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When good people have affairs


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I apologize for the t/j FF. I can't help but express my frustration at reading your views SMO, seeing that you are intelligent and able to out reason some of us but you are still in a bind. Don't respond if it's too personal.

 

I tried to avoid the threadjack by creating a new thread. You asked some good questions so I took a considerable amount of time answering them, in detail. There is probably some formula for the relationship between the amount of time spent on a reply and the probability the mods will delete the thread. DOH!!

 

So... I am going to go with the short answer.

 

Why are you doing this to yourself? That's the question.

 

Because it's not all about me.

 

 

I just thought I'd tell you what I think. I'm a grey thinker for sure but this looks clear to me. Why is it not so clear to you?

 

I do see all the facets of this. Over the past few years, especially the past two, I have made choices, looked at things, made a different choice... it's all very different now from what it was two years ago. It will be different again. Different choices.

 

The choices I have made as this has progressed - in each case, seemed the best choice at the time.

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Your thread isn't there for sure. Hmmm....I wonder how that works.

 

It's not all about you true. But it shouldn't be all about her either. There must exist a balance in which you are happy. The fact that this whole thing stresses you and you're here means that you're unhappy.

 

Here's the thing: Good people make some really bad choices sometimes thinking that they are doing the right thing. There are plenty of reasons for that. But many times making the right decision for yourself makes you a better person in your own eyes and in those of the people that know and love you. Anyway, try starting a thread again and we can discuss it there.

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IDK about anyone else, but my suspicions are raised when someone says, about the BS, "She has nowhere to go, so I stay with her," then turns around and says "She's is gone for a week at a time" and "She was here for almost two weeks, and I asked her why she's been around so long, so she left again." Totally contradictory. OBVIOUSLY she has somewhere to go. :D

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IDK about anyone else, but my suspicions are raised when someone says, about the BS, "She has nowhere to go, so I stay with her," then turns around and says "She's is gone for a week at a time" and "She was here for almost two weeks, and I asked her why she's been around so long, so she left again." Totally contradictory. OBVIOUSLY she has somewhere to go. :D

 

It's as simple as the difference between somewhere to stay temporarily and somewhere to stay permanently. She isn't going off to stay in her other apartment - she's staying with other people. She is a miserable person to be around. I imagine she stays there until she's worn out her welcome.

 

On top of that, there are other considerations which eliminate them as permanent. In once case, his house is for sale and he's moving to another state as soon as it sells. She has no desire to move there.

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Wow. And they accuse people here and elsewhere of being hateful. :eek:

 

Hateful? I'd be willing to bet if most anyone else lived with her, they might have strangled her by now. If the worst thing I ever do to her is ask her to get away from me for a while, it's only due to massive amounts of patience and restraint.

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The fact that this whole thing stresses you and you're here means that you're unhappy.

 

It stresses me sometimes, but, that I face challenges and deal with making choices and decisions doesn't mean I'm unhappy. I have a lot of good things in my life. Overall, I'm still a happy guy. ;)

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It stresses me sometimes, but, that I face challenges and deal with making choices and decisions doesn't mean I'm unhappy. I have a lot of good things in my life. Overall, I'm still a happy guy. ;)

 

I'm glad:).

 

See this is how someone in an A can be "good" but doing "bad" things. I think that's what's perplexing everybody. I know someone just like that and knowing his situation very well, I'm quite unsure whether he is doing th "right" thing or not.

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