YoungT Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 (edited) So I was dating a ex-co worker for several months and we only hung out about one day a week, two on a good week. She seemed very into me whenever we were together always getting as close to me as possible calling me babe and love. We shared our pasts with each other and I cared for her greatly and everything was going great until over the course of 24 hours she did a 180. Ok so after a dinner and Movie, it was her first time coming to my house we had always hung out at her place. I spent the whole day cleaning. After the movie on the ride home she mentioned her moms bf was at her place an she didnt like him so i offered for her to stay the night, She accept with no hesitation. Up until this point all we had done was make out and thigh/butt action. (2nd base) During the night we did not "make love" and i told her that all i wanted to do was please her, and thats all that happened you can prob imagine all that. She clearly enjoyed herself and told me how safe and comftorable she was in my room while she walked around naked. Two days later I invite her to spend a weekend vacation with me at a summer house, She very exited and agrees, we talk about when we will hang out next. She is busy next nights but we gonna hang out that Friday. Needless to say she stands me up Friday with no call or text, Night before she was at a bar. She doesn't contact me for 4 or 5 days then when we finally talk. She tells me that " I scared her that night and i should have brought her home when she asked (she never did) and that i practically forced her to hook up (even though she told me she wasn't wearing underwear so it was easy for me and the whole naked feeling safe thing" and that i cant act like that with other girls and never to contact her again" Needless to say i lost it, i said that was all bs and what happened to make her say that, she replied "Your Crazy, Bye. Never contact me again." I know that she made this up or why would she have accepted my invitation for the vaction or plan to hang out ina couple days. She was my first love or what i thought was love and i just don't understand what happened. I wrote her a letter saying "I don't know what i did, or what happened but i didnt do anything wrong but I'm sorry you feel i did. Can i make it up to you and if not i would like to not be enemies. please let me know if you read this. She never responded. WHAT THE **** HAppENED? Edited August 11, 2011 by YoungT
Disillusioned Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 It can't be helped, the female brain is wired for mean-spiritedness. If you don't want to get hurt, do like I did and buy a Realdoll. A real woman without schadenfreude is not 100% of a woman. Simple as that.
thatone Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 grats on the first entry into the "psycho ex" category. there are plenty more where that one came from, enjoy the ride.
rightfield Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 As long as you aren't leaving anything out, yeah, she's nuts. Don't let it get inside your head. You aren't missing anything. She's bat$hit crazy and just be glad you didn't end up married or have a child with her.
youngskywalker Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 (edited) Wow, crazy story. Just be glad she is gone. It really sounds like she has some short circuiting in the stability section of her brain. But your question was "what happened"? One possibility is she just lost interest and felt bad about it. So she shifted the blame on you to make herself look innocent. Don't believe her excuse about what happened at your place that night. Even if she wasn't ready, but she LIKED you it wouldn't cause her to bail like that. What I'm saying is... don't blame yourself. Edited August 11, 2011 by youngskywalker
Pierre Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 So I was dating a ex-co worker for several months and we only hung out about one day a week, two on a good week. She seemed very into me whenever we were together always getting as close to me as possible calling me babe and love. We shared our pasts with each other and I cared for her greatly and everything was going great until over the course of 24 hours she did a 180. Ok so after a dinner and Movie, it was her first time coming to my house we had always hung out at her place. I spent the whole day cleaning. After the movie on the ride home she mentioned her moms bf was at her place an she didnt like him so i offered for her to stay the night, She accept with no hesitation. Up until this point all we had done was make out and thigh/butt action. (2nd base) During the night we did not "make love" and i told her that all i wanted to do was please her, and thats all that happened you can prob imagine all that. She clearly enjoyed herself and told me how safe and comftorable she was in my room while she walked around naked. Two days later I invite her to spend a weekend vacation with me at a summer house, She very exited and agrees, we talk about when we will hang out next. She is busy next nights but we gonna hang out that Friday. Needless to say she stands me up Friday with no call or text, Night before she was at a bar. She doesn't contact me for 4 or 5 days then when we finally talk. She tells me that " I scared her that night and i should have brought her home when she asked (she never did) and that i practically forced her to hook up (even though she told me she wasn't wearing underwear so it was easy for me and the whole naked feeling safe thing" and that i cant act like that with other girls and never to contact her again" Needless to say i lost it, i said that was all bs and what happened to make her say that, she replied "Your Crazy, Bye. Never contact me again." I know that she made this up or why would she have accepted my invitation for the vaction or plan to hang out ina couple days. She was my first love or what i thought was love and i just don't understand what happened. I wrote her a letter saying "I don't know what i did, or what happened but i didnt do anything wrong but I'm sorry you feel i did. Can i make it up to you and if not i would like to not be enemies. please let me know if you read this. She never responded. WHAT THE **** HAppENED? Maybe she is seeing another guy and she freaked out after she got very close to have intercourse with you. It seems she was happier with the EA and no sex deal. Makes me think she could have another guy and perhaps you were the OM to supply an EA.
bluenightowl Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 One possibility is she just lost interest and felt bad about it. So she shifted the blame on you to make herself look innocent. Don't believe her excuse about what happened at your place that night. Even if she wasn't ready, but she LIKED you it wouldn't cause her to bail like that. What I'm saying is... don't blame yourself. This sounds about right to me. I highly suspect she also has another guy who is showing interest in her that she might like more, and she is trying to back out of this by blaming you. Your best bet is to try not to think about this too much and never ever contact her again.
eah Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 So, obviously she lied to you. But, is it possible there was a little nugget of truth in there. Maybe she was just freaked out when you asked her on a weekend vacation after the first time you spent the night together. Mabye it was moving too fast for her, and she handled it badly by lying and making you feel bad instead of her confronting what she was really feeling. Most people will blame other people for things way before they look inside themselves and see the bad.
bluenightowl Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 So, obviously she lied to you. But, is it possible there was a little nugget of truth in there. Maybe she was just freaked out when you asked her on a weekend vacation after the first time you spent the night together. Mabye it was moving too fast for her, and she handled it badly by lying and making you feel bad instead of her confronting what she was really feeling. Most people will blame other people for things way before they look inside themselves and see the bad. I think eah might have a good point, and it might be too fast for her, but then you have to ask why is it suddenly too fast when she participated willingly. Sure, I've moved too fast as well and then pulled back. But its usually because the situation forced me to realize this isn't what I wanted or at least was not sure because I had options.
Author YoungT Posted August 11, 2011 Author Posted August 11, 2011 That was all for the most part my conclusion as well, i figured she was crazy or i was the OM. Thanks Everyone, my family and friends told me that but sometimes you need a view from a stranger.
Author YoungT Posted August 11, 2011 Author Posted August 11, 2011 grats on the first entry into the "psycho ex" category. there are plenty more where that one came from, enjoy the ride. Lol, Thanks for making what i thought to be rare seem not. haha aaah **** this dating game is gunna b rough
thatone Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Lol, Thanks for making what i thought to be rare seem not. haha aaah **** this dating game is gunna b rough it isn't really, you get jaded to it after awhile. very few people are clever enough to make up believable lies and false behavior patterns, you see the same thing over and over and pretty soon you can spot the truth a mile away.
ascendotum Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 From what you wrote it certainly seems like you did not say or do something that night she was at your place, given she was walking around naked and was still chirpy 2 days later over the vacation call, so don't beat yourself up over this. It all changed following the thur night she hung out at a bar. I could guess she hooked & had sex with some guy hotter than you. She's now gaga over this guy, but instead of doing a slow fade from you, or saying she is also seeing another guy she likes better, she has done the 180. Demonised you in her mind so she feels better about dropping you (also ensuring NC from you) and cherishing new guy. I'd be shocked if you got a response to your letter, given her BS exit conversation on the phone. Pierre's scenario where another guy has been on the scene for a while, is also very likely.
Untouchable_Fire Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 It can't be helped, the female brain is wired for mean-spiritedness. I've often thought that at times too. Why should I have to walk on egg shells for 3 days a month?
Author YoungT Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 From what you wrote it certainly seems like you did not say or do something that night she was at your place, given she was walking around naked and was still chirpy 2 days later over the vacation call, so don't beat yourself up over this. It all changed following the thur night she hung out at a bar. I could guess she hooked & had sex with some guy hotter than you. She's now gaga over this guy, but instead of doing a slow fade from you, or saying she is also seeing another guy she likes better, she has done the 180. Demonised you in her mind so she feels better about dropping you (also ensuring NC from you) and cherishing new guy. I'd be shocked if you got a response to your letter, given her BS exit conversation on the phone. Pierre's scenario where another guy has been on the scene for a while, is also very likely. O yea it was via Text. Only reason i dont think she had sex with a guy is because i know she is very umm prude, you say how do i can. i say physically i know.
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