After sex, when should he text or call?

[spinaroonie]

OP, you seem to have embraced all the tenets of PUA doctrine with the fervid zealotry of a religious fundamentalist. I'm happy that your masters don't require suicide bombings, or you'd be first in line to sign up.

 

 

 

If you are cold approaching attractive, young girls, there is going to be a power imbalance. They are valued more by society than us, and there is little we can do to change that. Our best defense is to stack the odds in our favor- either by approaching tons of sets, or by constructing a "net" in the form of social proof.

 

We are all scientists here- running experiments, analyzing data, making predictions--it sounds silly, but thinking of game as an experiment ultimately allows us to detach from the negative emotions we experience when things go awry. It is in this light that "rejections" or "flakes" are of little significance--they are just part and parcel of the whole pickup experience. You want to protect your ego? Become celibate--that's the only way you won't face rejection. For the rest of us, we'll accept the frustrating aspects of pickup because we know the payoff is pretty sweet--we actually get to CHOSE our partner, rather than the other way around.

 

Do a survey of the couples that you know: How did they meet? Most of the time, it's because of their social circle. This is how most relationships form; the problem is, it's a very limited pool.

 

The fact that we dare to venture outside of this pool makes us rare, indeed. It also predisposes us to a variety of risks that AFCs aren't willing to take. So be it; we all know full well that we could relax our standards and SETTLE if we were so inclined, and have chosen not to do so. So, it's not our place to whine; it's our job to find solutions to the problems we have imposed upon ourselves.

[Jane2011]

I generally want some sort of acknowledgement that you're still interested the day after, not necessarily an invitation to another date. In fact, NOT an invitation. Just something to make me feel attractive and valued.

 

Yeah, pretty much that for me. Setting up another date is even better, but at least the above. The guy I'm with now, I had sex with him on our fourth date, and he contacted me next day twice, even bugged me about whether I'm still into him or not. (I say "bugged me" in an affectionate way.) It was obvious he was still interested, and we sort of mutually set up a next date over text...

[betterdeal]

If you are cold approaching attractive, young girls, there is going to be a power imbalance. They are valued more by society than us, and there is little we can do to change that. Our best defense is to stack the odds in our favor- either by approaching tons of sets, or by constructing a "net" in the form of social proof.

 

We are all scientists here- running experiments, analyzing data, making predictions--it sounds silly, but thinking of game as an experiment ultimately allows us to detach from the negative emotions we experience when things go awry. It is in this light that "rejections" or "flakes" are of little significance--they are just part and parcel of the whole pickup experience. You want to protect your ego? Become celibate--that's the only way you won't face rejection. For the rest of us, we'll accept the frustrating aspects of pickup because we know the payoff is pretty sweet--we actually get to CHOSE our partner, rather than the other way around.

 

Do a survey of the couples that you know: How did they meet? Most of the time, it's because of their social circle. This is how most relationships form; the problem is, it's a very limited pool.

 

The fact that we dare to venture outside of this pool makes us rare, indeed. It also predisposes us to a variety of risks that AFCs aren't willing to take. So be it; we all know full well that we could relax our standards and SETTLE if we were so inclined, and have chosen not to do so. So, it's not our place to whine; it's our job to find solutions to the problems we have imposed upon ourselves.

 

You make it sound about as much fun as nailing your bollocks to a dustbin lid.

[betterdeal]

Where's the serendipity, the spur of the moment, the romance? Proper rogues and lover boys lie and sweet talk, but they lie and sweet talk on their feet. Serge Gainsbourg, a cad to the bone, puts these schmucks to shame. As one critic wrote of him:

 

Unconventional, imaginative, nothing if not audacious, Gainsbourg: A Heroic Life is a portrait of creativity from the inside, a serious yet playful attempt to find an artistic way to tell an emotional truth... the songwriter's life is heroic because he lived deeply in his own imagination and did continual battle with the personal demons who shared that space with him... Screenwriter Sfar's final word on this difficult, fascinating man is "I prefer his lies to his truth," his dreams to his reality. It's not hard to see why.

 

It was his passion, his complexity, his honesty when it came to showing his attraction to a woman, that made the man attractive. If someone lies to get close to you it can be quite flattering, even if you see right through it.

 

His sort are not the settling down type, but not everyone wants to settle down right now. His female counterpart today would perhaps be Rihanna who, like Serge, oozes sex appeal because she is, like he was, devoted to her own truth.

[LittleTiger]

You make it sound about as much fun as nailing your bollocks to a dustbin lid.

 

I don't have bollocks of my own but, yes, this about says it all.

 

Poor guy hasn't got a clue!

[spinaroonie]

That's sad. Don't they realize putting out won't get you love? The way I see it, if a guy really cares about me, he'll wait. If he doesn't care about me, why would I want to have sex with him?

 

 

 

Define "high value." A guy who tries to manipulate women for sex is not high value. He's just pathetic.

 

 

 

I wait until we've been in a committed relationship for at least several months. I don't do casual sex. This ensures that no one ever takes advantage of me and no one uses me for sex. Rushing into sex too soon is just asking to get hurt, especially for women.

 

Very few guys will wait longer than a few dates to be intimate. Fyi ladies, guys are still sleeping with other women while dating you - they won't tell you tho.

 

I don't know if this is a troll post but 'hooking up'\fwb\f*ck buddies has become so common its dropped the value of your vagina's. Even 'good girls' put out quickly now for fear of losing the guy to another woman.

 

Making a guy wait solves nothing. You say you do it to make sure you're not getting used, but every guy I know talks to multiple girls and just rotates them so there's an overlap of pussy while they wait for the "new" girls to get past their "making him wait" stage.

Completely pointless.

 

If you won't put out, another girl will.

 

I can understand not ***kin him in the first hour you meet, or even the first couple of dates, but after about the 3rd date if there's no physical interaction of any kind, I really don't see any point at all. He's just going to think you are FZ'ing him and bang some other girl that's less difficult and prude.

[snug.bunny]

Very few guys will wait longer than a few dates to be intimate. Fyi ladies, guys are still sleeping with other women while dating you - they won't tell you tho.

 

Don't worry, we pretty much already assumed this to be true.

[spinaroonie]

Don't worry, we pretty much already assumed this to be true.

 

Clever girl.

 

Unless you are dating a loser who has no other options, desirable guys are having sex with chicks on the regular, it is that simple. You can delude yourself into thinking your taco is so special, and that it is normal to make a guy waiting months for sex, but no guy who has options is going to put up with that, unless of course he is tapping others on the side.

[snug.bunny]

Clever girl.

 

Unless you are dating a loser who has no other options, desirable guys are having sex with chicks on the regular, it is that simple. You can delude yourself into thinking your taco is so special, and that it is normal to make a guy waiting months for sex, but no guy who has options is going to put up with that, unless of course he is tapping others on the side.

 

Firstly, let's not refer to my woo woo, as a "taco".

 

Secondly, I would like to believe that when I first began dating someone, that (a) he wasn't the type of person to engage in sexual relations with other women while we were actively dating and (b) the connection was strong enough that he didn't feel a need to have sexual relations with other woman while actively dating.

 

If he did, he did. If I found out at some point, I'd make a decision at that point accordingly.

[spinaroonie]

Firstly, let's not refer to my woo woo, as a "taco".

 

Secondly, I would like to believe that when I first began dating someone, that (a) he wasn't the type of person to engage in sexual relations with other women while we were actively dating and (b) the connection was strong enough that he didn't feel a need to have sexual relations with other woman while actively dating.

 

If he did, he did. If I found out at some point, I'd make a decision at that point accordingly.

 

Was mentioned before, but guys are STILL sleeping with other women while saying you're the only one they're interested in. (not me, of course).

 

Any guy with options has 4-8 girls on rotation that he flirts and hangs with (even if he's only sleeping with 1-2 of them). That STILL means he has 2 other women to nut inside of while he waits for the new girl to take him seriously.

 

FYI after you give up the goods a few times and ask 'where's this going', you realize he'll say he 'isn't ready for a relationship'. Come on women, get it together, we're giving you insights into the minds of males 18-34.

[snug.bunny]

Was mentioned before, but guys are STILL sleeping with other women while saying you're the only one they're interested in. (not me, of course).

 

Any guy with options has 4-8 girls on rotation that he flirts and hangs with (even if he's only sleeping with 1-2 of them). That STILL means he has 2 other women to nut inside of while he waits for the new girl to take him seriously.

 

FYI after you give up the goods a few times and ask 'where's this going', you realize he'll say he 'isn't ready for a relationship'. Come on women, get it together, we're giving you insights into the minds of males 18-34.

 

I'm not saying you're wrong.... I'm saying I'd like to believe, that what you're saying, isn't true.

 

Come to think of it, my sister's husband has been going to Las Vegas quite a lot for work, and they are getting along quite well after a recent bump in the road. I'm starting to wonder if all the frequent trips to Vegas have something to do with it. The seeds of doubt have now been planted!!

[Andy_K]

Any guy with options has 4-8 girls on rotation that he flirts and hangs with (even if he's only sleeping with 1-2 of them).

 

4-8 girls? Jeez, do some people really have no life outside of dating & trying to get laid? Most guys don't have time to be seeing that many girls.

 

I know I wouldn't be particularly interested in dating any girl who's got so little going on in her life that she can date 3+ guys at the same time for a month

[PlumPrincess]

That's not true. Women don't need sex before they can feel a connection. Many women prefer to build an emotional connection before they have sex with the guy. It makes sex more meaningful and satisfying for her.

 

 

 

If there really was chemistry during your first date, it will not be forgotten in a few days. Women are not that forgetful. Generally, if a woman has a wonderful date with a new guy, she won't be able to stop thinking about it for weeks. If she forgets about it in a few days, that means there wasn't actually any chemistry during the date. The guy only thought there was.

 

 

 

You don't need that if there is a real connection between you. Making her feel insecure is what guys do when they have to force an artificial connection to compensate for the lack of a genuine connection.

 

 

 

No, it's because the girl didn't like him enough. He thought it was a great first date, but she obviously didn't.

 

 

 

No, I would assume he's not interested and I would write him off. It definitely wouldn't make me more interested in him. Ignoring me is a clear signal that he doesn't like me, so I would forget about him and move on.

 

 

 

That's not how you build momentum between dates. That's how you make a girl write you off as "not interested." I'm not saying you should send daily reminders of how witty you are. There's no need to text back and forth continuously between dates, but you don't need to ignore the girl either. The happy medium (which is what normal people do) is to call or text the girl 1-2 days after the date and ask her out for a second date. That's it. If you had sex, you should do this the very next day.

 

You're so misguided. For some reason, you think making a girl feel insecure is the only way to keep her interested in you. That's simply not true. I've never dated a guy who made me feel that way. I would never date a guy who deliberately kept me waiting, just to make me worry. There's nothing attractive about that. It's an instant turnoff.

I totally agree with everything.

[Janesays]

Was mentioned before, but guys are STILL sleeping with other women while saying you're the only one they're interested in. (not me, of course).

 

Any guy with options has 4-8 girls on rotation that he flirts and hangs with (even if he's only sleeping with 1-2 of them). That STILL means he has 2 other women to nut inside of while he waits for the new girl to take him seriously.

 

FYI after you give up the goods a few times and ask 'where's this going', you realize he'll say he 'isn't ready for a relationship'. Come on women, get it together, we're giving you insights into the minds of males 18-34.

 

Sorry, those aren't the types of guys I date. And not at all what I define as 'high value.' In fact, that is the complete opposite of what I define as high value. That's no value to me at all.

[Janesays]

females desire first date sex. they say they arent that way but they are.

 

Maybe some girls. But this girl means what she says and says what she means. I've never gone for bad boy player types. I go more for the super smart nerdy types. For example, my first husband was a software developer. My current boyfriend is an engineer. I've dated Doctors, biologists, physicists, etc. And if you think these types of guys are out there screwing girls on their first date, you're crazy. They're too busy with their work and comic books.

[spinaroonie]

Sorry, those aren't the types of guys I date. And not at all what I define as 'high value.' In fact, that is the complete opposite of what I define as high value. That's no value to me at all.

 

Let us be real - you really think making him wait is going to accomplish anything when there are, oh i dunno, hundreds of other available women that are cuter that will put out right away?

 

What does a man gain from patiently waiting for you to randomly decide it's time to allow him into your vagina? How pissed off would you be if a GUY made YOU wait for 6 months, and then when he finally banged you it was the worst, most dull, boring, and plain sex you'd ever had?

 

There isn't a vagina in this world good enough to wait a year for, and certainly not a woman in this world interesting and fun enough to tolerate for a year without getting some.

 

LOL @ these women thinking their pussy is so special and important that we should chase them relentlessly, desperately praying for the day they decide we are compatible enough to finally be allowed to have some!

[Janesays]

Let us be real - you really think making him wait is going to accomplish anything when there are, oh i dunno, hundreds of other available women that are cuter that will put out right away?

 

What does a man gain from patiently waiting for you to randomly decide it's time to allow him into your vagina? How pissed off would you be if a GUY made YOU wait for 6 months, and then when he finally banged you it was the worst, most dull, boring, and plain sex you'd ever had?

 

There isn't a vagina in this world good enough to wait a year for, and certainly not a woman in this world interesting and fun enough to tolerate for a year without getting some.

 

LOL @ these women thinking their pussy is so special and important that we should chase them relentlessly, desperately praying for the day they decide we are compatible enough to finally be allowed to have some!

 

 

That's it. I've had just about enough of this thread. First of all, I am not an 'option.' I am not a 'set.' And I am not a 'vagina.' I am a person, a human being, with feelings, emotions, hopes and dreams. Just like you. I feel pain when I'm devalued, objectified, used, and tossed away like garbage. Can you understand that? Do you even care?

 

Well, maybe you don't. But not all men are like you. Some people have the ability to feel compassion towards others. They aren't overgrown manchildren who look at relationships and intimacy with fellow humans as if it all were just a video game they must 'play' in order to win their 'prize.' Some of us understand that without love, without caring, without touch and intimacy and joy, well, life just isn't worth living.

 

But hey, enjoy your soulless screwing around that will eventually lead your lonely end on a deathbed with a nurse who couldn't care less if you live through the night.

 

But the way, I'm not single. I'm in a relationship full of love and joy.

 

Are you?

[LittleTiger]

That's it. I've had just about enough of this thread. First of all, I am not an 'option.' I am not a 'set.' And I am not a 'vagina.' I am a person, a human being, with feelings, emotions, hopes and dreams. Just like you. I feel pain when I'm devalued, objectified, used, and tossed away like garbage. Can you understand that? Do you even care?

 

Well, maybe you don't. But not all men are like you. Some people have the ability to feel compassion towards others. They aren't overgrown manchildren who look at relationships and intimacy with fellow humans as if it all were just a video game they must 'play' in order to win their 'prize.' Some of us understand that without love, without caring, without touch and intimacy and joy, well, life just isn't worth living.

 

But hey, enjoy your soulless screwing around that will eventually lead your lonely end on a deathbed with a nurse who couldn't care less if you live through the night.

 

But the way, I'm not single. I'm in a relationship full of love and joy.

 

Are you?

 

Well said Jane!

 

Don't take any of what these guys say to heart though - they are small minded men who are afraid of women and of the power that women have over them - hence their need to objectify women and devalue us at every opportunity.

 

They're not worth the time it takes to type your post so, yes, leave the thread alone and it will eventually disappear into LS history - along with many others like it started by equally sad individuals who are probably long gone from here and undoubtedly still single!

[dasein]

LOL @ these women thinking their pussy is so special and important that we should chase them relentlessly, desperately praying for the day they decide we are compatible enough to finally be allowed to have some!

 

Yeah, it's the reason behind all the hissing and spitting in this thread. Also the reason behind all the over the top screeching about PUA. You will get more of the same any time you suggest that women aren't the only gender allowed to engage in sexually manipulative techniques to achieve their goals with the opposite sex.

 

They refuse to understand, let alone acknowledge that PUA and game techniques are simply men's answer to makeup, jewelry and perpetually being told by culture in so many words that women should have 100% of the power in dating and early relationships. PUA and game techniques are reactions, responses, not proactive "mad scientist" techniques men cooked up in an evil lab somewhere, they are the product of massive experimentation to find out what works. If guys could get laid by wearing lone ranger masks and walking canes, rest assured guys would be doing that. It is what it is because it's what women respond to. Men, unlike most women, work with the given reality that actually exists and modify their behavior accordingly. We don't sit around trying to talk an alternate reality into existence like women do, we adopt our tools to work in "real" reality.

 

To the thread topic, I would call on the phone the next day, reinforce the positive parts of her behavior, whatever you two did, that -you- enjoyed. "I like it that you are, you did XYZ," NEVER EVER THANK A WOMAN FOR SEX, she benefitted every bit as much as you did. Keep it short and sweet and then ask her out a few days later.