datingSeparatedM Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I moved in with a separated man. He asked me if I wanted to "move in." And I said "Yes." What a huge mistake! I tried to play it cool and told him that I would still be looking for my own place. Not too long after I moved in, I asked him if I could move my computer desk and chair in, because he didn't have one. He kept avoiding the subjects. I also told him that I needed a copy of keys to get in and out of the house. And he said there was only ONE PAIR! WTF?? Then, he asked me today if "I have found a place." I'm mad. Honestly, if he wanted me to leave, he just had to say so. I'm really annoyed with all these hints and etc. Clearly, it's not working. And I told him that I'm moving out tonight. But inside, I wished he could try to keep me. But you know what said, he said "sure," when I told him that I wanted to pack my things and go. I'm also mad at myself about caring and wanting him to want me in his life. I have been feeling confused, unsure, and just wanting to cry, since I started to date him. Am I addicted to pain? Am I into dating unavailable man? Why do I want him more, after he has clearly showed that he didn't want me?? Whatever it is, I need to figure out what my problems are and have a normal relationship. I tried those "normal" ones before, but no sparks. Ugh!
wannabdone Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I moved in with a separated man. He asked me if I wanted to "move in." And I said "Yes." What a huge mistake! I tried to play it cool and told him that I would still be looking for my own place. Not too long after I moved in, I asked him if I could move my computer desk and chair in, because he didn't have one. He kept avoiding the subjects. I also told him that I needed a copy of keys to get in and out of the house. And he said there was only ONE PAIR! WTF?? Then, he asked me today if "I have found a place." I'm mad. Honestly, if he wanted me to leave, he just had to say so. I'm really annoyed with all these hints and etc. Clearly, it's not working. And I told him that I'm moving out tonight. But inside, I wished he could try to keep me. But you know what said, he said "sure," when I told him that I wanted to pack my things and go. I'm also mad at myself about caring and wanting him to want me in his life. I have been feeling confused, unsure, and just wanting to cry, since I started to date him. Am I addicted to pain? Am I into dating unavailable man? Why do I want him more, after he has clearly showed that he didn't want me?? Whatever it is, I need to figure out what my problems are and have a normal relationship. I tried those "normal" ones before, but no sparks. Ugh! Simple "push/pull" physc. When someone pulls, its our natural instinct to push. We want more, as they want less. I know how hard it is when someone you love doesn't "fight" for you. As much as you don't know this, you will be in a better place w/o him!!!
Author datingSeparatedM Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 Thank you so much wannabdone for the kind words! I appreciate them so much! I'm staying late in my office, alone and feeling horrible. But this forum and the people here make me feel a lot better
wannabdone Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Thank you so much wannabdone for the kind words! I appreciate them so much! I'm staying late in my office, alone and feeling horrible. But this forum and the people here make me feel a lot better You will be okay. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but you will be. You deserve so much better. And IMO....this guy sounds like a total horses ass. Just sayin....
Author datingSeparatedM Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 total horses ass -
country_gurl Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 How long did were you in your relationship before he asked you to move in? Did you intentionally give up your previous residence just to move in with him or were you already in the process of looking for a place to live at the time he asked you? How long has he been separated for?
Author datingSeparatedM Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 Good questions: 1. I have been dating him for a few months. 2. I gave up my place because his place is closer to work and is nicer. But I guess that backfired bad! 3. He has been separated for 2 years.
wannabdone Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Good questions: 1. I have been dating him for a few months. 2. I gave up my place because his place is closer to work and is nicer. But I guess that backfired bad! 3. He has been separated for 2 years. Why in gods green earth has he been seperated for two years????
whichwayisup Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Never move in with someone only after a few months. You don't really know him, or anybody in such a short period of time..Living together ruins the 'dating' and getting to know eachother process. It was too soon, sounds like he freaked out and didn't think things through. Horses ass is right. How could he ask you to move in with him and not give you a set of keys? That makes absolutely no sense.
Author datingSeparatedM Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 Honestly, now I'm having some perspectives (by borrowing wisdoms from people here) that I can see that he's not serious about leaving her. He told me that he had the best divorce attorney in town. Then, when I asked him that I needed to see the separation papers. He said they haven't been filed.
country_gurl Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 So it doesn't really sound like you've been together for all that long. You wrote: I have been feeling confused, unsure, and just wanting to cry, since I started to date him. So are you saying that you've not felt good/secure with things from the very start? So how long have you been living with him at this point? I'm not necessarily going to jump on the "he's a horse's a##" bandwagon because I think there's a lot of missing info. Maybe there were red flags there right from the beginning such that you shouldn't have moved in with him to begin with? Sometimes living together, particularly if it occurs much too soon in a relationship, it can be a disaster. I imagine it would likely be difficult to realize after asking someone to move in with you that it's not working out, and feeling really torn about then asking them to leave. That's gotta be a tough spot to be in. Some people unfortunately just aren't very direct. Curious why you would get involved with a man who's merely separated but not actually divorced? Wouldn't that in itself signify a guy who's still got a lot of unresolved baggage to deal with?
whichwayisup Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Honestly, now I'm having some perspectives (by borrowing wisdoms from people here) that I can see that he's not serious about leaving her. He told me that he had the best divorce attorney in town. Then, when I asked him that I needed to see the separation papers. He said they haven't been filed. After such a short period of time being with him (2 months or so), don't even bother. You haven't invested tons into him. He's not worth it.. I know it hurts and all but better now than another year down the road when you're more attached to him. So, they've been living apart for 2 years? Or just separated for 2 years?
Author datingSeparatedM Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 country_gurl, if I have been thinking with my brain, I wouldn't have dated or moved in with him. I'm crazy about him. He's funny, handsome, rich, and says he loves me. But now, I'm starting to see that he doesn't really love me or care for me. You don't do those things to someone you care about. It's just all about sex, from his perspectives. whichwayisup, he got his own place and moved out 2 years ago. I'm not sure the difference between living apart and separated, since he never filed the papers.
Author datingSeparatedM Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 Please don't judge, I have lived with him for one day. I moved it last night. Now, I'm moving out tonight. I didn't mention it in my original post, because it's so embarrasing that things fell apart so fast!
country_gurl Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 To the OP. I read your posting history here and in doing so, your situation seemed very 'familiar' to me. I see you posted recently asking about moving in with a man who's "rich and powerful"...and one post about you asking for proof of this guy being separated. It was very much familiar to the following thread by this person............who we all advised that the guy was playing you......he claimed he couldn't provide you with papers to prove he'd filed for a divorce (because a lot of things weren't adding up with him) and he told you a bold-faced lie about how filing for a separation isn't required in the state of California. To think that you proceeded to move in with him regardless....I think personally that you're really just desperate for a sugar-daddy such that you don't even care that this guy is clearly married and lying to you, has no intention of divorcing his wife and likely hasn't been "away on business" at all. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t296042/
country_gurl Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 He's funny, handsome, rich So you're just looking for a rich guy hey? Doesn't matter that he's a compulsive liar, still very much MARRIED (let me guess, his wife doesn't live in the same state), bla bla bla. I posted a link to your other thread, when you were using a different username.........and it seems your focus all along has been to bag yourself a rich guy, regardless of his lies, narcissism and deceit. Don't know how we can help you. Maybe try one of those sugar-daddy websites? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3637386#post3637386
Author datingSeparatedM Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 country_gurl, getting a sugar daddy is not my intention. I do like successful men. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. If I'm not attracted to the guy, I won't date him. Chemistry is the most important thing. Success is an added bonus.
Author datingSeparatedM Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 His wife lives in the same city. And he dates me openly. Although I have doubts about his ever divorcing her, I don't think he's hiding the fact that he's dating me.
country_gurl Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 His wife lives in the same city. And he dates me openly. Although I have doubts about his ever divorcing her, I don't think he's hiding the fact that he's dating me. So are you actually going to deny that you previously (recently) posted here as "ilovehim77" : http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t296042/ .....and that despite everything we told you and everything you learned in that thread (that he'd lied to you about having even filed for a separation) you still moved in with him?
Emme Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I also told him that I needed a copy of keys to get in and out of the house. And he said there was only ONE PAIR! WTF?? Run and don't look back. He is probably still hurting from his marriage and that anger is going to be directed at you. You don't need that in your life whether you like him or not. Its not a healthy relationship if those are the responses your getting. RUN! ...I think you moved into his f*ck pad ... your cramping his style.
country_gurl Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Here was your original post with your other username: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t296042/ How can you really expect to get proper/helpful advise when you post with different usernames and omit pertinent info? What a waste of time for those reading/responding.
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