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I finally admitted to myself..I don't think I am relationship material


eatNrM

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Mr Nate! I hereby amend my previous advice. I suggest that we can just be in a long distance non-committed non-relationship! There, problem solved. ;)

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Thanks Carhill...

 

I guess it doesn't matter what his age is... might make it tough for the OP to get good advice though. He seems to be shooting himself in the foot though... oh well.

 

I suspect most people are going to cut him some slack no matter what his age because the OP is fun chatting with :)

 

Ok, it's getting out of hand now haha. I honestly am 23, AL.

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Perhaps someone more wise can explain to me what the benefits are of changing pertinent facts about one's existence and experience on an anonymous internet forum. I just don't get it. None of us here is POTUS. We're just random individuals amongst billions on a planet; a planet which largely doesn't care whether we live or die. Why warp one's circumstances when asking for sincere advice?

 

OP, I know a guy, a personal friend, who's 50 and, to my knowledge, has never had a LTR. I've known him for almost 20 years now. He's good looking, is in church as I type this post, is a white-collar professional and generally has been a pretty good friend. I've seen him with women, but never for more than a month or two. Is he not relationship material? IDK. He is pretty rigid in his habits and standards. For example, on a Saturday night, we'll be having a BBQ and drinking beers at my best friends and he'll politely excuse himself no later than 8pm (this is consistent for years) to go home and get some sleep to get up early for church on Sunday.

 

When I was in my late 30's I had this nagging feeling I wasn't relationship (marriage in my case) material but I kept pressing on anyway. Maybe that was a mistake. I've come to believe we all have our own path and 'relationships' which are healthy for that path. Your path may not be the 'traditional' marriage and two kids path. There's no reason why it has to be. It could be the live in separate homes but love to be together path. It could be the long distance but committed path. Anything is possible.

 

Whatever your path is, prosecute it in the real world. Today. Good luck.

 

Hold up!! I'm not 41! I really am 23 haha. That's why I added the bottom portion at the end, so people wouldn't take it seriously.

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OK, then put your real age in your location space under your member status on the account you choose to proceed with so there's no ambiguity.

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OK, then put your real age in your location space under your member status on the account you choose to proceed with so there's no ambiguity.

 

I had a chance to examine my thread and find out why it would be so confusing. But I realized what I did: I left a disclaimer on a thread that was supposedly a confession... oops.:laugh:

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Mr Nate! I hereby amend my previous advice. I suggest that we can just be in a long distance non-committed non-relationship! There, problem solved. ;)

 

But the sensation of touch is important to me. I can't do that if you're far away :(

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But the sensation of touch is important to me. I can't do that if you're far away :(

 

Me too! But now that you're back to being 23 you're too young for me again anyway! Oh well that was a fun little 5 minute fantasy... :)

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If you find you need to be around others for intellectual or artistic stimulation or non-sexual physical activities (ie, running, biking, etc), then you'll need to find someone who is ok with you being good friends with people of either gender who meet that need for you.

 

This has been my challenge as well. No one person can possibly meet ALL of one's needs. Defining which ones are the most important ones for you can help you find someone who can take that walk of life with you... I envy that about my parents and others who married young and stayed together.

 

I want a person/people to walk through life together.... who can call me on my sh*t... and maybe someday, mop up my dribble when I can't feed myself anymore. Not romantic for some, I know. And not something most 23 yr olds tend to worry about :) I sure know I didn't when I was your age!!

 

Have fun!!

 

 

 

I agree that it depends on what you are looking for. For years, I had relationship trouble because I never found one person to fulfill my needs. However, as I reached my late 20's parts of me faded and others emerged stronger. My adventurous/ crazy side has mellowed a bit and I mostly want someone to share Chinese takeout and a movie with, someone to travel with, and someone to be there for me in those tough moments for support. Maybe someone to build a family with as I get older. None of those things were important to me at the OP's age. I have plenty of friends d\fo such tasks and women to party with. However, as I near 30, I watch my friends pick mates and make them the priority in their life. I wanted someone wanted to make me their priority and vice versa.

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