, I still care about my ex

[APC]

I've come through a very complex relationship, LDR to start, we met 8 months ago I visited for a week about 6 months ago, she visited me about 3 months ago, and in between it was daily phonecalls and skype chats. It all came because I knew I was moving back to live near where she lives for university. I should say that this is my first serious relationship. We broke up about 3 weeks ago, when I came over(end of June) I stayed with her solidly for a month and the relationship nosedived because I didn't have a life outside of her, I went pretty insane, we both stopped enjoying each others company and in the end she broke it off because she felt she'd lost her feelings for me. I was devastated, it's hard because I know she deeply cares about me, and I her, I don't think either of us were in love by the end of it(we were, madly in love up until not long after I moved over) and had circumstances been different and I been a bit more experienced not to let myself change and become as desperate as I did by the end of it. Anyway, the break up happened, I would say that initially, it felt right, because we were both unhappy, but I realised how much went wrong, and how it didn't need to be that way. Now I know she feels lonely a lot, and feels like a horrible person who genuinely dislikes herself, she's about 6 years older than I am and in my eyes, regardless of how our relationship went, is an incredible person. She's achieved so much in life, is a wonderful mother, and is loved by friends and family. I still love her, as a person who I care about. I am happy without her, and we both want to do our best to try and build a friendship out of it. However I know she's miserable about herself, and up until the last month, I used to make her so happy, I really want to do that again now, even if I don't see her. I want to call or text just to let her know, and remind her that she is a wonderful person. She deserves nothing but to be happy. I know she doesn't resent me, and she'd pick up my calls/return my texts. I know she's not questioning her feelings, and I genuinely believe that for now, us being together was not right. But as I've said, I really genuinely care about her, and I want to be there for her to help, just to make her happy again because I hate the thought of her being sad, even if it isn't about me. I do worry that anything I say might make me come across as just some ploy to get back together, and if she'd even really listen to what I say any more. She's planning to call me next week so we can arrange a time to get together and meet up, (we haven't seen each other since the break up). Can anyone help? Should I really just leave her knowing she's lonely? Should I tell her I still think she's a wonderful person? Should I just offer myself if needed?

 

Thanks to anyone who has any advice