:-(

[gonzo415]

Hello everybody,

This is the first thread that I have posted on this site. I will try to keep this as concise as possible. So I was dating this girl for about 1.5 years and we r both 21 years old. We knew each other from middle school and we were already friends. We have had our ups and downs but mainly a lot of positive memories. When we started dating we were basically "friends with benefits." Next thing we knew we ended really liking each other so we started a relationship, which at first seemed completely out of our radar. Apparently not too long ago I disrespected her through text msgs. What had happened was that a long time ago she caught me talking to other girls on facebook, and hence I wasnt cheating on her but I knew it was disrespectful. I deleted my facebook acct and apologized, she forgave me and we moved on. But not too long ago I felt like reactivating my acct but I took off all of my info (including my relationship status). I signed back on to see what she has been doing on her facebook. I noticed she also took off her relationship status. I got mad and overreacted and started to basically disrespect her through texts, without even asking her why she did that. She got really upset and cut off contact for about a week. After that things got real sketchy and she became a bit distant. She is very emotional and sensitive and I definitely hurt her. Next thing I knew I went to visit her at her job and she straight up dumped me. She said that she really dislikes how aggressive i get when im mad and that she does not feel the same for me. I was crushed. Like a fool, I insisted that she would give me a 2nd chance, which I shouldnt have done! She basically denied it... But she stated that she was confused and that she really needed her space and focus on herself. What happened is that her uncle was murdered and it really got to her. Ever since then we stopped having sex and she became distant. She states that that is one of the reasons why she does not feel like she should be in a relationship right now. Another issue is that my mom was recently diagnosed with cancer (leukemia) and its been very hard for me. My ex has supported me so much through this and she left me at a time when I truly need her support. She mentioned that she still wants to give me moral support and that she will still be there for me. But, she wants me to give her her space. I asked her if she believes that our spark can become alive again by giving her space and she states that she hopes too and wants too but her heart just doesn't feel the same romantic/intimate love for me. I am really confused and hurt. BUT WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD BE BEST IN THIS SITUATION? IS IT WORTHY TO WAIT FOR HER? I truly love her and i can't bare letting go of her. any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated..

[Million.to.1]

Welcome Gonzo. Nice to have you here.

 

This must be a confusing time for you as it is for many of us here dealing with break-ups. There is plenty of great advice to be read in these pages.

 

From what you have said in your story, it's sounds as though your GF has already checked out.

You need to give her the space now that she is asking for. To me it sounds like she wants to break-up but doesn't want to hurt you in a time when she knows you need support. But she also can't really give you the kind of support you want from her anymore.

 

This is going to be hard but you need to give her the space she has asked for. Don't wait for her, don't contact her.

See your friends get stuck into work.. Post here and read about ways to get through this and get over her and move on with your life.

 

You are young. Use this time to reflect on the relationship and how you want to do things differently next time. Learn from your mistakes, but don't blame yourself for the relationship ending. It takes 2, always.

 

There is plenty of support here, so stick around.