Jim Ryzle Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 There is this girl that I have known for about a year in high-school, and in the beginning I found her as just a good friend with a charming personality, and nothing more. But as I kept talking to her, I noticed that she was the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen in my entire life, and developed pretty strong feelings for her. However, after I told her, she did not share those feelings back, but said i was one of her closest friends and she thought about liking me possibly. However as time passes by, I always feel like I feel for her 50 times more strongly than she does for me, and that kills me, and now she tells me she just sees me as a regular friend. For example, we probably text each other everyday, and if there are three day breaks, I feel completely miserable while she feels completely indifferent about it, and that kills me so bad. What I want is how can I stop obsessing over her and not like her at all? I try to forget about her but I always get the feeling that if I hold on just for a little bit longer.... I try blocking her but I unblock her two minutes later. This is also hard because she is my first friend I have ever been this close to, and she probably has at least four other friends that are as close as I am to her.
smudge21 Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 It's said we don't fall in love with someone when we're with them, but when we're apart from them. It's clear that the more you've got to know this girl the more you've seen her inner beauty which in turn has led you to see her outer beauty, and now you're hooked. She's not been the instant attraction, it's taken a while to see her this way. Sadly that means the feelings are deeper and more difficult to get rid of... but at the moment, you don't want to get rid of them. You love her and don't want to give up just yet. It's tough as she's made it clear and doesn't want to lose the friendship you've got, but you have to think about yourself. How will you feel when she starts dating someone seriously. This is not an easy situation and I do know where you are - my recent ex and I started in this way. To me she was another very pretty girl, but after getting to know her I know am unable to see anything other than this totally amazing girl who I love dearly. Okay, we did date for a while which is the difference, but afterwards we tried the friendship route again. It didn't work... it couldn't work. Not the way I feel about her, so I had to say goodbye. It was hard, but it was the only option. I'm not saying that is YOUR only option, but I know hanging around with her and keeping contact will end up hurting you more... unless you find someone else to direct your love on to. I hope you can work it out without too much heart ache.
Author Jim Ryzle Posted August 22, 2011 Author Posted August 22, 2011 It's said we don't fall in love with someone when we're with them, but when we're apart from them. It's clear that the more you've got to know this girl the more you've seen her inner beauty which in turn has led you to see her outer beauty, and now you're hooked. She's not been the instant attraction, it's taken a while to see her this way. Sadly that means the feelings are deeper and more difficult to get rid of... but at the moment, you don't want to get rid of them. You love her and don't want to give up just yet. It's tough as she's made it clear and doesn't want to lose the friendship you've got, but you have to think about yourself. How will you feel when she starts dating someone seriously. This is not an easy situation and I do know where you are - my recent ex and I started in this way. To me she was another very pretty girl, but after getting to know her I know am unable to see anything other than this totally amazing girl who I love dearly. Okay, we did date for a while which is the difference, but afterwards we tried the friendship route again. It didn't work... it couldn't work. Not the way I feel about her, so I had to say goodbye. It was hard, but it was the only option. I'm not saying that is YOUR only option, but I know hanging around with her and keeping contact will end up hurting you more... unless you find someone else to direct your love on to. I hope you can work it out without too much heart ache. I just can't forget.
wilsonx Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 with time and NC you can. Treat this as a breakup.
Author Jim Ryzle Posted August 23, 2011 Author Posted August 23, 2011 I have talked to her practically everyday for a year.. It is literally killing me to stop.. I can't focus on anything.
greenhorn Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 Do this as Wilson says. You should have had check points to see how you were doing this in relationship with this girl. That would have stopped your feelings from becoming deeper. Easier said that done, we all would have done the same as you did. Now treat this as breakup (without telling her so), don't talk to her, and keep saying to yourself there was nothing there for you. It will hurt but should get better with time.
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