Scirok Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 So this is my original post http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t290752/?highlight=girlfriend+years+leaves so i have been broken up with my gf of 3 years now for a little over a month and this is the third week of no contact and i been doing good havnt been really thinking about her been going out alot and venting to myself. But last night i just got back from a vacation that i went too see one of my good friends that i havnt seen in a while that i used to do alot when i was with my ex. Now this seems like no big deal the problem is as stupid as it sounds is it really didnt hit me until i got off the plane but shes wasnt going to be there waiting for me cause everytime ive got off a plane in the last 3 years on the many many trips ive gone on ive been jumped on and hugged and kissed and for some unknown reason i thought she was going to be there i dont understand why i thought that i just had that in the back of my head and now i feel like im right back were i was a month ago i broke down again and lost all the effort i put into getting over her i know this is such a stupid thing to feel but it just hurts so much that she really wasnt there even tho i understand its over what do i do now
Author Scirok Posted August 20, 2011 Author Posted August 20, 2011 Bump : someone please leave some feedback I don't have anyone to tell this too cause I feel like a jackass for still caring
smudge21 Posted August 20, 2011 Posted August 20, 2011 What you have there is a trigger; something that is connected to memories of your ex. I have them too - first place we met, certain dates, programmes (I introduced to Family Guy of all things). Until you're healed and moved on, these triggers will occasionally pop up and you'll feel set back. But accept them for what they are, memories, nothing more. You're doing well, don't let a short moment in time ruin that.
Author Scirok Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 Hey thanks for the advice it seems like i have Alot of these "triggers" i think due to the fact i live in a semi small city and i see her and the guy she left me for everwere doing the things we used to do together. another "trigger" is the fact that my job requires me to drive by her work where her car is outfront and impossible to miss it and her work is were she met this guy she left me for I wish there was a way to avoid her and her work there's just no way and I try so hard to ignore it. I just feel so ****ty when I see them together and she's so happy because as much as I lie to myself it still eats me inside to know how she's so happy
smudge21 Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Triggers unfortunately can never be avoided, there will always be something there. But in a way, they can be good as one day you'll see those same triggers and they won't mean the same anymore. Just stay strong and things do always get better. No contact is never easy though - that's the worse thing about loving so much, it hurts so much to let go.
Author Scirok Posted August 21, 2011 Author Posted August 21, 2011 Is there anytime that will help me feel better about when I see her with the guy she cheated on me with it just hurts soo much cause she's so happy I wonder if she still thinks about me or regrets what she did when she sees me cause these triggers obviously affect her too but maybe not cause she has a new Boy to ride I just wish I could hide behind someone else so I could Fill that void like she is so I could be happy too
WindWhisperer Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Agh the triggers. How I hate them so... Had one this evening... Saw How I met your mother was on and I burst into tears all over again and I've been in a down mood all night. I also have had to drive past my exes work for the last 2 weeks. Luckily I'm at a different location from tomorrow. I am sorry you are going through this. I haven't heard from my ex or spoken to him since our break up and I wonder... "Is he really happier without me?" "Am I a distant memory?" "Is he relieved?" "Has he met someone else?" I'm sorry she is with someone else. I've been there before with a previous ex and I know that kind of pain. The time now is just really hard... And painfully slowly it will get better. We all wish there was a quick fix. If I could sleep until it stopped hurting I would... But we can't. But thankfully the people here are awesome. I am here as often as I can... That helps a little bit
smudge21 Posted August 21, 2011 Posted August 21, 2011 Is there anytime that will help me feel better about when I see her with the guy she cheated on me with it just hurts soo much cause she's so happy I wonder if she still thinks about me or regrets what she did when she sees me cause these triggers obviously affect her too but maybe not cause she has a new Boy to ride I just wish I could hide behind someone else so I could Fill that void like she is so I could be happy too You will heal when you heal - there's no way to predict when that will be. Just accept like the rest of us you will go through bad times, even when you think you've healed. One day though, you're attention will be elsewhere and you'll be healed, but you won't really know it. It's hard to explain, but you'll just be fine. It will come... just ride out these rough times and stay strong. You're never alone.
Author Scirok Posted August 22, 2011 Author Posted August 22, 2011 Ya I'm gonna try my best I know there's no quick fix just wish there was relief like she has. I know you never should look at your self in this view but I've alwas had such a hard time finding girls i click with and for some odd reason I thought this was the last girl I was going to have to find I think I just need to heal up and remember how to talk to girls again ha because it's been a long time and I was faithful threw out this relationship so it's going to be hard
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