wilsonx Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 All I can do is just sit back and watch and in the end...I know I will get the "I told you so" and I'm sure she will be coming back crying... Hmm, sure Ive read this quote 103940 times on this forum, ****, I might have even said it to myself a couple times. Guess what rarely happens? I can speak from experience, being captain save a hoe and following your heart, hurts in the end. I took chances, they didnt pan out, so I am focusing on me and figuring out my fatal flaws and working on those. This is something I highly encourage you focus on instead of waiting for your day of vigilance. Who knows, when your day of Vigilance comes, you might not even care Link to post Share on other sites
gibson Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Sky, I have just what you need! A used Captain Save a Ho costume I no longer use if you want it. Cool design, great colors and it breaths really well. The cape really sets it apart from the others, if you ask me. The suit even has "SUPERPOWERS"! It protects you from logic, reason, sanity, peace, wisdom, understanding, healing, moving on and acceptance. However, I did find out that it doesn't protect you from YOURSELF, from being a fool, losing your dignity, destroying you self-esteem, crushing your self-worth, misery, sorrow, heartache, pain, torture and from self inflicted wounds. If interested, I will have it dry cleaned and gladly ship it at no charge to you. The sooner I get rid of the damn thing, the better! Personally, I thought it was funny. Tough crowd! Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 25, 2011 Author Share Posted December 25, 2011 Hmm, sure Ive read this quote 103940 times on this forum, ****, I might have even said it to myself a couple times. Guess what rarely happens? I can speak from experience, being captain save a hoe and following your heart, hurts in the end. I took chances, they didnt pan out, so I am focusing on me and figuring out my fatal flaws and working on those. This is something I highly encourage you focus on instead of waiting for your day of vigilance. Who knows, when your day of Vigilance comes, you might not even care Yea I get what your saying Wilson. Like I said I have been trying to work on myself. I have made some progress but its not enough to say I'm completely healed. But I'm trying. Anything can happen at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Its only been a month, Im on 7 and I will be honest, I am not close to being fully healed. You have got a long road a head of you. Focus on that journey and the short trips and breaks in between Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 25, 2011 Author Share Posted December 25, 2011 So your sure she will come back crying and you'll put your life on hold until then....what if she doesn't?? Then what? You are NO WAY even being close to moving on/dating etc. No my life is not on hold, and I'm not waitting for her. I'm still working on me and right now my main priority is school. I can put more focus to it now that she's gone. So I guess that's a plus for me. I know I'm not ready to date and have no intention to go out there Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Gibson, I donated mine to Goodwill this morning, just left it at the back door Link to post Share on other sites
ZimboGon Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 No my life is not on hold, and I'm not waitting for her. I'm still working on me and right now my main priority is school. I can put more focus to it now that she's gone. So I guess that's a plus for me. I know I'm not ready to date and have no intention to go out there But i bet the only reason you are doing so well is because you are holding onto hope she will come back? You need to face your fear that she might NOT come back before you can truly work on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Sky, I have just what you need! A used Captain Save a Ho costume I no longer use if you want it. Cool design, great colors and it breaths really well. The cape really sets it apart from the others, if you ask me. The suit even has "SUPERPOWERS"! It protects you from logic, reason, sanity, peace, wisdom, understanding, healing, moving on and acceptance. However, I did find out that it doesn't protect you from YOURSELF, from being a fool, losing your dignity, destroying you self-esteem, crushing your self-worth, misery, sorrow, heartache, pain, torture and from self inflicted wounds. If interested, I will have it dry cleaned and gladly ship it at no charge to you. The sooner I get rid of the damn thing, the better! I missed this, self reflection is a bitch after reading this comment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 25, 2011 Author Share Posted December 25, 2011 Its only been a month, Im on 7 and I will be honest, I am not close to being fully healed. You have got a long road a head of you. Focus on that journey and the short trips and breaks in between A little over two months, almost 3... It just hurts how she displays anger towards mr and is focused on the bad things in our relationship when there were plenty of good times. I wouldnt of had that much of a roblem if the guy was better then me...but this guy is a complete douche and his best friend told her not to get involved. I hope she is not blinded by lust and I know she is just filling that void of loneliness... Link to post Share on other sites
CaliBabe Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Sky, Coming from a woman, you really need to get a grip and control yourself. You are looking crazy right now. You have to let her go. You have to let her live her life or you will lose her forever, even as a friend. You cannot run someone elses life. Just stop. Please! Do you know how you come off to her? How she sees you? She will not see your good intentions of trying to protect her, she will see it as you being obsessive. It looks really bad Sky. Please stop and go NC and stop stalking her. Let her go man, let her go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 25, 2011 Author Share Posted December 25, 2011 But i bet the only reason you are doing so well is because you are holding onto hope she will come back? You need to face your fear that she might NOT come back before you can truly work on yourself. I accepted that shes not coming back....its the pain i have not accepted... And it hurts knowing she is going to get walked all over and that I can't stop that from happening.... Link to post Share on other sites
ZimboGon Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 I accepted that shes not coming back....its the pain i have not accepted... And it hurts knowing she is going to get walked all over and that I can't stop that from happening.... Sky, look at my threads. My ex has been dating someone for 5 weeks who cheated on his last girlfriend and emotionally abused her. BUT, there is nothing i can do except wait and better myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 25, 2011 Author Share Posted December 25, 2011 Sky, Coming from a woman, you really need to get a grip and control yourself. You are looking crazy right now. You have to let her go. You have to let her live her life or you will lose her forever, even as a friend. You cannot run someone elses life. Just stop. Please! Do you know how you come off to her? How she sees you? She will not see your good intentions of trying to protect her, she will see it as you being obsessive. It looks really bad Sky. Please stop and go NC and stop stalking her. Let her go man, let her go. I have been on NC, if anything all she knows is that I'm friends with that guys ex gf becuase we went to the same school. She has no idea that we talk about this or anything. I think this is day 3 of NC? and I don't have any desire to text or talk to her at all. When we did talk last time, I cut the conversation off, didn't pour my heart out, didn't say anything about us in terms of a relationship. That is a lot better then I used to do in the begining. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 25, 2011 Author Share Posted December 25, 2011 (edited) Sky, look at my threads. My ex has been dating someone for 5 weeks who cheated on his last girlfriend and emotionally abused her. BUT, there is nothing i can do except wait and better myself. Yea I been reading your threads...but the thing is she wasn't cheating on me, she met this guy a month after the break up. I'm just so caught up into helping other people that I can't help myself....but I'm trying... Edited December 25, 2011 by SkyEmtRN Link to post Share on other sites
gibson Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Thank you Gibson, I'm trying here. Trying to pull myself together. I am still in NC and she has not reached out to me. I'm doing the best I can to hold my grounds. It's a process, it takes time and there are many bumps and bruises along the way. I hope everything works out so that she does not get hurt and still keeps her values. It will work out but she will get hurt. She will be trucking down the "bad boys" highway for several years. She threw her "values" out the window several miles ago. I will always respect her and love her, but who she is now...she's confused and I hope that she does pull out of this really soon. She isn't confused, she knows exactly what she is doing and she is just getting started. She will be this way for years. She's not ready for this, she is going to get hurt badly. Yup She's not a strong person at heart she's the quiet sensitive type and clingy. There are consequences to our choices and actions and pain is life's greatest teacher. Hope this pushes him away since he's the douche. Not until he gets what he wants. If anything, I feel bad for her becuase she has downgraded. You should feel bad for you. She is still trying to get her life in order in terms of jobs and career. Is she now? I think you will be surprised how quickly her life / career take a set back. She is really setting herself up if them two do date....but there's still the possibility that they won't but right now...anything is fair game. They are already dating. All I can do is just sit back and watch and in the end...I know I will get the "I told you so" and I'm sure she will be coming back crying... This line of thinking isn't going to allow you to move on and heal. If fact, every single post in this thread is about her, what she is doing, thinking, etc. and nothing about what you are going to do. If I had to bet, you are the type of guy that makes a women his EVERYTHING... You should probably work on that because nobody wants to be your everything. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliBabe Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Gibson is right. You have to do things for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyravenloft Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Skye: My ex, who swore love and devotion right up until he vanished without a word, is marrying the woman he cheated on me with this Tuesday the 27th. He's known her since around Sept, when he started cheating on me with her, and in the middle of October she dropped out of university, dropped off her child with the child's father then text messaged him he could have full custody, bought a one way ticket to my ex's country and has lived there with him for a little over two months. Last I spoke to him he was planning our future together...and appearently doing the same thing with her. Now they are making it a reality together. Am I hurt? Yes and no. Do I want to contact her family and let them know what she's marrying? Yes and no. Will I even get involved? No. No because he dumped me. He made the choice to leave me for a piece of trash that can easily turn her back on her own 4 year old daughter.....her own flesh and blood. She's marrying someone that started off their relationship while still in one with me. As far as I'm concerned, they both deserve to learn the lessons that are coming to them. Leave your ex alone. Learning from experience is the best thing for anyone. Without it, it's too easy to blame someone else for whatever goes wrong, and therefore you will stay weak. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 25, 2011 Author Share Posted December 25, 2011 It's a process, it takes time and there are many bumps and bruises along the way. If I had to bet, you are the type of guy that makes a women his EVERYTHING... You should probably work on that because nobody wants to be your everything. I read it all, thank you. I know I should be agreeing with the things you say but I'm the type of person that needs proof. Yes you do have experience and thats the best thing I have right now. But I need to see things for myself... And no, I'm not that type of guy. If anything I always put my school before her. And she couldn't handle that. I tried to balance it and make changes but this was occuring during the end of the relationship and it was too late for her. For her values...she's very very very tight about them in terms of saving for marriage. She is not permiscuous doesnt go to clubs doesn't like bars, doesnt even dress in tight clothing etc. And yes you do have the right to say that I don't know that anymore and that is true. But I need to see that for myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 25, 2011 Author Share Posted December 25, 2011 Skye: My ex, who swore love and devotion right up until he vanished without a word, is marrying the woman he cheated on me with this Tuesday the 27th. He's known her since around Sept, when he started cheating on me with her, and in the middle of October she dropped out of university, dropped off her child with the child's father then text messaged him he could have full custody, bought a one way ticket to my ex's country and has lived there with him for a little over two months. Last I spoke to him he was planning our future together...and appearently doing the same thing with her. Now they are making it a reality together. Am I hurt? Yes and no. Do I want to contact her family and let them know what she's marrying? Yes and no. Will I even get involved? No. No because he dumped me. He made the choice to leave me for a piece of trash that can easily turn her back on her own 4 year old daughter.....her own flesh and blood. She's marrying someone that started off their relationship while still in one with me. As far as I'm concerned, they both deserve to learn the lessons that are coming to them. Leave your ex alone. Learning from experience is the best thing for anyone. Without it, it's too easy to blame someone else for whatever goes wrong, and therefore you will stay weak. I'm sorry to hear all that. And like I said, I won't get involved. BUT I can't control the ex gf of the other guy. And I'm not going to. If she wants to do my dirty work and try to interfere she will, but I didn't ask her to. She's doing it strictly to get back at him for cheating on her. I already know that NC is best and for me to not get involved. And I'm doing my best and to listen to that. A part of me is telling me to send a message to her friend to give that friend a heads up of what might happen. But I'm NOT going to. I have no full evident that they are dating and what the relationship is. They could be just friends. I don't know and nobody knows. We can ASSUME that they are dating. But like I said, I'm NOT getting involved and I'm NOT going to stop them two. The idea of seeing her hurt by this guy does bring me some sense of joy since she does deserver this. But at the same time I don't want her to go through it but I can't do anything about it... Link to post Share on other sites
gibson Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 For her values...she's very very very tight about them in terms of saving for marriage. She is not permiscuous doesnt go to clubs doesn't like bars, doesnt even dress in tight clothing etc. And yes you do have the right to say that I don't know that anymore and that is true. But I need to see that for myself. Universal Truth People become what they hang around or show me your friends, I will show you your future. Sky... You are about to see this truth become a reality with your Ex. She will be going to clubs, bars and start wearing tight clothing and the values you speak of are going to slip away for several years. You know how many other guys / girls have posted on LS swearing and defending their Ex's honor, values and the person their Ex use to be? Thousands! Guess what, all of their Exes let them down. You know how I know your Ex is going to prove you wrong? Because a women of quality, substance and who respected her values as she once did... Would never give a guy like that the time of day, much less date him. Sorry to break the news to you, but your Ex is already trucking down the "bad boys" highway and won't get off of it for several years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 25, 2011 Author Share Posted December 25, 2011 Universal Truth People become what they hang around or show me your friends, I will show you your future. Sky... You are about to see this truth become a reality with your Ex. She will be going to clubs, bars and start wearing tight clothing and the values you speak of are going to slip away for several years. You know how many other guys / girls have posted on LS swearing and defending their Ex's honor, values and the person their Ex use to be? Thousands! Guess what, all of their Exes let them down. You know how I know your Ex is going to prove you wrong? Because a women of quality, substance and who respected her values as she once did... Would never give a guy like that the time of day, much less date him. Sorry to break the news to you, but your Ex is already trucking down the "bad boys" highway and won't get off of it for several years. Yea, I guess we'll have to see what happens. If anything its her loss, not mine. She's going downhill, I'm going uphill... Only time can tell, and theres always that possibility that nothing might even happen and that this can all be just a wild goose chase. I'm still going nc but I'm probably going to say merry christmas later tonight but nothing else. Just leave it at that and not expect anything in return or anything to change. Her main reason for not having sex is becuase she's affraid of getting pregnant and knows she is in no position to be supporting a kid. She does have a brain, its a matter of it still being there or not... Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Yea, I guess we'll have to see what happens. If anything its her loss, not mine. She's going downhill, I'm going uphill... Only time can tell, and theres always that possibility that nothing might even happen and that this can all be just a wild goose chase. I'm still going nc but I'm probably going to say merry christmas later tonight but nothing else. Just leave it at that and not expect anything in return or anything to change. Her main reason for not having sex is becuase she's affraid of getting pregnant and knows she is in no position to be supporting a kid. She does have a brain, its a matter of it still being there or not... Actually your going downhill too.. How are you going N.C. but your going to tell her Merry X-Mas later?? Have you thought about getting professional help?....I'm afraid you need it...your NOT listening to one thing we have been advising you to do!!! Apparently you DON'T want her back or this is some joke! Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 If your saying he needs professional help a month or 2 after a breakup, you should read my post 7 months after a breakup I would be the one thats insane. Buts its ok, you have to learn the hard way Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 If your saying he needs professional help a month or 2 after a breakup, you should read my post 7 months after a breakup I would be the one thats insane. Buts its ok, you have to learn the hard way You insane Wilson..no way,lol. Actually I think that's when people need it the most. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 25, 2011 Author Share Posted December 25, 2011 Actually your going downhill too.. How are you going N.C. but your going to tell her Merry X-Mas later?? Have you thought about getting professional help?....I'm afraid you need it...your NOT listening to one thing we have been advising you to do!!! Apparently you DON'T want her back or this is some joke! Alright, no merry christmas then....if she wanted to talk to me she would text me. But she's not going to...so why should I go out of my way to wish her a merry xmas? Link to post Share on other sites
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