totally devestated and demoralised, gave up

[dumpedandsore]

Those who read my story know that im totally unlucky, a biggest failure in love. None of my so-called r/s lasted for a year, im always used by guys as a temporary/interim, byproduct gf and completely dumped when they find someone they truly like.

 

While i try to have a serious and decent r/s, other guys just write me off at first sight. They said things like they have no attraction to me, they have female friends who are prettier, I am not their type, and they would never choose me. Before I could confess my liking to them or rather know each other better, they make it known to me that they would never like/consider me. In short, it was a complete instant rejection based purely on my looks or the lack of it. Some even go to the extreme of wanting to introduce their single male friends to me (i take it as subtle rejection) when when i didnt show/or tell them on my part, that i like/interested in them. I m like a human ball, kicked everywhere, viewed by men as of low value and lousy, rejected quality, like a rejected, spoilt good.

 

I can never have a decent r/s. After the recent break-up (when i was used and dumped without a word), i hit rock bottom once again. I guess i never recovered from the constant predicament of being rejected by guys (never the chosen one) or used/dumped cruelly by guys.

 

I look at myself as a decent person. I wonder why guys can never consider dating/liking me seriously? Why must it be a instant rejection and they made it so clear to me right from the start?

 

Noone cares about my feelings. I hate how i look, yet i can't change it. These days, i locked myself in the room, sleep most of the time. I quitted my job and dont even have the mood to return to work or step out of my home. I guess i am not disappointed in my recent break-up but rather why im always rejected/or seem so objectionable to guys.. Im devestated about my love life..

 

In the past, i would pick myself up..and continue to meet from guys from the net. BUt now..? I am totally demoralised and devestated. I guess someone like me (with my looks) can never get true love. I have too many repeated strings of failures/rejections to prove my point.

 

I have noone to talk to. The psychiatrist appointment is a month from now. I tried applying law of attraction to improve my love life but to no avail. I pray to god for progress in my life, especially love life, but it turns out the same way everytime. Used, dumped, rejected completely , then cut off.. and those guys never spare any thoughts for my feelings..they just disappear on me.. They used me and view me like a joke, stung me along, then cut me off completely, then ran away (as if im a ghost) as if fearful that i will continue to like/contact them

 

I think its either im cursed in my love life, or im simply too unattractive to make a guy like me or cherish me.. it has to be that...

 

what should i do? The misery is killing me..it has been ongoing for 7 years with no improvement at all.

 

List of measures /things I have done to improve my love life (with no results):

(1) Went for Lasik

(2) Joined a gym, look slimmer

(3) Went for facial treatment

(4) Had a hair cut

(5) change my dressing

(6) Read and watched the secret (law of attraction) at least 3 times, practised its techniques for a couple of months

(7) read self-improvement books on finding confidence and recovery

(8) reading books on attracting and communicating with the opposite sex or anyone in general

(9) Read and pray to god for a better love life/future

(10) Subscription to dating sites, met at least 40 men in the past 7 years since 2004 ( outcome is always either im rejected instantly, or guys used me then dumped me and rejected me totally, as if our r/s was just a joke and it was just a game, and they revealed their intentions/decisions later) - im no longer dating or meeting men from the net, too tired

(11) attended social (speed) dating events: heard men commenting that i look worse of the lot, all the eligible single men approached any other girl in the event, except me. Many are attached shortly from the event, a few are now married.. (happily i hope from their whirlwind romance)

 

 

after all these measures, how can i not be devestated? Am i so unattractive that no guy can ever truly like/consider dating me? i feel like a garbage

Edited August 29, 2011 by dumpedandsore

[smudge21]

Really sorry to read what you're going through right now. You've clearly met some real losers and they've totally destroyed your pride and self esteem. You need to get that back before you can even consider getting back into dating, otherwise you'll just be showing everyone only a shadow of your real self. Put it another way, you're not happy with the way you are right now, so how do you expect anyone else to be?

 

Having a relationship should enhance our lives, but they are not the total of our lives. You are much more than the people who love you. You're a combination of everything that makes you, you. I always like the word 'mojo' when trying to get this idea across, and it's clear your mojo is gone right now. Mine's only just coming back, a bit too slowly for my liking. You need to do whatever it takes to get yours back and I don't think jumping into the dating game is the right way - you're too focused on it right now and expecting so many things, yet every negative is just being enhanced by your current feelings and therefore is hurting much more than it should.

 

We all get hurt when we allow ourselves to love, but clearly you are suffering more than most right now. You're really trying your best to do what you think is best for others, how about just doing what is best for you? The real you is still there, hidden away, shielded by these current set backs and the fact you've been treated poorly. You can get back to where you were, but it will take hard work and time. Never feel like giving up as no matter how low we feel, we have to accept and believe that there is good times coming.

 

You'll get some great advice on here, but it's still totally down to you on how you go about making yourself feel better and getting that mojo back. It will happen one day, but I know right now that's so hard to believe. Just try to remember that despite how low you feel right now, there are others out there, many here, that have gone through similar and come out the other end. Keep posting and don't give up.

[dumpedandsore]

Really sorry to read what you're going through right now. You've clearly met some real losers and they've totally destroyed your pride and self esteem. You need to get that back before you can even consider getting back into dating, otherwise you'll just be showing everyone only a shadow of your real self. Put it another way, you're not happy with the way you are right now, so how do you expect anyone else to be?

 

Having a relationship should enhance our lives, but they are not the total of our lives. You are much more than the people who love you. You're a combination of everything that makes you, you. I always like the word 'mojo' when trying to get this idea across, and it's clear your mojo is gone right now. Mine's only just coming back, a bit too slowly for my liking. You need to do whatever it takes to get yours back and I don't think jumping into the dating game is the right way - you're too focused on it right now and expecting so many things, yet every negative is just being enhanced by your current feelings and therefore is hurting much more than it should.

 

We all get hurt when we allow ourselves to love, but clearly you are suffering more than most right now. You're really trying your best to do what you think is best for others, how about just doing what is best for you? The real you is still there, hidden away, shielded by these current set backs and the fact you've been treated poorly. You can get back to where you were, but it will take hard work and time. Never feel like giving up as no matter how low we feel, we have to accept and believe that there is good times coming.

 

You'll get some great advice on here, but it's still totally down to you on how you go about making yourself feel better and getting that mojo back. It will happen one day, but I know right now that's so hard to believe. Just try to remember that despite how low you feel right now, there are others out there, many here, that have gone through similar and come out the other end. Keep posting and don't give up.

 

 

thanks smudge21, you always encourage me in my multiple ranting posts

those guys always said to me, you are nothing, no looks and character..and said the other ladies are so much better prettier than me and i can't hold a candle to them. in short, to guys, im **** while the other girls are rare gems..hence its justifiable for them to outrightly reject me

how hurtful

[antinko]

List of measures /things I have done to improve my love life (with no results):

(1) Went for Lasik

(2) Joined a gym, look slimmer

(3) Went for facial treatment

(4) Had a hair cut

(5) change my dressing

(6) Read and watched the secret (law of attraction) at least 3 times, practised its techniques for a couple of months

(7) read self-improvement books on finding confidence and recovery

(8) reading books on attracting and communicating with the opposite sex or anyone in general

(9) Read and pray to god for a better love life/future

(10) Subscription to dating sites, met at least 40 men in the past 7 years since 2000 ( outcome is always either im rejected instantly, or guys used me then dumped me and rejected me totally, as if our r/s was just a joke and it was just a game, and they revealed their intentions/decisions later) - im no longer dating or meeting men from the net, too tired

(11) attended social (speed) dating events: heard men commenting that i look worse of the lot, all the eligible single men approached any other girl in the event, except me. Many are attached shortly from the event, a few are now married.. (happily i hope from their whirlwind romance)

 

 

after all these measures, how can i not be devestated?

 

My thoughts:

 

1. Unsure what Lasik is but, whatever it is, if it worked, cool.

 

2. You should go to the gym to make you feel better, not make you look better for someone else.

 

I love the gym but I do find it difficult to maintain my motivation sometimes, but I keep going because I know I'm doing it for myself. Attracting others with a nice trim body is just a bonus.

 

Keep at it. Regardless of anything else, the long term health benefits are the best pay off.

 

3. Unsure what type of facial treatment you went for, but it's always a good idea to look after yourself. People are attracted to someone who, again, looks after themself. Do not do it for other people!

 

4. Having your hair cut is always a good thing. Maintain it for you.

 

5. Fashion is important but it's mostly important that you wear what you like and what you know compliments you. Dress to impress...yourself.

 

6. Bah. Put the attraction books down! Avoid anything which claims there is a 'system' to attraction because it's largely a big pile of...

 

Yes, they give some general tips which work like not being a tool and to be confident etc. but I'd never use one. I can also say, as a bloke, that many of the tips I've seen aimed at women on how to attract men are simply laughable.

 

Just be you. Be confident in you and be positive.

 

7. Self improvement books are good but read them with a critical eye. Adopt what works for you and don't stress about anything which doesn't fit well with your character.

 

8. See point 6.

 

9. God will not help you find love; only you can achieve this.

 

10. Online dating is a strange one and I've done it myself. Yes, it can be demoralizing, but you've got to promise yourself to go into it with zero expectations.

 

I found one special person online (my ex) and we formed a relationship because neither of us were particularly bothered about online dating and had considered cancelling our accounts. I truly believe it was this lack of giving much of a damn which enabled our success.

 

I think it's quite easy to come across as needy and desperate online. It's counter intuitive, but try treating the online medium as a secondary means of dating, don't care about it too much and maybe you'll be more successful.

 

Also, the men you met were clearly unsuitable for you so don't let the fact they rejected you hurt you. I'm willing to bet they won't find what they want particularly easily, if at all.

 

11. Speed dating? Never tried it but I don't particularly give it much credit.

 

Pay no heed to superficial comments men make - honestly.

 

 

In conclusion, I see your main areas to think about are the following:

 

- You're not working on you for you. You're efforts so far have been carried out in order to attract others. This is usually quite transparent and won't gain you respect.

 

- I think you're putting too much emphasis on what others think of you. Don't listen to other people's superficial views of you because they're just showing their insecurities by being so overtly petty.

 

- Keep taking the positive actions like looking after yourself, going to the gym etc. You'll reap the benefits eventually providing that you do them for you and no one else.

[smudge21]

thanks smudge21, you always encourage me in my multiple ranting posts

those guys always said to me, you are nothing, no looks and character..and said the other ladies are so much better prettier than me and i can't hold a candle to them. in short, to guys, im **** while the other girls are rare gems..hence its justifiable for them to outrightly reject me

how hurtful

 

Without being too personal, how many guys are we talking here? If it's less than 6.7 million, then you're okay as that's still only 1% of the population.

 

You can't base your entire outlook on life on the viewpoints on a few guys who simply changed their minds or clearly had no minds to begin with. Besides, who says they haven't said the same to other girls throughout their lives, and continue to do so. The problem may be all theirs and not yours.

 

Screw them and their opinions. No one's perfect and to say stuff like that to anyone demeans them more than anything.

[WhoMI]

I can't imagine what you went through these years but I'm sure you're a strong person to have gotten through it. Don't let those "guys" define who you are. I agree with wat smudge21 said "Having a relationship should enhance our lives, but they are not the total of our lives. You are much more than the people who love you".

 

Focus on loving yourself first & I'm sure there're a lot to love. U know looks don't last forever but personality does. Take your time to heal & whenever u wanna vent or just someone to listen to, we are here.

 

Please take care of yourself.

[dumpedandsore]

Without being too personal, how many guys are we talking here? If it's less than 6.7 million, then you're okay as that's still only 1% of the population.

 

You can't base your entire outlook on life on the viewpoints on a few guys who simply changed their minds or clearly had no minds to begin with. Besides, who says they haven't said the same to other girls throughout their lives, and continue to do so. The problem may be all theirs and not yours.

 

Screw them and their opinions. No one's perfect and to say stuff like that to anyone demeans them more than anything.

 

they went on to marry/date other girls they met/knew at the same dating sites/channel/event.

 

the marriage/union happened within a couple of months. i look at their gf/spouses, honestly, they dont look like a million dollars to me, they look at most average..

but these guys cherished them and find them pretty while im viewed like trash

[antinko]

they went on to marry/date other girls they met/knew at the same dating sites/channel/event.

 

the marriage/union happened within a couple of months. i look at their gf/spouses, honestly, they dont look like a million dollars to me, they look at most average..

but these guys cherished them and find them pretty while im viewed like trash

 

The main difference will likely be that you don't seem to have a high opinion of yourself, but I bet they do.

 

Have you thought about your good points? You will have many, I can assure you.

[dumpedandsore]

they went on to marry/date other girls they met/knew at the same dating sites/channel/event.

 

the marriage/union happened within a couple of months. i look at their gf/spouses, honestly, they dont look like a million dollars to me, they look at most average..

but these guys cherished them and find them pretty while im viewed like trash

 

 

if only i know better or look the type they fancy, i dont have to go through the pain for so many years and ongoing.

[WhoMI]

if only i know better or look the type they fancy, i dont have to go through the pain for so many years and ongoing.

 

Look at it this way those "guys" are not the type u fancy. We all want and deserve someone that will love who we really are not what we look like. If a relationship is based solely on looks, it won't last long b/c the aging process is inevitable.

[TrueColors]

they went on to marry/date other girls they met/knew at the same dating sites/channel/event.

 

the marriage/union happened within a couple of months. i look at their gf/spouses, honestly, they dont look like a million dollars to me, they look at most average..

but these guys cherished them and find them pretty while im viewed like trash

 

So, these guys only knew their SO's for a few months?? Sounds like they married them during the Honeymoon Period.

 

But you do know that looks aren't everything. there has to be a substance; a vibe as well.

 

What I would add to your impressive list is therapy. Talking to a professional about your self-esteem issues might help you break this pattern of self-defeat you have.

 

I, too get down with not having perspective offers. But I'm also adamant at not making a man the sole purpose of my existance. Once you are truly happy with yourself and your life, you'll start to view the world in a different, more positive way.

Edited August 29, 2011 by TrueColors

[LelouchIsZero]

What was in the attraction books?

 

The only things that I can imagine, which would have an impact would be: Your confidence, how happy you are & your ability to maintain a conversation.

[dumpedandsore]

Nah, most of the reasons given by the guys are that i dont appeal to them physically....

If it were someone they are attached, I

doubt they will ever give up on the giril ntil they are diumped... guess I tried ,everything

[dumpedandsore]

I just realised my ex after realising im following him on fb, first set it to private acct then now he shut it off completely. Why must he do this to me

[GgirlBgirl]

Don't give up. The right person for you will appreciate you outside and inside. I'm actually bought a coupon for speed dating and am currently listening to The Game audio book so I don't fall for pick-up artist tricks (they seem to frequent speed dating) because I think I don't want to be blinded by male attention again and let that rule my emotions. I think you are moving forward and that's good and positive. The ex isn't worth your time.

 

We love them with everything we are and then it's like we get punished by our emotions when the break-up happens. I will be okay at least that's what I'm telling myself. It's 5 days of NC for me right now. Every time I miss him, I think of a time that he hurt me and made me cry. Truthfully, I don't miss the times he made me cry.

[2011]

Dumpedandsore

 

It sounds like you have a low opinion of yourself, how can you be trash, who says you are? You also sound like you have no boundaries. If it is any conscillation my dating life has been nothing to write home about either and yeah it has been difficult, I was rejected by a girl I thought was the one, I thought after all these years of no dates, being rejected time and time again and literally laughed at by girls for being so wussy, that I met this girl who was on the same level as me we got on great and things seemed to be going in the right direction then bam - all over and she basically tore me a new ******* for trying to get back with her. It was the lowest i'd ever been in my life and am only coming out of it now - 8 months later!

 

So look we all have our story to tell, and do not have every other person on pedestals like their dating life is wonderful, look at the stories on here and other sites lol and no that a lot of people lie and put on fronts about how wonderful their life is with dating etc. Keep your ship steady and true and know that whatever waves come along you will point straight into them and head right on over.

 

2011

[dumpedandsore]

Dumpedandsore

 

It sounds like you have a low opinion of yourself, how can you be trash, who says you are? You also sound like you have no boundaries. If it is any conscillation my dating life has been nothing to write home about either and yeah it has been difficult, I was rejected by a girl I thought was the one, I thought after all these years of no dates, being rejected time and time again and literally laughed at by girls for being so wussy, that I met this girl who was on the same level as me we got on great and things seemed to be going in the right direction then bam - all over and she basically tore me a new ******* for trying to get back with her. It was the lowest i'd ever been in my life and am only coming out of it now - 8 months later!

 

So look we all have our story to tell, and do not have every other person on pedestals like their dating life is wonderful, look at the stories on here and other sites lol and no that a lot of people lie and put on fronts about how wonderful their life is with dating etc. Keep your ship steady and true and know that whatever waves come along you will point straight into them and head right on over.

 

2011

 

 

I know. I just don't understand how could these guys ( a few of them) "pretended" to like me, stung me along, then played me out, dumped me on the pretext that they could never love and accept me again, and cut me off completely.

 

So all the wooing and dating days were just plain lies? or i was taken by them as a joke? a time filler? or an ego booster? why played with my heart, then dumped me and told me they could never accept and love me? As if i was the one who was hallucinating about our r/s, i was the one who mistaken their feelings/actions as love towards me? Why am i punished for their mistakes?

 

I am a respectable person, yet im treated by these so-called ex bf as whore, prostitute, fling, no strings attached person. After dumping me, they jus cut me off to avoid me "chasing" after them? Why must i pay for their misplaced feelings and mistakes? They wanted to continue to be on good terms/contact with their ex on msn, fb, in person, while im cut off? Dont i deserve some decency, care and respect?

 

Can someone tell me? why must they played with my feelings, then dumped me as if im the worst thing that they could never imagine falling in love/liking me? Why must they deceived me , then make me feel so bad about myself with their actions?

 

was everything just a joke? Because i wasnt deemed attractive, so they could played me out, then dropped me like im the most objectionable and detestable item on earth? why lure me into a romantic r/s then dumped me by saying it is for my own good?

[dumpedandsore]

how they treat me and treat other girls is totally miles apart?

 

They treat them seriously and with decency and care, while im snubbed and taken for a ride, then left to live in desperation and shame for continuing to carry feelings for them

[dumpedandsore]

how they treat me and treat other girls is totally miles apart?

 

They treat them seriously and with decency and care, while im snubbed and taken for a ride, then left to live in desperation and shame for continuing to carry feelings for them

 

 

I am a graduate and a respectable person, just because im not typically attractive (in their opinion), i deserved to be criticised, and treated with disdain? you should have seen how those guys who seen me treated me at the speed dating events..they just commented openly.how i was the ugliest of the lot, gave me the disdain attitude and cold shoulder, looked over me and went over to talk to other girls

 

I vow to improve on my looks. But after all i have done, im still deemed as unattractive, objectable and rejected..

[smudge21]

How they treated you does not make you unattractive, it makes them unattractive.

 

You've simply met some totally a-holes - we all do, I've met girls who've treated me the same way. You cannot judge yourself on what a small few think of you, if you do, they win. Do you want them to win? Do you want them to have that kind of power over you?

 

Get this - I was seeing someone I worked with. Very nice girl, or so I thought. We'd get together at work in secret and then meet afterwards. Things seemed to come to an end slowly and then one day I was working alongside another girl, who was my ex's friend at work. She was emailing my ex back and forth and for fun I took over the conversation just to wind up my ex (oh, we were still on more than off at this time). Pretending to be the friend, I emailed my ex asking about me, to which she replied "she wouldn't touch me with a long pole and thought I was creepy and ugly, always chasing her etc etc..." - reading that just left me cold, had no idea how to respond. Suffice to say things went down hill from there and I discovered a very dark side to this girl. She wasn't as nice as I thought and I wasn't the only person at work she was seeing.

 

The point is, even though I felt low from her comments and at the time they did hurt, the truth was it was her that had the problem. She was just simply a nasty piece of work who treated people the same way - she ended up going back to her boyfriend shortly afterwards knowing she was pregnant to another work colleague. So you cannot assume that you know the full reason why these guys are acting this way towards you. They could simply be jerks who do this all the time, destined to end up being hurt themselves (what goes around comes around).

 

Stop judging yourself through their eyes!

[dumpedandsore]

How they treated you does not make you unattractive, it makes them unattractive.

 

You've simply met some totally a-holes - we all do, I've met girls who've treated me the same way. You cannot judge yourself on what a small few think of you, if you do, they win. Do you want them to win? Do you want them to have that kind of power over you?

 

Get this - I was seeing someone I worked with. Very nice girl, or so I thought. We'd get together at work in secret and then meet afterwards. Things seemed to come to an end slowly and then one day I was working alongside another girl, who was my ex's friend at work. She was emailing my ex back and forth and for fun I took over the conversation just to wind up my ex (oh, we were still on more than off at this time). Pretending to be the friend, I emailed my ex asking about me, to which she replied "she wouldn't touch me with a long pole and thought I was creepy and ugly, always chasing her etc etc..." - reading that just left me cold, had no idea how to respond. Suffice to say things went down hill from there and I discovered a very dark side to this girl. She wasn't as nice as I thought and I wasn't the only person at work she was seeing.

 

The point is, even though I felt low from her comments and at the time they did hurt, the truth was it was her that had the problem. She was just simply a nasty piece of work who treated people the same way - she ended up going back to her boyfriend shortly afterwards knowing she was pregnant to another work colleague. So you cannot assume that you know the full reason why these guys are acting this way towards you. They could simply be jerks who do this all the time, destined to end up being hurt themselves (what goes around comes around).

 

Stop judging yourself through their eyes!

 

 

Yes smudge, thats totally mean and disrespectful of her to do that to you.

What's upset me, is that these group of guys eventually found true love and settle down quite quickly with the same single ladies who attended the same dating events/platforms? Why is god so good to these mean and nasty ppl?

 

They treat the ladies with respect.., love and care..while me... I wonder why god wants me to suffer in this manner? I have a loving heart (becoming more bittered and revengeful) and treats ppl with respect and care. I dont hurt ppl with my words/comments.. I just want to find true love and end up being trampled, criticised, look down upon, horrible..while these guys are happily married/attached while i continue to be rejected down the line and made to feel like an outcast over and over again.

 

I hate god for not helping me

[dumpedandsore]

These are the strings of events (the most painful ones) that totally broke my heart/destroyed me: I have other painful experiences but these are the more significant ones

 

(1) knew a guy, he used me as a part-time gf, said he would never settle for something less (guess he is referring to me indirectly), used me, call me a "suck" girl, dumped me then asked me to find someone else; he married some plain looking scholar years later, think he is happy with a family now, he is the one who make me feel bad, with a bout of low self-esteem

(2) Dated me for 8 months quite intensively, introduced me to his family and friends (under their pressure and coaxing), one fine day, dropped a bomb on me, and said he was just using me to test /try out a r/s, but he would never like me, so wants me to go away in case "subconsciously (in his own words)" i still harbour hopes that he will fall for me one day

(3) recent ex. told him im deeply hurted in a r/s. he said he genuinely likes me and wouldnt see himself hurting or leaving me. after a heated quarrel, he just dumped me and cut me off completely. no sorry, remorse..nothing..

 

others: hi-bye dating disasters, used me to boost their ego (never wanted to date me seriously), friendszoned immediately (used me to know more about what girls think or fancy in a guy)

[learncmmqkmcv]

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[smudge21]

Would you say some of these guys saw you as a trophy girlfriend? In other words, maybe your looks attracted them to the point where they had no real interest in getting to know you and only wanted to have fun, show you off to friends, etc. Obviously I don't know what you look like, but I have seen similar happen to a few girls I know... even my recent ex.

 

These girls, we're not talking stunningly beautiful catwalk models or anything, but they have a certain way about them - whether it's the way they dress or simply act, it's like they ooze sex appeal and know exactly how to act sexy. They would often attract the typical admirers who would obviously shower them in compliments and eventually ask them out. But it never seemed to last.

 

I would hear similar complaints that they felt hurt and betrayed but then they'd go out and act the same way, attracting the same type of guy and end up being treated the same way. Maybe it's similar for you - you're going to the same places, acting or looking the same way, talking to the same guys and yet expecting different results.

 

Obviously I can only speculate here, so please don't take offence at what I'm suggesting. My recent ex, she actually models and had had work done to, ahem, enhance herself. Obviously this would get attention from most guys, especially when she'd do modelling events etc. She never really flaunted it when out and about though, but it was clear she was (is) very beautiful. When we first met, it was work related and due to that I just saw her as a friend and nothing more. We became close and things happened slowly, all down to her making the moves. Something she wasn't used to. She often said I was so different to other guys she met. My love for her came from knowing her, slowly over time. Some of my best memories are of us just together talking - I loved her for who she was, not what she looked like.

 

Is there any comparison you can make with what I've said, or maybe there's comparison with where you met all this guys, or their background. Don't assume the problem is you. It takes two to tango!

[dumpedandsore]

Would you say some of these guys saw you as a trophy girlfriend? In other words, maybe your looks attracted them to the point where they had no real interest in getting to know you and only wanted to have fun, show you off to friends, etc. Obviously I don't know what you look like, but I have seen similar happen to a few girls I know... even my recent ex.

 

These girls, we're not talking stunningly beautiful catwalk models or anything, but they have a certain way about them - whether it's the way they dress or simply act, it's like they ooze sex appeal and know exactly how to act sexy. They would often attract the typical admirers who would obviously shower them in compliments and eventually ask them out. But it never seemed to last.

 

I would hear similar complaints that they felt hurt and betrayed but then they'd go out and act the same way, attracting the same type of guy and end up being treated the same way. Maybe it's similar for you - you're going to the same places, acting or looking the same way, talking to the same guys and yet expecting different results.

 

Obviously I can only speculate here, so please don't take offence at what I'm suggesting. My recent ex, she actually models and had had work done to, ahem, enhance herself. Obviously this would get attention from most guys, especially when she'd do modelling events etc. She never really flaunted it when out and about though, but it was clear she was (is) very beautiful. When we first met, it was work related and due to that I just saw her as a friend and nothing more. We became close and things happened slowly, all down to her making the moves. Something she wasn't used to. She often said I was so different to other guys she met. My love for her came from knowing her, slowly over time. Some of my best memories are of us just together talking - I loved her for who she was, not what she looked like.

 

Is there any comparison you can make with what I've said, or maybe there's comparison with where you met all this guys, or their background. Don't assume the problem is you. It takes two to tango!

 

 

i get a drift of what you are getting at

 

But im sure, im the direct opposite of these girls. Somehow, i can never get a guy to like/love me, appreciates me, see me as the ONE and stay by my side.