Gentlegirl Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 My god this thread reeks of selfishness. I hear so much out pouring about how much you're hurting now that the A is over but I hear absolutely no sympathy for the lives you destroyed on the other side - especially the BS. It's all just me me me..... Honestly, what did you think was going to happen by intruding in someone else's marraige. It's depressing reading so much self indulgent behaviour with absolutely no regard for the lives that you ****ed up. As long as they were married, you were forcing yourself into a place you shouldn't have been to begin with so it's incredulous that you actually feel you deserve any sympathy when the whole thing collapses. It's like playing in a rickity old house that you know is unstable and then crying about how badly you got hurt when it finally collapses. "Oh, poor me, my life is so screwed up" Really?? What did you lose - a relationship based on lies that you knew deep down was going nowhere. What did the other side lose - their trust in their marraige, their lives, their sanity. OP doesn't deny anything. He had a willing AP so "forcing himself" doesn't seem applicable. Seems he wasn't having the A all by himself you know? Do we know that FC permanently ****ed up anybody's life, or were they ****ed up before he got into the A? Maybe their lives improved because of it. I don't know. Do you? FC is sharing his feelings here. He's not saying his life is screwed up at all. He's saying he felt grief for the loss of somebody who used to be in his life. He is quite realistic about getting on with his own life. This is a site about Affairs. You must know what that means. You will read all kinds of things on here. If it depresses you, then the solution is simple. Don't come here and don't read the threads. Best wishes to you, GG Link to post Share on other sites
Author FightClub Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 (edited) It's interesting you would say that about the thread, I would like to point out the last few replies were written to help Thunderbolt by mentioning what I had gone through when my affair with my exMW ended at the time since she herself is trying to heal and see a different perspective to continue staying away from her exMM. These feelings are not how I feel today and you are more than welcome to read my journey in the other threads I have posted, I did feel much guilt about my part in the affair and my exMW felt equally guilty about having both of us involved. Indifference is the key to understanding things without the emotions to cloud your judgement, I can see that clearly now. Mistakes were made, people got hurt on all sides, all we can do is atone and move ahead without going back to it. -FC Edited October 31, 2011 by FightClub Link to post Share on other sites
Thunderbolt Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 FC, thanks for taking the time to write down some of your thoughts. They all make a lot of sense to me and your insight is very helpful. You said, "Mourn the loss of the fantasy you two shared, not the affair partner, I noticed the less time I spent trying to forget about her the more normal it became to recognize my feelings & memories to help me move past that." This especially makes sense to me and is great advice. I know things will get better with time. I'm so looking forward to reaching a point of indifference. A time when thoughts of him may cross my mind from time to time but no longer have an effect on my emotions. Thanks for rooting for me, I need it Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts