Author giotto Posted August 28, 2011 Author Share Posted August 28, 2011 Yes, going through a divorce is very painful, even if you know it's the right path to take. The biggest thing for my gf's that are unhappy are "the kids"... I assume there H's are just as unhappy but also stay because of the kids. One of my gf's H left her a couple of years ago- but it only lasted a couple of months because both of their daughters were such a mess over it (7 and 9 years old). He decided to come back because the kids were so heartbroken. They remain unhappy together- which is sad. sometimes you do what you have to do... I don't want to sound like a saint, but mi kids' happiness is more important than mine... Link to post Share on other sites
Rosemarie Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 Very commendable..marriage is never always ideal. It is not a fantasy..yet your vows should never be taken lightly. Your vows are "your word"..and that my friend is the most honorable thing you could do. Give your word and keep it in this life. Link to post Share on other sites
Osiris1234 Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 Got kids? So what. Kids are never a reason to stay together. I was an only child growing up with my mom for 18 years and I turned out perfectly fine. Hell I became beyond successful without a father figure. No money? Start putting your paycheck in a secret account while you go through the divorce. Why should she/he get any of your hard earned money. Current situation? Who cares. You can easily find another place to stay or job or whatever it is once you leave. Family living with you? They need to figure out their life, you can't baby sit them forever cause you have your own life to worry about. From my last thread. Link to post Share on other sites
NervisPervis Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 I am in a marriage where I am content to a point but unhappy mostly. We also get along well for the most part but there is no true and complete happiness on my side. I'm sure he cannot be extremely happy either. We both know that the intimacy has died long ago. We are like brother and sister. There is also resentment on both sides (although he won't admit it) that can eat away at a relationship. Why do I stay? Not sure if we are staying together but right now, it's so hard to leave when I know we care about each other still and yes, the guilt. As far as the kids, they can see and feel the disconnect and distance. I would rather them see a completely healthy relationship. Also the pain is intense on both sides when we are apart and memories get triggered and there are SO many memories when you've been with someone for 23 years. I'll quote Lexygirl for my wife and copy and pase your original post for me. Personally, it's the children, and I suppose my marriage is not unhappy enough for me to leave. I said in another thread that my marriage has been the biggest disappointment of my life, but I'm still here. The thing is, we don't argue, we get along, the atmosphere in the household is pretty relaxed, we share many ideals and beliefs and I'm pretty sure I would have a hard time finding another woman like my wife. Also, after 25 years together, well, I'm quite scared to have a relationship with another woman! I suppose the financial aspect of it also plays a fairly big role. Link to post Share on other sites
wellanydaynow Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 I stay because I have few options. The home we built is paid for. The Kids are all adults now so that is no issue. I have a crappy job that is just enough for both of us to get by. My 401k has been devistated. Old but not old enough to retire. And very worried that the kids mother would do something awful to herself if I bailed. Link to post Share on other sites
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