lolita jade Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Do you think we only want to hear and give positive guidance on LS. because we are all in the same position and want to believe everything will be rosy. I havent read any posts where anyone has said. Your ex wont come back to you, wake up and smell the coffee Which is probably true in most cases.
wilsonx Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Have you read my threads? And I am the hated one for telling people the "truth" The problem is very few people are willing to accept the truth, they argue, make excuses, write 10 paragraph responses for 4 sentences. I can show you 2 threads today alone where the truth is right there in front of someone and they just keep lying to themselves and validating what they think to me.
Author lolita jade Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 I have read a couple Wilson. I do think people only want to believe what they want to. Ex's can come back in many circumstances though but I do believe in alot they wont. The only solution is NC and move on. It it is meant to be it is meant to be. Takes a while for that to sink in though.
Jono85 Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Have you read my threads? And I am the hated one for telling people the "truth" The problem is very few people are willing to accept the truth, they argue, make excuses, write 10 paragraph responses for 4 sentences. I can show you 2 threads today alone where the truth is right there in front of someone and they just keep lying to themselves and validating what they think to me. If you're hated, it's not b/c of your advice, but moreso your pompous, 'high and mighty' attitude. You tell other people who are just trying to help that they are wrong, and make it sound like your advice is gospel. There's nothing wrong with telling people advice they might not like; I do it all the time. But save the other stuff please.
Author lolita jade Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 Oh dear what have I started
ZimboGon Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Hey, wilson. I've seen you around, i have a lot of threads. If you get the chance, could i have your opinion? I think i have 4 threads... Kinda been busy. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t310153/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t310348/
Author lolita jade Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 Irony is if you go NC from the word go and move on as soon as ready you have more chance of getting your ex back but none of us want to believe that when first on here. We all did the needy stuff which has the opposite effect.
chados Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 i dont know, i have a lot of friends that has got their exes back. if the relationship was a good one, its often not that hard to reattract the other person. the hard part is to keep them. two former girlsfriends came back to me, but i had moved on, just been through a breakup and i dont know whats going to happen. but ill sure keep you posted. by the way, i know this is a crazy one but one of my friends girlfriend has been cheating on him 3 times and theyre back together. its just different from person to person. my friend here and his girlfriend are just afraid of being alone i guess.
twinkles Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 I don't know about that Lolita...I've answered a few honestly.... Every situation is different. Sometimes you can clearly read a situation and other times you see some hope. Maybe having lived some of these situations gives you a better perspective. People do come back. They do change their minds. There are happy endings. Alot of times just having them go back and read their own posts they will see the answer for themselves.
Rorschach64 Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 At first I came to LS looking for hope, a way to get my ex back, any possible way would do it for me. Then LS made me man up and not beg my ex but to fight back against her insaity, still I didn't get her back but at least in the end I had my dignity and a clean name (falsely accused me of cheating). I shared my story about my ex and if it was GIGs, got some confirmation about it except one person just called her an attention whore and there is no chance of her coming back, which made me just give up hope all together from there on out. Funny how one opinion can totally destroy all that hope, was it because I knew deep down this person was right? Hope is the first step down the road to disappointment.
Author lolita jade Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 Rors, That person who called her a whore (guess who:) ) does not even know you or her. You sound like you have got bitter over her now. Is this a stage you are going through? Twinkles, I didn't start this thread to be completely negative. What I meant was do some people come here with hope that a no win situation will right itself. I know every case is different. But are some people told with the no win situations that it will all be rosy by some (not all) and does this give them false hope??
oldguy Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Do you think we only want to hear and give positive guidance on LS. because we are all in the same position and want to believe everything will be rosy. I havent read any posts where anyone has said. Your ex wont come back to you, wake up and smell the coffee Which is probably true in most cases. I have, not often though as most of the stories here a obviously one sided, incomplete & bias and most people are just looking for positive direction or more times reassurance that they are not alone in their situation.
M2155 Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 (edited) Hope is the first step down the road to disappointment. I kinda agree with this. Like I said expecting something when the other person is not obligated to react/respond will leave you disappointed. But to answer the question, no one can predict the future...but all the time people will tell you to move on because thats the only part that YOU can control. Sometimes "what you don't want to hear" is absolutely the most positive thing. We often find it hard to believe the ex is the wrong person for us. We lose a lot when we become a couple and are all of a sudden single again, but sometimes "rosy" IS learning to be happy single. I believe you attract what you give out. I'm not saying you always have the same behaviors as the person or it works out in the end, but when you have drama, esteem issues, personal unfulfillment etc...it comes to light in your relationship wether you realize it or not. That's what I have concluded in reading people's stories. That sometimes life throws you a painful lesson in order to make you a better person somehow or understand what you really need in a partner. Everyone breaks up for a reason so it's never rosy. There are many situations where reconciliation looks possible but living for hope is leaving your future in someone else's hands. Ok...not sure I answered the question:o Edited December 15, 2011 by M2155
Rorschach64 Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Jade, You're right that person doesn't know her or me or the relationship. Even if what my story protrayed her as a bad demonic person, name calling is well inappropriate and not conducive to growth/healing. Bitter? I guess, a bit. Only thing I can think of when in regards to her is, the possibility of being friends with her , which I cannot bare to think about, and if she came back, I couldn't in good faith see myself taking her back because it would betraying myself let alone I don't think I could ever trust her again. I guess the only HOPE you can give someone that will come true in all this is that there is always some one else that will make you very happy or just as happy as the last person.
chados Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 I kinda agree with this. Like I said expecting something when the other person is not obligated to react/respond will leave you disappointed. But to answer the question, no one can predict the future...but all the time people will tell you to move on because thats the only part that YOU can control. Sometimes "what you don't want to hear" is absolutely the most positive thing. We often find it hard to believe the ex is the wrong person for us. We lose a lot when we become a couple and are all of a sudden single again, but sometimes "rosy" IS learning to be happy single. I believe you attract what you give out. I'm not saying you always have the same behaviors as the person or it works out in the end, but when you have drama, esteem issues, personal unfulfillment etc...it comes to light in your relationship wether you realize it or not. That's what I have concluded in reading people's stories. That sometimes life throws you a painful lesson in order to make you a better person somehow or understand what you really need in a partner. Everyone breaks up for a reason so it's never rosy. There are many situations where reconciliation looks possible but living for hope is leaving your future in someone else's hands. Ok...not sure I answered the question:o yes i agree. i've been seeing the strangest reconciliations. people have different values. i would never take back a girl thats been cheating on me 3 times. but my friend has. and theyve been together for 3 years or something. although i know he has no selfrespect when it comes to woman, no one has been able to change his mind about this girl.
Author lolita jade Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 M2155 and Chados I definately agree with your opinions. Rors, I am sort of with you. I cant imagine being friends with my ex as I am hurt and the two dont mix. But I have to really be amicable as we have adult kids. I just need to go NC for ages until the feelings go. The longer it goes on I cant imagine taking him back but I have a bad side that wants his relationship to fail and him to want me back. Sour grapes I suppose.
chados Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 M2155 and Chados I definately agree with your opinions. Rors, I am sort of with you. I cant imagine being friends with my ex as I am hurt and the two dont mix. But I have to really be amicable as we have adult kids. I just need to go NC for ages until the feelings go. The longer it goes on I cant imagine taking him back but I have a bad side that wants his relationship to fail and him to want me back. Sour grapes I suppose. of course you want it to fail right now, its life. but dont ever doubt theres someone else out there. if things doesnt work out with your ex, you'll always have your kids, not to mention other memories that you some day will appreciate a lot. all those years will mean something to you, and you'll find someone thats more suitable for your own needs at this point in life.
Author lolita jade Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 I know Chados. My friend told me to focus on his bad points and there will be someone 10 times better. If I was younger with no children I dont think I would feel as bad but I feel like I have failed the family. silly but it doesnt matter how old your kids are.
chados Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 I know Chados. My friend told me to focus on his bad points and there will be someone 10 times better. If I was younger with no children I dont think I would feel as bad but I feel like I have failed the family. silly but it doesnt matter how old your kids are. i see your point. its not a failure. even though kids are the most important for parents that doesnt mean they want you to stay together if youre not happy. its important to focus on yourself for yourself.
Author lolita jade Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 They just want us to be happy but as a parent you do live with guilt.
ZimboGon Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 I personally wouldn't be able to handle the break-up without the thought that we could get back together. My ex left me for another guy, and before that when the relationship was great i gave her everything. I even sold most of the stuff i owned to finance some trips for us. I basically lived my life for her to some degree. She was pretty much the reason i got out of bed. So, without the hope that she is in GIGS and is coming back, i would be completely devastated. I mean, i'm quite certain she is the person i want to be with and without that notion i would feel completely lost in life. So yeah, i come here for hope and to hear nice things. If i hear anything bad my heart just sinks. However, i know i could never compare to some of the pain others are in. I'm only 20, i haven't had any kids.
chados Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 I personally wouldn't be able to handle the break-up without the thought that we could get back together. My ex left me for another guy, and before that when the relationship was great i gave her everything. I even sold most of the stuff i owned to finance some trips for us. I basically lived my life for her to some degree. She was pretty much the reason i got out of bed. So, without the hope that she is in GIGS and is coming back, i would be completely devastated. I mean, i'm quite certain she is the person i want to be with and without that notion i would feel completely lost in life. So yeah, i come here for hope and to hear nice things. If i hear anything bad my heart just sinks. However, i know i could never compare to some of the pain others are in. I'm only 20, i haven't had any kids. you could still feel the same pain, some relationship breakups at young age is actually harder to go through then marriage. because they dont believe theres anyone out there. well there is
ZimboGon Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 you could still feel the same pain, some relationship breakups at young age is actually harder to go through then marriage. because they dont believe theres anyone out there. well there is I know there are other people out there. People who are better than my ex. The only problem is they aren't her, and she is what i want. I've already confirmed that =P
Recommended Posts