Author verhrzn Posted August 10, 2011 Author Posted August 10, 2011 I agree.... and... why hire a hooker if he can get it for free from the OP?? This last one is the worst... Except... he's not getting it from me? I'm not quite sure why you guys are telling me I can break the pattern by not letting them string me along... I HAVEN'T let them string me along. With all of these guys, I stopped once I realized their disinterest-I didn't reply back to either of the guys online, I haven't been expecting a relationship from the last guy (his behavior just annoys me, cause I feel like he's TRYING to manipulate me when there is no need to...) But the thing is, these are the only guys who are showing any interest in me at all, even if it is only a little... There hasn't BEEN a guy who has pursued me. In fact, of all my relationships (I've had 4 boyfriends) only one of them pursued me. And that's what makes me think I maybe just don't belong in a relationship... That my entire life, I've only found one guy who I didn't have to persuade to date me, and it seems like that pattern is just continuing... Also, I don't think the problem is me liking nerds. They're who I like, and who even have a chance of liking me. Seriously, "normal MEN" just are NOT attracted to me; I'm too nerdy and weird for them.
Professor X Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 Except... he's not getting it from me? I'm not quite sure why you guys are telling me I can break the pattern by not letting them string me along... I HAVEN'T let them string me along. With all of these guys, I stopped once I realized their disinterest-I didn't reply back to either of the guys online, I haven't been expecting a relationship from the last guy (his behavior just annoys me, cause I feel like he's TRYING to manipulate me when there is no need to...) But the thing is, these are the only guys who are showing any interest in me at all, even if it is only a little... There hasn't BEEN a guy who has pursued me. In fact, of all my relationships (I've had 4 boyfriends) only one of them pursued me. And that's what makes me think I maybe just don't belong in a relationship... That my entire life, I've only found one guy who I didn't have to persuade to date me, and it seems like that pattern is just continuing... Also, I don't think the problem is me liking nerds. They're who I like, and who even have a chance of liking me. Seriously, "normal MEN" just are NOT attracted to me; I'm too nerdy and weird for them. I think you need to take things into perspective: There are many people who dated only 1 person their life and it failed; There are many people who had 10 long RS in their life and they all failed; There are many people who only dated! Never got to the RS part; And there are people who never dated... Never kissed... Never held hands. Okai, so you need to do a little bit of work, big deal.. Doesn't mean you're not worthy or anything, only means that the circle of men you like is the kind that is shy, that's all. Oh and, we both know nerdy men are the best!
iJester Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 You consider making out a 'benefit'. Pffft Anyway, what do you mean when you say nerdy and weird? I'm nerdy and weird, but I'm still sociable and able to talk to anyone.
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 Except... he's not getting it from me? I'm not quite sure why you guys are telling me I can break the pattern by not letting them string me along... I HAVEN'T let them string me along. With all of these guys, I stopped once I realized their disinterest-I didn't reply back to either of the guys online, I haven't been expecting a relationship from the last guy (his behavior just annoys me, cause I feel like he's TRYING to manipulate me when there is no need to...) But the thing is, these are the only guys who are showing any interest in me at all, even if it is only a little... There hasn't BEEN a guy who has pursued me. In fact, of all my relationships (I've had 4 boyfriends) only one of them pursued me. And that's what makes me think I maybe just don't belong in a relationship... That my entire life, I've only found one guy who I didn't have to persuade to date me, and it seems like that pattern is just continuing... Also, I don't think the problem is me liking nerds. They're who I like, and who even have a chance of liking me. Seriously, "normal MEN" just are NOT attracted to me; I'm too nerdy and weird for them. I apologize if I sounded a little flippant before... I know you weren't having sex with him... it sounds like he is going through the motions now HOPING to get sex though. At the least, he is not being consistent. He might have changed his mind and now wants a relationship. But I've never seen one work out that started with that comment. One of the things I look for first from a potential suitor is consistency in their words and actions. Ever see that movie "He's just not that into you"? Great movie. Really puts the internal dialogue on "does he or doesn't he" stuff on hold... and in the big scheme of things, we all have better things to do than try to mind read, huh?? FYI... none of us have it figured out. We all have our down periods where we doubt ourselves and feel like nothing is working. There has to be SOME things that have worked for you in the past... or things that made you feel good and worthwhile. Tap into that... build on it.
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 FYI... I'm a bonafide nerd/geek. Have the 'piled higher and deeper' in a technical field to show for it. Spent alot of time feeling like a freak about it too, but can't be any other way. The first step is being proud of who you are. Seek out like-minded people. Sounds like you are!!! That's good. Yes, and I will also vouch that nerds/geeks don't tend to be the slickest in terms of social skills or reading emotions. I've taken on the role of initiator many times. Shoot, I had to grab my (now ex-husband) by the tie and kiss him the first time. My good female friend did something similar with her husband (a fellow geek). They had been seeing each other for a month and he hadn't made a move to kiss her. She grabbed him and kissed him. They've been married for 10 years now and have two great kids...
Professor X Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 FYI... I'm a bonafide nerd/geek. Have the 'piled higher and deeper' in a technical field to show for it. Spent alot of time feeling like a freak about it too, but can't be any other way. The first step is being proud of who you are. Seek out like-minded people. Sounds like you are!!! That's good. Yes, and I will also vouch that nerds/geeks don't tend to be the slickest in terms of social skills or reading emotions. I've taken on the role of initiator many times. Shoot, I had to grab my (now ex-husband) by the tie and kiss him the first time. My good female friend did something similar with her husband (a fellow geek). They had been seeing each other for a month and he hadn't made a move to kiss her. She grabbed him and kissed him. They've been married for 10 years now and have two great kids... I like this response. And also a thing to consider: You're a geek and as such I am sure that those "men" you speak of that are not interested in you, well, you won't be much interested in them too once you get to know them (oh and I know, I'm a geek myself and normal women never interest me - to boring, only the freakish/nerdy/smart type )
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