is it wrong to file bankruptcy after encumbering a bill for vasectomy reversal?

[njcky]

Thank you all for participating in my life. I wonder what advice you give the adulterers at this site when they ask what to do when the wife finds out. I dont remember anyone getting this angry at the chronic smoking parents. you all are right and it is dishonest. I felt that it was but I was looking for some hope here. Not hate.

[moimeme]

Why is it that people do something they know to be wrong and then expect everybody to love them for doing it ????????

[befuddled11]

Originally posted by njcky

Thank you all for participating in my life.

 

You came here, telling us about your life, asking for advice, asking us if it was wrong to be dishonest about the vasectomy-reversal thing......and we obliged...yet know you're judging us for doing what you asked for?

 

I wonder what advice you give the adulterers at this site when they ask what to do when the wife finds out.

 

What "we" advise adulterers at this site to do when they get caught by their wife has to do with your situation is beyond me. What does one have to do with the other? And if you browse the forums, you'll see that most of us have little tolerance or sympathy for those who cheat on their spouses.

 

I dont remember anyone getting this angry at the chronic smoking parents.

 

Again, what does that have to do with your situation? Are you just trying to turn this all around because you didn't appreciate reading "the truth"?

 

you all are right and it is dishonest. I felt that it was but I was looking for some hope here. Not hate.

 

What kind of hope could we give you? You still don't get it. YOU made the CHOICE to get involved with someone who:

 

a) brought to the marriage, a horrible financial mess

b) made the decision 3 yrs ago to surgically alter his body so that he could not have any more children

 

What kind of hope were you hoping to get? That you might win the lottery? That the Stork will bring you a baby next week?

 

If having children was so important to you, as it seems it is, you should have never gotten involved with someone who previously made the probably-permanent decision to see to it that he never fathers a child again. Are you sure he even WANTS to have this reversal done? Or is it just YOUR WISH? Most guys who decide to have a vasectomy put a helluva lot of thought into such a permanent decision. If he's got children who are near teenage years, he may deep down inside not want to go through it all again. He could be telling you otherwise but knowing full well that it's not what he truly wants.

 

Even if you win the lottery tomorrow, and he has the surgery......there's definitely no guarantee that it will even work...particularly depending on HOW his vasectomy was done, how much scarring is there, etc. But by marrying him, you took that high risk so you have to be prepared to not have children with him. That's not our fault, I'm afraid.

[26thAquarius]

Oh my little naive one......."Why do we have to pay for her bills? We do. We make more money than she does, so even though she is in contempt, all the judge can do is put her in jail. We however, are still going to have to pay, because that is how screwed up America is. "

 

You said it yourself...SHE is in contempt of court!! As for America, WE(American Citizens) have nothing to do with your intelligence, or in this case, lack thereof.

 

"Okay all you know so muchers"....We dont't claim to know it all. But you did ask for advice......and your wish was our command.

 

"What is even more screwed up is that you all or most of you are saying that marriage is a business. Marriage is about love"........Wake up and smell the green!! Marriage is about love? You may very well have a point..."I love his new BMW"..I love the expensive clothing he wears." I LOVE that HUGE ROCK(diamond ) that he put on my finger." Unfortuantely in today's society, people not only love eachother for who eachother is, but also for what they are worth. Considering your statements in your post(s), you appear to be young(mentally) at least, and may not have much dealings with society. WAKE UP GIRL!! REALITY CHECK!!

 

"Don't feel sorry for me that i learned the truth about life here. I have know the thruth about life since I was 13. "....Now who told you that lie?! If you even had the slightest inkling about life, you would know that it is not only immoral and unethical to LIE AND STEAL BY DECEPTION, but it is also ILLEGAL.

 

Don't preach to ANYONE about GOD AND FAITH. "Thall shall not steal".....hmmm...sound familiar.????

 

You want to quote greek philosophers huh??

 

 

St. Thomas Aquinas.."An efficent cause is always prior to the thing caused"

 

Immanuel Kant....3 basic duties...

1. Always tell the truth

2. Always keep your promises

3. Never use people as a means to an end.

 

Philosophy is not just YOU reading a quote and understanding it, then posting it thinking you "got a good comeback"

 

When you grow up and realize that there is more to life then your husband, his ex-wife, and your intent to STEAL...DECEPTIVELY...then maybe you may see brighter days.

 

Until then........PLEASE!

:bunny:

[tiki]

I learned of this scripture in church last Sunday and really got a lot out of it. I deal with people abusing the welfare system of the United States on a daily basis.

 

2 Thes. 3:10 - For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.

 

Just wanted to share that it even says in the BIBLE that if you don't work, you don't eat. And another rant, no healthcare is free. SOMEONE is paying for it...it happens to be you and I!!!

[befuddled11]

Originally posted by tikibrandy

 

2 Thes. 3:10 - For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.

 

 

AMEN! Welfare and Social assistance (here in Canada) should be a total "last resort"..and it should merely be used as a temporary "stepping stone" to getting your life together and becoming a self-reliant, contributing member of society.

 

So many people are lazy and just want handouts...they figure by virtue of being an inhabitant of the Planet Earth, they are entitled to handouts.

 

I figure that anyone who's collecting welfare, they should be at LEAST expected to put in 8 hrs a day doing something: picking up trash in the ditches, helping out at a Soup kitchen or homeless shelter, stuffing envelopes, planting flowers in a local park, SOMETHING!!

[HokeyReligions]

njcky, I see how you are getting defensive, but try to back up a minute and realize that your original post has angered a LOT of people.

 

First; Love and marriage and parenting have NOTHING to do with filing bankruptcy. To use love, desire, wants, etc. as an excuse or justification to doing something that is unethical and illegal is disgusting and will anger a LOT of people. You should also be aware that in many cases, elective surgery is not going to be covered under a bankruptcy and if you try this you might be prosecuted and jailed. If I were a doctor and a patient did this I would NOT accept the bankruptcy and I would make sure that charges were filed against the person committing the crime.

 

There is an old saying that goes something like this; "if you wait until you can afford a child, you will never have one" That is true for most people! But when you have a child, or children, you find ways, LEGAL and MORAL and ETHICAL ways to afford those children and take care of them.

 

You say you are in school and you can pay your bills and the biggest thing is getting the surgery reversed so that you can hopefully conceive a child. Find a legal way to do this. Find someone to loan you the money. Talk to your attorney about his ex wife's debts. Who told you that he is responsible for 100% of them if she defaults? There are all sorts of legal rights and resources that you are not aware of.

 

A friend of ours went through something similar. His ex wife ran up all the credit cards, took out a student loan and another large unsecured loan prior to their divorce being finalized. She never told her husband and he didn't find out about all of this until after the divorce and she refused to pay the bills. He thought that he was legally responsible because the CREDITORS said he was according to their contracts. They threatened him with legal action and sent bill collectors (including a sheriff) to his house, and said they would reposses his car as payment for one of her debts, but they could not legally do that. He found an attorney and was able to find some loopholes (I don't know what they were) that reduced his share of the debt and eliminated his responsibility totally in the case of the student loan. He didn't have to file bankruptcy, but he did consider it. Yes, he did have to pay some of the debt, but he made payment schedules that he could afford, he sold some things, and he did it. If he had filed bankruptcy it would have been a last resort and he certainly would not have tried to run up some huge bills first! That is a crime punishable by fines and imprisonment.

 

 

Don't confuse loving your husband, wanting a child, and commiting a criminal act.

[FolderWife]

That's not fair I want to have a boob job, and have you guys pay for it!

 

Why do you pay his ex wife's bills? If she's not paying them, therefore you are FORCED to pay them...then just DON'T PAY THEM! Filing Bankruptcy will hurt your credit a LOT MORE than not paying a few bills.

 

Just pay for your own bills, and don't pay hers. Don't file bankruptsy though...at least be an honest person.

[moimeme]

So many people are lazy and just want handouts...they figure by virtue of being an inhabitant of the Planet Earth, they are entitled to handouts.

 

This is SUCH a myth. There are some lazy ones, so of course people cite them as examples even when the majority of people are in desperate need.

 

There, but for the grace of God, go all of us. I have friends in town suffering with chronic debilitating conditions that keep them from work. They live in constant poverty. They would LOVE to be able to be healthy enough to work, but they're not. And they were hit with these things later in life so you acn roll along thinking you're going to be able to work and earn good pay for your whole life and then BAM - you're hit with some sort of ailment and you, too, are 'one of those people'. Just pray like heck that you are spared such a fate.

 

[befuddled11]

Originally posted by moimeme

So many people are lazy and just want handouts...they figure by virtue of being an inhabitant of the Planet Earth, they are entitled to handouts.

 

This is SUCH a myth. There are some lazy ones, so of course people cite them as examples even when the majority of people are in desperate need.

 

There, but for the grace of God, go all of us. I have friends in town suffering with chronic debilitating conditions that keep them from work. They live in constant poverty. They would LOVE to be able to be healthy enough to work, but they're not. And they were hit with these things later in life so you acn roll along thinking you're going to be able to work and earn good pay for your whole life and then BAM - you're hit with some sort of ailment and you, too, are 'one of those people'. Just pray like heck that you are spared such a fate.

 

 

Geez, I would have thought it went without saying that I was referring to people who ARE fully physically and mentally capable of working, versus those who have legitimate illnesses who are not.

 

Anyone on welfare and here in Canada, on EI (employment insurance benefits), who's obviously capable of working, SHOULD be doing something to contribute...otherwise all they're doing is abusing the system and taking advantage of a system that's in place for those who truly need it.

 

I used to live in a mill town on the west coast. A lot of guys worked up the coast during the fishing season, making over $100,000 CDN over a 4 month period....cash, under the table. When fishing season was over, they'd conveniently apply for, and GET, EI benefits. These were young, strapping healthy guys in their 20s and early 30s..fully capable of getting various jobs: construction, working at the local mill (for good money), logging, etc etc. But no, they preferred to spend the rest of the year p*ssing their "under the table" earnings away, drinking and partying......and collecting EI.

[BlueHeavens]

I think there are definitely some cases of legitimate need...but also plenty of fraud in the system. This fraud may prevent folks who truly are in need of getting the benefit. I work in a pharmacy, where I wait on people and know if they have public aid and I am tired of seeing the fake nails, the fancy leather coats and designer clothes, gold and jewels, plus a car nicer than the one I drive (which is a nice new BMW, not a slouchy car! it's amazing what we see in the drive thru) and having these people present me with a public aid card. It has made me sick for years...how the heck do these people sleep at night? Way off the original topic here...

[tiki]

I used to work for a free clinic for homeless and indigent patients (on top of working 3 yrs for a Medicaid clinic). My days as a volunteer stopped short when the patient pulled up in a Jaguar. I was at wits end and I quit volunteering. Plus, besides the fact that the patients treated me like total sh*t.

 

I do know that some people are more needy than others. And my perception of the verse is that yeah, work if you *are* able. We've got people taking clear and full advantage of the welfare system. If you can work, then guess what, get up off your a$$ and do it just like me, every SINGLE day. I'm a single mom and I could utilize the welfare system if I wanted...but I don't WANT. And I'm better than that. I get out there and work and make an honest living.

 

Peace.