nice days are hard

[JohnEl]

Yet another guilt trip. I'm still standing by my theory that she's never going to be able to be fulfilled 100%- yet you're blaming yourself for being the best you could have possibly been.

 

your not the first person to tell me that. i know im still in shock about this breakup and im still not thinking clearly. i hope im able to udnerstand this all a little better when the dust settles.

 

is it possible for her to be completly over me and already moved on? ive been told that shes so happy to not be with me. that really hurts bc my time with her meant a lot to me. she has to be acting like shes fine or something. i know it doesnt really matter but i dont like to think that shes moved on from everything i did for her and everything we did together. she loved me a lot and told me all the time. theres no way she is happy to not be with me.

[D-Lish]

your not the first person to tell me that. i know im still in shock about this breakup and im still not thinking clearly. i hope im able to udnerstand this all a little better when the dust settles.

 

is it possible for her to be completly over me and already moved on? ive been told that shes so happy to not be with me. that really hurts bc my time with her meant a lot to me. she has to be acting like shes fine or something. i know it doesnt really matter but i dont like to think that shes moved on from everything i did for her and everything we did together. she loved me a lot and told me all the time. theres no way she is happy to not be with me.

 

People will say things like this to avoid and posture in front of people. It's just another tactic designed to make you feel bad for not living up to her unrealistic expectations.

 

People don't just walk away after 2 years and forget about you. the fact that she jumped into another relationship so quickly tells you a lot about her. Was this the same when you met her, is this a pattern for her, not being able to be alone?

[JohnEl]

People will say things like this to avoid and posture in front of people. It's just another tactic designed to make you feel bad for not living up to her unrealistic expectations.

 

People don't just walk away after 2 years and forget about you. the fact that she jumped into another relationship so quickly tells you a lot about her. Was this the same when you met her, is this a pattern for her, not being able to be alone?

 

ha yea she totally did the same thing to the guy before me. she had a long distance boyfriend of like 3 years and left him a few days after she met me. i brought that up when we broke up but she said it was different. she said she actually loved me but not him. she said he was just a guy she was keeping around but she admitted that it was immature and she felt bad about it. she kept telling me that this new guy has nothing to do with us breaking up. i think shes trying to convince herself that he had nothing to do with us breaking up. this guy didnt just materialize out of nowhere once we broke up. she wasnt physically cheating on me but i think there were some things going on in her subconcious that she may not have acknowledged at the time but once we broke up, those feelings came to the surface. she knew that she had this guy to fall back on if things with me and her ended.

[D-Lish]

ha yea she totally did the same thing to the guy before me. she had a long distance boyfriend of like 3 years and left him a few days after she met me. i brought that up when we broke up but she said it was different. she said she actually loved me but not him. she said he was just a guy she was keeping around but she admitted that it was immature and she felt bad about it. she kept telling me that this new guy has nothing to do with us breaking up. i think shes trying to convince herself that he had nothing to do with us breaking up. this guy didnt just materialize out of nowhere once we broke up. she wasnt physically cheating on me but i think there were some things going on in her subconcious that she may not have acknowledged at the time but once we broke up, those feelings came to the surface. she knew that she had this guy to fall back on if things with me and her ended.

 

She was lining someone up so she didn't have to be alone- and she'll do this her entire life!

 

It's making sense now. This is indicative of someone that is incredibly needy and insecure. She has no idea how to be alone, the thought of it terrifies her... That's why she goes from relationship to relationship.

 

I have a friend like this. She's never been alone for more than a week or two since she started dating. After a 5 year relationship/engagement- she got involved with another guy straight away when her guy broke up with her- she's now just done the same thing again after being broken up with.

 

My friend's defense is that she doesn't want to be alone- and this girl is VERY, VERY needy and insecure.

 

The more you reveal, the more I am able to tell you, it's not you- it's her, and one day you'll come to the realization that you dodged a bullet. Women like this rely on YOU for their happiness, and that's a pretty big burden to place on someone. She doesn't know how to make herself happy, so she places that responsibility on her partners. Men will always fail at this role.

[Diatribes]

ha yea she totally did the same thing to the guy before me. she had a long distance boyfriend of like 3 years and left him a few days after she met me. i brought that up when we broke up but she said it was different. she said she actually loved me but not him. she said he was just a guy she was keeping around but she admitted that it was immature and she felt bad about it. she kept telling me that this new guy has nothing to do with us breaking up. i think shes trying to convince herself that he had nothing to do with us breaking up. this guy didnt just materialize out of nowhere once we broke up. she wasnt physically cheating on me but i think there were some things going on in her subconcious that she may not have acknowledged at the time but once we broke up, those feelings came to the surface. she knew that she had this guy to fall back on if things with me and her ended.

 

Talk about a repeat offender. Can you see the pattern here? Also, I wouldn't put too much stock in what this woman tells you. She's going to tell you what she wants you to hear, or what she wants you to feel. She seems to be a manipulator.

 

You have no way of knowing if she cheated on you or not. Typically, people who lack any integrity like she seems will have no qualms about infidelity. Even if she didn't physically cheat, I'd bet she was spending time with this other guy on a "more than friends" level. Either way, that's a huge breach of trust.

 

I've seen a lot of red flags in what you've said regarding this woman. You won't start to see them until you're less emotionally compromised. As someone told me previously regarding my ex, "RUN LIKE HELL". If you don't, you'll probably just run into hell.

[JohnEl]

She was lining someone up so she didn't have to be alone- and she'll do this her entire life!

 

It's making sense now. This is indicative of someone that is incredibly needy and insecure. She has no idea how to be alone, the thought of it terrifies her... That's why she goes from relationship to relationship.

 

I have a friend like this. She's never been alone for more than a week or two since she started dating. After a 5 year relationship/engagement- she got involved with another guy straight away when her guy broke up with her- she's now just done the same thing again after being broken up with.

 

My friend's defense is that she doesn't want to be alone- and this girl is VERY, VERY needy and insecure.

 

The more you reveal, the more I am able to tell you, it's not you- it's her, and one day you'll come to the realization that you dodged a bullet. Women like this rely on YOU for their happiness, and that's a pretty big burden to place on someone. She doesn't know how to make herself happy, so she places that responsibility on her partners. Men will always fail at this role.

 

this all kinda makes sense but its really hard for me to see right now. i really thought that we were going to get married. i remember how much she loved me. she was so happy and basically obsessed with me. things were getting kinda rough because we were long distance for so long.

 

things started getting bad my last semester of college. i was really focusing on school and graduating and didnt really go out and party like i used to. she still went out to bars and such and i didnt go out with her that much. she felt like i did that bc i didnt care for her but its bc i was preparing for our future. she failed to understand that. then i moved away for 6 months while she finished her last semseter of college. so basically the last year of our relationship, she felt unloved.

 

how could she just break up with me two weeks before she moved back with me. two more weeks and everything would have been fine. its just crazy too me that she couldnt talk to me about her being upset or at least wait two weeks to see if things got better when she moved back with me. she feels like she let me know how upset she was. she said little things here and there but i never knew she was at her breaking point. a week before we broke up, she sent me a message on facebook and told me that she feels like i dont appreciate her and that i put her second to a lot of things. stuff like that. i called her and we talked about it and i just figure that there was no way we would break up between then and the two weeks from when she moved back. thigns were fine again and then one day we got into the same fight about her feeling like i didnt care about her and thats when she broke up with me. its crazy. oh and by the way, she broke up with me by email. ill fill you in on how bad she handled the break up if your interested. thats a crazy story

[D-Lish]

this all kinda makes sense but its really hard for me to see right now. i really thought that we were going to get married. i remember how much she loved me. she was so happy and basically obsessed with me. things were getting kinda rough because we were long distance for so long.

 

things started getting bad my last semester of college. i was really focusing on school and graduating and didnt really go out and party like i used to. she still went out to bars and such and i didnt go out with her that much. she felt like i did that bc i didnt care for her but its bc i was preparing for our future. she failed to understand that. then i moved away for 6 months while she finished her last semseter of college. so basically the last year of our relationship, she felt unloved.

 

how could she just break up with me two weeks before she moved back with me. two more weeks and everything would have been fine. its just crazy too me that she couldnt talk to me about her being upset or at least wait two weeks to see if things got better when she moved back with me. she feels like she let me know how upset she was. she said little things here and there but i never knew she was at her breaking point. a week before we broke up, she sent me a message on facebook and told me that she feels like i dont appreciate her and that i put her second to a lot of things. stuff like that. i called her and we talked about it and i just figure that there was no way we would break up between then and the two weeks from when she moved back. thigns were fine again and then one day we got into the same fight about her feeling like i didnt care about her and thats when she broke up with me. its crazy. oh and by the way, she broke up with me by email. ill fill you in on how bad she handled the break up if your interested. thats a crazy story

 

Someday you will look back and it will sink in.

 

Everything you're describing screams out how needy she was.

 

This is a girl that doesn't know how to make herself happy- so she places that burden and expectation on others. It's an extremely selfish lifestyle, and it's not an emotionally stable way for someone to live her life.

 

When someone relies on YOU to make them happy, you're barely going to get breathing room because they need constant attention. It's always going to be all about them.

 

Think about it- she's never been alone, someone that's never been alone can't possibly know who they are, because they define themselves as part of a partnership, and that partnership is solely designed to appease them.

 

Looking back can you see how she looked to you for her happiness?

Happiness has to come from within, you simply can't rely on others to make you happy. What a huge responsibility she placed on you.

 

Yes, tell us about the e-mail!

[JohnEl]

Someday you will look back and it will sink in.

 

Everything you're describing screams out how needy she was.

 

This is a girl that doesn't know how to make herself happy- so she places that burden and expectation on others. It's an extremely selfish lifestyle, and it's not an emotionally stable way for someone to live her life.

 

When someone relies on YOU to make them happy, you're barely going to get breathing room because they need constant attention. It's always going to be all about them.

 

Think about it- she's never been alone, someone that's never been alone can't possibly know who they are, because they define themselves as part of a partnership, and that partnership is solely designed to appease them.

 

Looking back can you see how she looked to you for her happiness?

Happiness has to come from within, you simply can't rely on others to make you happy. What a huge responsibility she placed on you.

 

Yes, tell us about the e-mail!

 

well after our last fight, we didnt talk for about 5 days. i figured it was just a break and we needed to give eachother a few days too cool off. then she sent me an email. telling me how much she loved me and how much she wanted to be with me but just cant because she doesnt feel like i wanted to be with her wand bc i hurt her too many times. there are a few things that i did/didnt do that i know hurt her feelings but they werent as bad as she made them out to be. they were ground for breaking up. and some of the things were 2 years ago. she never let those things go. she said i was a great guy and made her happy but it just wasnt working and she needed to see what else is out there and that she wasnt happy anymore and hasnt been fo a while. stuff like that.

 

i didnt know what to say so i waited about 3 days til i said anything. i called her and told her i didnt want to break up. i told her how much i loved her and everything and we cried to eachother. she said she just cant be with me. i told her not to make a big decision right now and to wait til she moves back home which was in two weeks. she said she would consider working it out with me when she got back. so i assumed that everything was going to be okay. the next day i talked to a mutual friend who told me that she has moved on and doesnt want to be with me and is happy to not be with me. i freaked out and called her and i cried to her (the day before i saw pics of her and this new guy). i asked her about him and she said he is just a friend and that us breaking up isnt about there being someone else, its about us not working. but again, she told me that we could see what happens when she moved back. so i tried to keep in touch with her for the next couple of weeks. i sent one text a day and i sent her flowers one day too. just to let her know i care about her and want to be with her. i did this for a week and she never responded to one text or anything. after a week, i called her and we talked, she told me that she doesnt see us getting back together and that i need to move on. i told her that i was going to cut her out of my life because i cant see her bc it will be too hard. she cried bc she still wanted to be friends. the next day i gave in and called her again. i told her i dont want to cut her out of my life bc shes such a big part of it. again, i told her to try and work on it when she moved back and she said maybe. we talked one more time and i confessed me love for her. i told her how much i love her and got really emotional, (i know i shouldnt have done this). she said we will see what happens hwen she moves back. i kept the once a day texting and never got a response. a week later, (4 days before she moves back) she tells a mutual friend to tell me to stop talking to her bc shes just going to ignore me and doesnt wanna see me. so i did. the day she got back i heard about her seeing another guy. so i called her and we met up in person. we talked for 2 hours. she said she went on a date with this guy bc she neeeded to stop moping around and being sad. she thought it would help. my friend called me later that day. he lives in the city she was living in where we went to college. he said that she was been with this guy since the day we broke up. he said they are all over eacfhother and she was lying to me the whole time. she was telling me that maybe we can work things out when she gets back to my city but she really knew that wasnt going to happen. she kept me wondering for 2 weeks about what she was doing, whats going to happen etc. we kept talking a little bit here and there but it all ended with her saying that she doesnt wanna be with me. finally, last week, i sent an email and told her that i understand her reasoning. i told her that i realize that things were kinda rough. we kept arguing and fighting and that maybe breaking up was the only way to get us to stop fighting. i told her that she never made it clear to me about how upset she really was. i also said that i cannot be her friend if shes dating this new guy. she replied and said that she loved me and is sure ill find the right girl for me. she said shes going to see what happens with this new guy bc he makes her happy. she siad that she doesnt understand why i dont wanna be friends if shes dating him. we sent about 5 emails back and forth about this stuff and it ended with me sending one saying that im not going to talk or see her for a very long time. i said i wish things would have worked out and that i hope this isnt goodbye forever.

 

basically, she kept me guessing for 2 weeks and it drove me insane. she was into this guy the whole time and would tell me about him. i had to hear from a mututal friend that she was dating someone else. its like she doesnt care about me at all and the time we spent together. shes moved on so quickly and it hurts so much. i keep thinking i wulda coulda shoulda done this or that to make things work. i just miss her so much. its hard for me to put blame anywhere else becuase i know how much she loved me. she was obsessed with me so i must have done something wrong to push her away.

[radiodarcy]

i know the feeling. i got dumped around winter time and while the dreary, overcast weather did nothing to help my mood - - i felt even worse when the spring rolled around and the weather got warmer.

 

it reminded me of how we used to go for walks or the time we had a picnic. and then it made me think about how he's probably doing that with his new girl. even though the chances of running in to him are extremely low, i still used to worry about running in them.

 

but after awhile i said to myself "so? he doesn't own the weather! i have just as much a right to enjoy this day as they do! :bunny:"

 

and i'll be damned, that's exactly what i did

 

it wasn't a spectacular day -- and i did still miss him. but i still had fun and it was a lot better than sitting at home; feeling sorry for myself while he's out there having the time of his life with someone else.

[D-Lish]

Must have been awful to find out she started dating someone so quickly that way.

 

This girl sounds so much like my younger friend that is exactly the same way. She moves from one relationship to the next, unable to be alone, and she's incredibly needy. The thing is, she is so needy, that she doesn't GIVE anything. It doesn't occur to her to give anything back because all she thinks about is herself.

 

Even as her friend, she never asks aboout me- she only wants to talk about herself.

 

Looking back at your relationship, did you find that she gave as much to you as you did to her emotionally?

[JohnEl]

Yea she did do a lot for me. She loved me a lot. We would get in fights about me not doing enough with her and she felt neglected. I do feel as though I did a lot for her besides a couple of incidents where I did/didnt do something I should have but she made it seem like it was the end of the world. we resolved the problem but she would always bring it back up a month or two later.

 

I honesty think shes conpletley moved on. She may still think about me from time to time but she feels good that me and her aren't together. She really feels like I took her for granted and that she's better off without me. No hope for us getting back together and it's really hard for me to handle. I never thought we would ever break up. I really thought she was the one.

[D-Lish]

Yea she did do a lot for me. She loved me a lot. We would get in fights about me not doing enough with her and she felt neglected. I do feel as though I did a lot for her besides a couple of incidents where I did/didnt do something I should have but she made it seem like it was the end of the world. we resolved the problem but she would always bring it back up a month or two later.

 

I honesty think shes conpletley moved on. She may still think about me from time to time but she feels good that me and her aren't together. She really feels like I took her for granted and that she's better off without me. No hope for us getting back together and it's really hard for me to handle. I never thought we would ever break up. I really thought she was the one.

 

People don't completely move on from long term relationships that quickly. The fact that she started dating someone so quickly likely means that she's avoiding having to deal with it.

 

She's happy right now because she's getting plenty of attention.

This new guy will eventually disappoint as well.

[JohnEl]

People don't completely move on from long term relationships that quickly. The fact that she started dating someone so quickly likely means that she's avoiding having to deal with it.

 

She's happy right now because she's getting plenty of attention.

This new guy will eventually disappoint as well.

 

i hope so. i hope he cant give her what she wants. i know its all fun for them right now bc they are getting to know eachother and everything but i dont understand how that will last considering he lives 3 hours away. i dont know how they are going to start a relationship over the phone. he doesnt move back to the same city as us til may 2012. does she really wanna be with him? it hurts to know that she would rather try to make it work with a guy 3 hours away and who she has only known 2 months instead of trying to make it work with me and im 2 miles away. that really makes me think she doesnt want anything to do with me.

[D-Lish]

i hope so. i hope he cant give her what she wants. i know its all fun for them right now bc they are getting to know eachother and everything but i dont understand how that will last considering he lives 3 hours away. i dont know how they are going to start a relationship over the phone. he doesnt move back to the same city as us til may 2012. does she really wanna be with him? it hurts to know that she would rather try to make it work with a guy 3 hours away and who she has only known 2 months instead of trying to make it work with me and im 2 miles away. that really makes me think she doesnt want anything to do with me.

 

For someone that has a tendancy to be needy- I am betting that she is addicted to the rush of a new relationship. It's not likely she'll be able to make a ldr work if she's as needy as I am betting she is.

[JohnEl]

For someone that has a tendancy to be needy- I am betting that she is addicted to the rush of a new relationship. It's not likely she'll be able to make a ldr work if she's as needy as I am betting she is.

 

i know i shouldnt even worry about it. i need to continue NC and just do my thing. i need to get myself better and not worry about her. if it was meant to be, shell come back. if she doesnt, then it wasnt meant to be and we would have broke up at some point down the line anyway. i really miss the comfort and companionship tho. we were so close and it took such a long time to get to that point. she was basically family to me and my family. i dont want to start over. but i guess she does.

[JohnEl]

For someone that has a tendancy to be needy- I am betting that she is addicted to the rush of a new relationship. It's not likely she'll be able to make a ldr work if she's as needy as I am betting she is.

 

i dont know if shes addicted to the rush of a new relationship. she really wanted to make it work with me, she did. but she felt like i didnt. i didnt show her how much i cared even tho it was hard to, it was long distance for the last 6 months. like i said, i did a few things to make her think that i didnt care. but thats wasnt true, i did care. one time when she came in town to visit for a weekend, i spent one night at the casino with guy friends. she was really upset about that. and the day she was suppose to move home, a few weeks ago, a bunch of friends made plans to go on a float trip that same day. i told her i was going to go on the float trip and then see her the next day and everyday after that forever. she took that as if i didnt care for her and im sure her friends and parents all agreed and looked at that and only that but didnt look at all the things i did do for her.

[D-Lish]

i dont know if shes addicted to the rush of a new relationship. she really wanted to make it work with me, she did. but she felt like i didnt. i didnt show her how much i cared even tho it was hard to, it was long distance for the last 6 months. like i said, i did a few things to make her think that i didnt care. but thats wasnt true, i did care. one time when she came in town to visit for a weekend, i spent one night at the casino with guy friends. she was really upset about that. and the day she was suppose to move home, a few weeks ago, a bunch of friends made plans to go on a float trip that same day. i told her i was going to go on the float trip and then see her the next day and everyday after that forever. she took that as if i didnt care for her and im sure her friends and parents all agreed and looked at that and only that but didnt look at all the things i did do for her.

 

No reasonable gf would take that to mean you don't care. I think her saying that you that you made her feel like you didn't want to work things out is BS.

 

You're a young guy, spending time with your friends once and a while is perfectly acceptable!!! Relationships are about balance, give and take... And using those things as an excuse to say you didn't care enough about her is a load of crap. The fact that SHE couldn't see all the things you DID do for her and only focused on the times when you didn't do what she wanted you to says a lot about what was her part in the demise of your relationship.

 

You're taking all the blame, partially because she has made you feel blamed. I think you're forgetting that her expectations were pretty overboard... And it's hard to live up to that.

[JohnEl]

No reasonable gf would take that to mean you don't care. I think her saying that you that you made her feel like you didn't want to work things out is BS.

 

You're a young guy, spending time with your friends once and a while is perfectly acceptable!!! Relationships are about balance, give and take... And using those things as an excuse to say you didn't care enough about her is a load of crap. The fact that SHE couldn't see all the things you DID do for her and only focused on the times when you didn't do what she wanted you to says a lot about what was her part in the demise of your relationship.

 

You're taking all the blame, partially because she has made you feel blamed. I think you're forgetting that her expectations were pretty overboard... And it's hard to live up to that.

 

ive got her on this pedistal. like she was the greatest person in the world and i blew it. all i can think about is the good things about her and the things i miss. its so much harder knowing that she wants to be with someone else so quickly. thats like salt in the wound. i never imagined her with anyone else. and it all happened so quickly.

[D-Lish]

ive got her on this pedistal. like she was the greatest person in the world and i blew it. all i can think about is the good things about her and the things i miss. its so much harder knowing that she wants to be with someone else so quickly. thats like salt in the wound. i never imagined her with anyone else. and it all happened so quickly.

 

I know how you feel, I've been where you are. I put my ex on a pedestal as well- even though he doesn't deserve it, I think we all do it when we get rejected. It's also natural to blame ourselves when someone leaves us- of course we are going to believe that something must have been wrong about us when someone chooses to leave.

[JohnEl]

I know how you feel, I've been where you are. I put my ex on a pedestal as well- even though he doesn't deserve it, I think we all do it when we get rejected. It's also natural to blame ourselves when someone leaves us- of course we are going to believe that something must have been wrong about us when someone chooses to leave.

 

i know i neglected her a little bit. i didnt think it was to the point that she wanted to break up tho. i never thought she would. this is hard but i just gotta keep on keepin on. if she ever comes back then great but i cant sit around and hope she does bc there is about a 99% chance she isnt coming back. i gotta learn from this and make myself better. so if i am able to find someone else, i wont make the same mistakes. i just hope i find someone bc i really miss being in a relationship with someone who really cares for me.

[D-Lish]

i know i neglected her a little bit. i didnt think it was to the point that she wanted to break up tho. i never thought she would. this is hard but i just gotta keep on keepin on. if she ever comes back then great but i cant sit around and hope she does bc there is about a 99% chance she isnt coming back. i gotta learn from this and make myself better. so if i am able to find someone else, i wont make the same mistakes. i just hope i find someone bc i really miss being in a relationship with someone who really cares for me.

 

I am betting what she considers neglect is probably not what less needy women would consider neglect.

 

I've told you before, she relied on you for her happiness, and she's going to do the same with this new guy.

 

You're young, this girl won't be your first love.

[JohnEl]

I think she was my first love. Hopefully just not the last.

[D-Lish]

I think she was my first love. Hopefully just not the last.

 

How old are you? 23ish? It won't be the last, I promise you that.

When I look back and remember my first love and how heartbroken I was... I barely remember the person 20 years later. I feel that was about all my ex's once I am over them.

[Bito]

Your story is very close to mine...

 

I dated a girl just like yours from the way you described her. We were doing the LDR thing as well when she was at school. I felt the same way about her as you did about your ex. She was my everything. I thought I was hers. She told me how she would die without me. How we would be together forever.

 

I loved her so damn much. I was a fantastic boyfriend until the last couple months when i was working full time and finishing school.

 

I found out at the end of last May she had been cheating on me for about a month at least with another guy. I was devastated. I wanted to try and make it work but she wouldn't. She told me how the distance has been hard and I did not talk to her enough. She tried to make it seem like she still loved me and string me along as well. But the Truth is she never loved me and she never loved you.

 

People like them dont know how to love.

 

Do yourself a huge favor and start moving forward with your life. Demonize her in your mind. She was not perfect. No one is. Why would you want to be with someone who cares so little for you?

 

She does not deserve to be on that pedestal. You do.

 

Work hard. pickup a hobby, and hit the gym. Things will get better!

Edited August 16, 2011 by Bito

[JohnEl]

Your story is very close to mine...

 

I dated a girl just like yours from the way you described her. We were doing the LDR thing as well when she was at school. I felt the same way about her as you did about your ex. She was my everything. I thought I was hers. She told me how she would die without me. How we would be together forever.

 

I loved her so damn much. I was a fantastic boyfriend until the last couple months when i was working full time and finishing school.

 

I found out at the end of last May she had been cheating on me for about a month at least with another guy. I was devastated. I wanted to try and make it work but she wouldn't. She told me how the distance has been hard and I did not talk to her enough. She tried to make it seem like she still loved me and string me along as well. But the Truth is she never loved me and she never loved you.

 

People like them dont know how to love.

 

Do yourself a huge favor and start moving forward with your life. Demonize her in your mind. She was not perfect. No one is. Why would you want to be with someone who cares so little for you?

 

She does not deserve to be on that pedestal. You do.

 

Work hard. pickup a hobby, and hit the gym. Things will get better!

 

i dont think my ex was cheating on me, at least physically. she might have had something for this other guy but never acted on it. i think that her decision to break up with me was affected by this guy. like she knew she had him to fall back on if me and her broke up. she saw that the relationship with me needed some work and she didnt want to work on it so she went to the new, fun and work-free relationship with this new A-hole. she thinks that relationships should be all fun and games and never fight. but arguments are part of a relationship and they need to be adressed and worked on. its easy to just walk away when things are rough. its not fair tho but i guess nothing is fair in love and war. so whatever, im gonna make myself better and get someone who really cares about me and is willing to put more effort into a relationship.