mavlast Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 but I need some advice. I feel like I'm being used, but I at least want to hear her side of the story. Here's what happened. On Saturday she texted me twice and we talked some. I asked her if we could go out this week, and she said that she'd have to ask her parents because there were "family problems.". Then she stopped responding to my texts for a while and didn't contact me for two days. I texted her to see if we could talk, and no response. Then this morning she said "Sorry, I was at work, came home at midnight, and crashed.". She said that she would contact me tonight (on the phone) after her church services. I find her behaviour bizarre, and to say that I'm getting a little tired of it is an understatement. This is not the first time that she's left me in the dark for days. Crazy things have happened (like an unexpectedly short illness and these "problems") and then she resurfaces days later with an explanation that really fails to explain her long absence. It seems like she gets around to me "at her earliest convenience.". I know you have work, family, etc., but for Christ's sake find some time to talk. The only reason that I'm even talking to her anymore is that we had a pretty strong mutual interest, and for the first week we pretty much talked non-stop. I want to at least see if there is a diamond in the rough like I thought there was. So how do I handle this conversation later? I'm thinking about asking her very neutrally about the past week or so, and then asking what her parents said. If the answer is no or indefinite, or heaven forbid she was "too busy to ask," then I'll have to put an end to things, or at least ask her openly why she's reluctant to meet. If yes, then we'll see what happens. What do you think about the conversation later and this situation in general?
GG3 Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Too many excuses. Sometimes things really do happen, but it seems awfully difficult for her to make a little time to meet you. I say be nice about it and leave it open-ended, but move on and focus on meeting other people. No sense wasting more time on someone who might be playing around and is not really interested.
K.K. Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 (edited) The writing's on the wall, babe. :-( Interest fading. Don't be at her beck and call anymore. I think maybe nobody answers these threads because it's too sad to read the story and be able to clearly see what somebody else doesn't wanna. It hurts a little. Just like ugh poor guy, ya know .. :-( Edited August 11, 2011 by K.K.
Author mavlast Posted August 11, 2011 Author Posted August 11, 2011 Yeah, I suppose you're right. I mean, it stings that there was once something there. But why does she keep contacting me? If you're not interested, stop; if you are ...
GG3 Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 (edited) Yeah, I suppose you're right. I mean, it stings that there was once something there. But why does she keep contacting me? If you're not interested, stop; if you are ... Hard to say why some people will do that. I've had it happen to me too. If you leave it open ended as in telling her to let you know if she decides to meet, but cut off the chit chat, that would kind of leave more incentive for her to s* or get off the pot. And if she never initiates, then you know the answer. And in the meantime, you are not sitting around spending your time on someone that might be jerking you around. Edited August 11, 2011 by GG3
dizy Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Being extremely busy myself, I can tell you that this kind of situation happens very often with my friends. they want to see me but I just cant find the time to meet them (I usually have to plan my schedules in advance so basically if they want to see me they have to tell me weeks in advance ) but to be honest, if I really want to see someone I WILL take a day off and hours of bus ride to see that person. If you already made yourself clear that you were interested to see her and know her more and she still acts the same way, then you should move on. I am not saying that she is lying about being busy, having family problems etc, but if she wants to see you she will find the time to do so. Dont worry, maybe it's just not a good time for her. I know how it feels when all you want is to get to know the person more and he/she doesn't even seem to be interested by that , but it's ok we all survive and end up finding someone else
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