, at about 11pm. She said she was going to do this earlier in class. I was surprised that she called, actually... but I was actually expecting a call from somebody else. We talked for a little bit, and I think I screwed up with her. I said "Well, I have to get going." She asked why. I said "Well, I'm expecting a call." She said.."Oh," in a voice that sounded like she was going to cry. Did I **** up here? Was this my chance to get her back, or has she already given enough evidence that she was just going to play games?

 

The last time she called to ask me to hang out was to ask me to go to her brother's baseball game with her during the day, but I was at work, so I had to decline.

 

And then the last time we spoke was on my birthday. And like I said at the beginning... that was a long time ago... and it doesn't look like she's going to call. The what if's and the way I analyze all these conversations kills me... but I figure if she really wanted to get back, she would have tried to contact me again, right? Or did my rejections make her think that I had moved on?

 

Will she talk to me again? Heh... I suppose if you guys knew the answer to that one, then you'd know everything... but oh well. I really don't know what to do, I still get so ****ing depressed. I still love her so much... but it still hurts so much to think about how she turned on me.

[estakado]

BT, if you feel like it and since you've waited long enough, just ask to meet her, and then tell her how you feel about her and everything, tell her everything that is wrong with the relationship, then listen to everything that she says, watch how she says things, look at her eyes and body. Then listen closely as the words hit you. Ask if she still loves you. If she says no, or she cant love you the same then do the right thing for yourself and leave. Leave because in doing so you will bring the power back to you and she will realise her decision. She will realise her loss and it is up to her whether or not to do anything about it.

 

Its harsh but you need real closure right now, a month and 8 days is alot of time to keep the doors open. You gotta put your effort in asking her back and seeing if she wants you, or just move on.

 

Its better to know where you guys stand now truly instead of just wondering anything.

[dreamguy]

Blah Toolz,

but I figure if she really wanted to get back, she would have tried to contact me again, right? Or did my rejections make her think that I had moved on?

I think there's some truth in your line. You rejected her like 3 times knowing she was the one who called. Do you really expect her to keep on calling and asking to see you ?

 

The last time she called to ask me to hang out was to ask me to go to her brother's baseball game with her during the day, but I was at work, so I had to decline.

Well I think you should have proposed an alternative when you had to decline that day. You declined too many times without suggesting substitutes. This either touched her pride or made her think she didn't matter to you anymore. Either way, she might have ruled you out of her life (I said might because I can't be sure and it's just an opinion).

 

 

estakado,

BT, if you feel like it and since you've waited long enough, just ask to meet her, and then tell her how you feel about her

While I'm inclined to agree with estekado that the ball is in your court now and you should call if you feel like it, I must disagree about you telling her how you feel about her and what is wrong with the relationship.

You'll only be bringing back ghosts from the past and she will only see in you the exact same guy she decided to leave. Show her a new guy ! Show her the guy she fell in love with ! Just be careful to be as natural as possible when you do that (weren't you natural when you first met her ? I know you were so you can do it).

Call her and propose that the two of you do something cool together (no dinners, no clubs... pick something light that you can do during the week). If she doesn't accept, then stay calm and say "well, I thought I'd ask you about it, anyway I have to get going... you take care now" and hang up. You will have a clear conscience if she never calls back. If she does, then she'll most likely have plans and you'd better accept this time

[estakado]

Hey DG:

 

Yeah maybe BT should come through and contact her as a new guy. But I dunno, I mean the reason why we need to find some common ground or closure is that all this emotional distress from being apart is just murder. He is doing the right thing and keeping busy but the girl is still on the brain. Since she seemed to move on, we cant feel like we are responsible to worry about them anymore and we gotta let them make the mistakes that we try and protect them from. On our end we need some kind of closure or gesture to decide whether on not this is even worth our time. I guess that he is the only one to decide that.

 

All I know is that if we do decide to get the girl back its gonna take alot of work and change on our end...especially since the girl is the one that left us and the fact that we dont feel that we didnt do anything wrong.

 

What sux about girls is that they are about to keep their true desires and emotions, what we do know is that she still didnt drop this other dude yet. But I'm totally down to help us guys get the girl back if we need, because we already know what we need to do in order to move on.

[Blah Toolz]

Yeah, that's the thing? Do you think it is time to contact her again? I know she is probably still dating this new dude.

 

I just don't know what to think... I really can't stop thinking about her though, and would love to see her again. However... what would I set up? Just something light and fun like you said, maybe a walk somewhere, etc. to catch up on things? I don't know... maybe I'll give it a shot...

 

I just don't want to make it seem like I shot her down three times, and that's that... but then again, I don't want to give in and make her think that I am weak by calling her again first. Maybe I should wait for her to call me again... but then I could be waiting forever... she doesn't seem to miss me.

[dreamguy]

I just don't know what to think... I really can't stop thinking about her though, and would love to see her again. However... what would I set up? Just something light and fun like you said, maybe a walk somewhere, etc. to catch up on things?

No, no, no.

Dude how can be it light and fun when you're gonna catch up on things (if talking about the past is what you mean by catch up on things) or if you tell her about your feelings now that she is still confused. Forget the past when you're with her, erase it ! Act as if you had just met her 2 seconds ago and you have no memories with her (at least for now, until you try to get her back).

 

Maybe I should wait for her to call me again... but then I could be waiting forever...

Then set a reasonable date (in days or weeks but not too far in the future) in your mind and tell yourself "If she doesn't call me by then, I'll call her". And everytime you feel like calling her, remind yourself that the date you set has not arrived and tell yourself, it's no use thinking about her now. I'll do that when I call her (if she hasn't called by then).

 

she doesn't seem to miss me.

We all think that. Why ? Because we have been dumped. We tell ourselves that this person does not love me or care for me otherwise they wouldn't have dumped me in the first place !

Wrong ! Most of the time, when you're dumped it doesn't mean the other person has stopped loving you. It usually means they are hesitating and are confused but the feelings are still there. Depending on how you act and how needy and clingy you become after being dumped then you either reinforce those feelings of love (in the person's heart) or you totally kill them.

Trust me, it's not easy killing them if they did once exist in the past. Some people cheat on their mates, physically abuse them, steal their money, humiliate them... and yet you find the other person still having feelings of Love.

So Blah Toolz, she does miss you. She just doesn't want to show it to you because she knows this is what it takes to stop hurting as soon as possible.