saka3000 Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 [FONT=Times New Roman]My wife left me here in California and moved to Arizona with my kids after we got into an argument about her brother moving in with us. He asked to stay with us for a few days while waiting for his pay-check to get his own place, and while doing so, he kept borrowing money from me for gas, when he got his check he disappeared for a few days, and then came back broke. When I brought my concerns to her attention, she threatened to move away with the kids if I kicked her brother out! A couple of days later, I got angry about that threat, more so because brother started missing days of work and complaining about his place of work. She was still adamant about moving, I told her that if that was what she wanted to do to go ahead...not knowing she would move out of state. She moved out and left me with this guy! She's been gone for over a month now and she says she doesn’t know if she wants to come back, still mad and hurt over everything and anything I have done to her over the 13years of our marriage. She is residing with her sister. A few days after she got to AZ she found out that her brother had temporarily lived with her 23year old daughter and boyfriend (my step daughter) and done the same thing to them and he got kicked out. She then asked for me to kick him out since he was up to no good. I told her that I would do that; I would let her kick her own brother out since we are both on the lease of this home. He got his last paycheck and disappeared without me having to ask him to leave and never paid me back the moneys that I owed him. My wife and I discussed reserving plane tickets for future date for them to return home, but flaked twice when the time came to do so. She says she needs time to deal with her hurt and pain that I have caused her over the years, she says she doesn’t love me and hasn’t for a wile. I am trying to apply the "No contact strategy" but it is hard, I am emotionally torn apart!!!! Where do I go from here? I have a 3bedroom home on 2.5acres living by myself and struggling to pay the bills, we are self employed and she is my prater, it is getting overwhelming without her participation. Wheat should I do? I am trying the ‘No Contact’ suggestion, and I am very, very depressed !!!!! I don’t know that it really works!!![/FONT] Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Your W has you wrapped around her pinky and she knows it. She's playing games with you. You need to "Man Up", and call her bluff. Stand up for yourself dude. She needs to see you are through playing games, and you mean business. Contact an Attorney and inquire about filing for D under abandonment, and filing for full custody of your kids. Don't tell her you're doing this, just do it. Her getting served D papers along with a court order to reliquish custody of your children will wake her up. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 This may sound like a dumb question, but I really don't know the answer. Isn't it considered kidnapping when one parent takes the kids away from the other without any kind of custody settlement or that parent's permission? Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 (edited) She is playing dirty. She has no right to deny you access to your children. Tell her that if she does not love you anymore and needs to think any longer about coming back, then maybe it is time for you to move on and find someone that does loves you while you still can. Tell her that you are not happy either and that if she does not want to try to work things out then so be it because you cannot do it alone. Right now the children and her are considered residences of your state. The longer you wait the more that becomes not true, so you must act now. Tell her that if she does not come back immediately that you will file for D so that a fair child custody arrangement can be worked out. If this does not get her to come back, then you have already had lost her, with the only difference being that now you know. Edited October 21, 2011 by Try Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 My wife left me here in California and moved to Arizona with my kids after we got into an argument about her brother moving in with us. nothing pisses me off more than women taking a man's kids away from him. and thing is, she took their father away from them too. some fekking mother she is. I would get a good lawyer and try to use this situation to get custody. too bad the laws aren't set that the person that wants to leave the state doesn't get to take the kids with them. But since when do the courts give a rats ass about what is right, or good for the kids? Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 nothing pisses me off more than women taking a man's kids away from him. Thought it was infidelity Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Thought it was infidelity nothing to add to the discussion I see. but to answer your irrelevant lame attempt at whatever, there are alot of things that piss me off the most. I can lump them all together if I like. Link to post Share on other sites
Teslacoil Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 I can tell you that you're not going to find any easy solutions on this forum or anywhere else. This doesn't have anything to do with your wife's brother. The situation with your brother-in-law was obviously simply the tipping point for what your wife already considered to be a failing marriage. We have no information to judge what the problems in your 13 year marriage are based on that. For "next steps" I would suggest perhaps not having her move back home right away, she doesn't seem ready for that. Perhaps instead you could convince her to at least move back to California. Maybe you could get an apartment and move out of the house, and allow her and the kids to come home. Then she will feel safer and more secure. I know you want me to tell you how to get her to move back home with you... but she just doesn't sound ready for that. Once she is back in the same state as you are, you can begin some very serious marriage counseling, and perhaps individual therapy for you both to work out your problems. In fact, you may want to start seeing a counselor 1on1 now to get better advice. If your wife hears that you're in counseling trying to save your marriage, she may be more inclined to return. Link to post Share on other sites
Shiloh 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 [FONT=Times New Roman]My wife left me here in California and moved to Arizona with my kids after we got into an argument about her brother moving in with us. He asked to stay with us for a few days while waiting for his pay-check to get his own place, and while doing so, he kept borrowing money from me for gas, when he got his check he disappeared for a few days, and then came back broke. When I brought my concerns to her attention, she threatened to move away with the kids if I kicked her brother out! A couple of days later, I got angry about that threat, more so because brother started missing days of work and complaining about his place of work. She was still adamant about moving, I told her that if that was what she wanted to do to go ahead...not knowing she would move out of state. She moved out and left me with this guy! She's been gone for over a month now and she says she doesn’t know if she wants to come back, still mad and hurt over everything and anything I have done to her over the 13years of our marriage. She is residing with her sister. A few days after she got to AZ she found out that her brother had temporarily lived with her 23year old daughter and boyfriend (my step daughter) and done the same thing to them and he got kicked out. She then asked for me to kick him out since he was up to no good. I told her that I would do that; I would let her kick her own brother out since we are both on the lease of this home. He got his last paycheck and disappeared without me having to ask him to leave and never paid me back the moneys that I owed him. My wife and I discussed reserving plane tickets for future date for them to return home, but flaked twice when the time came to do so. She says she needs time to deal with her hurt and pain that I have caused her over the years, she says she doesn’t love me and hasn’t for a wile. I am trying to apply the "No contact strategy" but it is hard, I am emotionally torn apart!!!! Where do I go from here? I have a 3bedroom home on 2.5acres living by myself and struggling to pay the bills, we are self employed and she is my prater, it is getting overwhelming without her participation. Wheat should I do? I am trying the ‘No Contact’ suggestion, and I am very, very depressed !!!!! I don’t know that it really works!!![/FONT] Talk to an attorney who specializes in family law ASAP to see what your rights with respect to the children are. The attorney should also be able to help you communicate with her, and she will know you mean business when she hears from a third party. Link to post Share on other sites
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