Girlfriend of 3 years leaves me

[Scirok]

So a little background info my ex is 20 I'm 22 we have been together for 3 years we both do 0 drugs and have never tried she doesn't even drink or would ever try. So recently I broke up with my gf over the suspision of her cheating on me or something didn't feel right the sex life was falling off she didn't seem to want to spend time with me etc and I ended it cause it just didn't seem right almost to test the water to see how she would react if she was or wasn't I should have known u can't get a truthful answer out of girls so anywas she was obviously heart broken and the next day I tried to call her back and maybe apologize depending on how she took it well she just got extremely upset and didn't want to talk to me etc. She then later and for the next couple of days came over at night and we talked and cried and cuddled etc but she said she couldn't be with me right now which confused me even more so I went along with it and got more mad because I mean it sucks saying this but prior to me meeting her she was sleeping around a good amount so I know her and know if she gets the space she want she will stray cause she needs that guy attention I think due to her never having a father figure in her life. So 3 weeks went by and a couple of friends sat me down and told me that they did a little spying on her to see what she was up to and she had been staying at this guys house all nite and I was obviously crushed that she did this after being together for three years she could jump in the saddle again I mean I know her past and what she like I just thought I could change who she was and it seemed like she was for three years so I know That not the part that hurts the worst after asking around I found out this kid works at her job has been arrested several times for breaking and entering drug charges etc he also is addicted to perks and droped out of highschool

I just don't understand why she would leave me

For a guy like this im very confused and disgusted In this. And one night after finding out i tried to call her and talk not about are relationship because im past that point of wanting her back he had Her go down the police station and have an officer tell me i can have no contact with her or ill be arrested i

Also found out threw her mother that shes not happy with this at all she called me crying cause she told her she has to choise this guy or her and she said him so shes an emotional wreck too and she doesnt understand why she wouldnever leave me telling me how good i treated her and from

How well of a familiy i come from and how she alwas thought we were going to get married cause of how much i helped this girl Now a little About me I know every guy says well I treated her so good etc well

This time it's true I did nothing but love this girl

To death hold her cuddle her etc when she would cry about her family and life

etc I was alwas there for this girl she didn't have the greater home so we would hang out Alot her choice not mine but I didn't mind cause I loved this girl and would do anything to make her happy I was there for her emotionally and treating her nice spoiling her with gifts vacations etc it just blows my mind that she would leave me for such a ****bag I'm just confused what she saw in him that she didn't see in me he's not going Anywere in life me on the other hand I'm a firefighter/emt i just don't know were I went wrong or what I did wrong that caused her to stray and for how long she has been doing this is makes me sick to my stomach if shes been cheating on me the whole time and I been well "ya" another guy basically errrrr makes me so digested I'm just wondering why she would do this I've beaten this into the ground telling my friend and they all tell me I just got to

Stop thinking about it but it's not that easy I know it takes time and everything I just can't clear my mind knowing what she did behind my back and knowing that a girl I love is out there every night making love to such a ****bag

[Chi townD]

I never get girls at all, always going for a guy with the "bad boy" image. WEll, here's the deal, if he has had trouble with the law, if he carries this "bad boy" persona, logic will only dictate that it will be a matter of time before he starts treating her BADLY. When that happens she'll start to realize what she's lost. She's shutting out the guy that treated her well, bought her things, took her on vacation. Then she'll realize that she shut out her family over a guy that shouldn't have been worth her time.

 

I suggest to you is to go NC on her. SHe needs to know that you are gone and you aren't a shoulder to cry on. SHe wanted you out of her life, so give her what she wants. Time to start healing and letting her go. She made this decision (might be the wrong one) but if it's a mistake. It's a mistake she has to live with because you don't.

[wilsonx]

So a little background info my ex is 20 I'm 22 we have been together for 3 years we both do 0 drugs and have never tried she doesn't even drink or would ever try. So recently I broke up with my gf over the suspision of her cheating on me or something didn't feel right the sex life was falling off she didn't seem to want to spend time with me etc

 

I want to tell you, this quote right here. This is all that matters. Anything you typed afterwards means nothing.

 

Here you stood up for yourself. You had a gut instinct that she was cheating on you and from what you told me you were right. You did the right thing ending the relationship. Do you feel guilty about it, hell yes you do and thats normal. But as a guy that failed to stop the relationship at this point, I applaud you for standing up for yourself.

 

Now the rest of what you are typing actually means nothing. She probably has been cheating on you for some time with this other guy. He's a loser, your right, my ex left me for a loser just like him. She wants to be with a bad boy, let them. You have to let your ex go and start healing and moving forward from this. this is going to be hard. You need to stop all contact with her, even from friends and family. Tell your friends and family to let it go. Go out and find someone better. You can check out the link in my signature if you are looking for more answers. Feel free to respond on that thread as I subscribed to it. Others here are also going through the same thing so feel free to respond here

Let me reiterate again, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. Do not feel guilty for ending the relationship.

[Scirok]

I know I need to go NC an I have been it's just I feel like I'm losing my mind. All i can think of is her having sex with this guy every-night while I'm alone i know its a stupid thing to think Of i just cant believe this is so easy for her to

Up and Go after we were so close like doesn't she not have enough self respect to care about my feelings when All i did was care for hers.It's killing me to know how happy she is with this kid alrdy when I'm still in the dumps. Like does she not think about me or miss? I just don't understand what happened here I know I should blame myself but I can't help it I know I can never take her back it's just I cant get my mind off it this sucks

[Scirok]

Someone please leave you input this gets harder every day

[Layzie89]

Welcome to Loveshack buddy. I know exactly what you're going through, my ex and your ex sound exactly the same hell, even our ages are identical. One thing that I've learned to accept and you have to as well is that this girls only freaking 20 years old. And you're only 22. We're all still extremely young here man...still growing up, still 'experimenting'. Can you really expect someone to want to settle down and be with you FOREVER at such a young inexperienced age? I don't blame you if you do... I thought it so with my ex girlfriend as well. But we have to remind ourselves that in most cases, it's unfair to ask someone so young to remain exclusive and want to settle down and be with you for the rest of their life. You said she's been with you for 3 years, that would mean she's been with you since she was 17? That's a long time man. A long time to have been tied down to one person during the time in a persons life when they should be dating around, trying new partners, discovering new things. Having the promiscuous past that she's had you weren't TRULY expecting her to remain exclusive were you? Come on man, open your eyes. I've made that mistake, trust me.

 

My take on the issue? She's young, she's been with you for three long years and she's been dying to just break out and seek new thrills. She met this bad boy drug head and it's EXCITING to her. She's never done any drugs and hardly drinks....this dude is like a ****ing rockstar in her eyes I bet. But don't let that bring you down man. I'm willing to bet on it that if she's staying over at this kids house alot...she's MOST LIKELY having sex and doing drugs with him. I'm not saying this to be brute, I'm being realistic here man. You know it just as much as I do that this is likely the case. STOP WONDERING. ACCEPT IT. Once you accept that she's screwing this new guy and there's nothing you can do about it, you're mind is free'd from having to wonder all day. It hurts, but you gotta face the truth.

 

In spite of everything, no matter what, you ALWAYS have to try and see things positively rather than negatively. You were nothing but GOOD to this girl and she knows that, trust me. Eventually, this bad boys gonna start treating her like ****, and she's going to remember you and how good of a man you were to her, how you treated her like a lady and loved her. That right there is golden man...I'd be happy with that, in fact I am happy with that. So chin up.

Edited August 7, 2011 by Layzie89

[Scirok]

I understand and accept that she's with a new guy there's nothing I can do about that but it's not about her anymore I don't want her back or feel the need that I have to be with her it just sucks cause for three years I used to come home to her in my bed every night and constant texts and it's like I don't miss her but I miss like that companionship if you know what I'm trying to say I just want to make it clear I don't want her back it just I want that feeling of someone there I know this is so pussy like but I was really close to her and it was more then just lovers we were best friends and it really hurts she broke that bond we formed like I said tho it just crushes me not for the fact that she's gone but my friend is I'm sorry if this sounds like selfish or poor me but I'm over the fact that she's moved on I just dont know how to cope with that person I spent 3 years of my life talking to everyday and when I go Home and she's not there it brings a tear to my eyes everytime

[Scirok]

This is just so hard to keep My head up