!!MM say's he might need another year or two!

[jj33]

MM called today saying that he is in a very bad financial situation,and can't possibly go through a divorce now because there is no prenup and he is still struggling to get his company back on its feet after the recession!I do understand what he is saying but to go from telling me that it'll all be over by new years to saying:" hon. you'll have to wait another year or two"??

 

At first i stayed very calm and told him to do whatever he thinks is right and that i trusted his judgement then, i don't know what happened I just lost it and we ended up having a huge fight which ended with him saying:"keep your options open,and see other men during this time if that's what makes you happy"!! but I don't want anyone else I want him! Honestly,that really hurt and I'm not sure what to make of it.

 

Do you think he said that because he cares about me and doesn't want to keep me hanging or is it the complete opposite that he doesn't really give a darn and couldn't care less?

 

Should I suck it up and wait without making a fuss?I would still be in my twenties so maybe I can afford to wait..what do you think?? Your thoughts are appreciated.

 

You have to look at whether you are happy day to day. If you are happy in the relationship and not just hoping and wishing he was single, then maybe you can stick it out. But there is an equal chance he will never leave or he will leave and you wont be together (and of course he wont make the no prenup mistake next time... with you).

 

That being said, any man who says date other people means it. Hes giving you 2 big reasons to get out. I would run like the wind.

[shakti]

I love both your posts HeartOn! So well said. I'm going to read that everyday until I don't need to now. Thank you

[KathyM]

You worship a man who is betraying and lying to the woman he walked down the aisle with; the woman he promised to stay faithful to? You worship and can't live without a man who is living a lie to his wife and to you? You worship a man who is most definitely having sex with his wife while I'm sure he CLAIMS to you he's not? Do you like being sloppy seconds?

 

The thing I just don't get with you women who consciously make the choice (because it IS a choice) to get involved with married men is..........how could do this TO another woman? You are an intentional, selfish and active participant in the ultimate act of betrayal against another woman. I can't even begin to imagine doing to someone what I know would devastate me and break my heart. That's called having a conscience and respecting boundaries. Why do you women who are involved in affairs lack these? Why do you put your own selfish needs ahead of innocent people?

 

Why do you even give the time of day to a man who is married?

 

I'm sorry but I feel no sympathy or compassion for the trials and tribulations of a the man or woman involved with a MW/MM because you made the conscious choice to cross the line and get involved in something you never should have. How can you really expect sympathy? You brought all of this on yourself by knowingly getting involved with someone's LYING SPOUSE.

That was well said. It's foolish to not only get into a relationship with a MM and settle for crumbs from him while he goes home to his wife every night, but it's also foolish to put your life on hold waiting for someone who most likely will never be yours. You really want to wait two more years and then most likely be told he can't go through with it? That's a huge gamble to take, and you're not likely to win in this one. And even if, against all odds, you do "win" him in the end, is that really a prize worth putting your life on hold for? A guy who cheats on his wife? So not worth it. Please have higher expectations for yourself. If he really wanted to be with you, he would leave his wife in short order. He's stringing you along for another two years. You would be foolish to go along with that.