Mrlonelyone Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 (edited) This is really about sexual harassment but it conforms to what many many of us have observed(VIDEO). Sexually attractive man says hi with.... he gets asked out. Sexually unattractive man says hi... he gets escorted out by police. Edited August 4, 2011 by Mrlonelyone
sagetalk Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Funny video. Creepy = not hot. There are millions of dads and brothers who wish women hated real creeps, they, unintentionally and sadly, do not.
mo mo Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 It's true. There's this older lady at work that hits on me all the time. I keep avoiding her and she doesn't seem to get the hint that I don't like that kind of attention. The other day I was seriously thinking about filing a complaint. If she was hot it would be a different story ;-)
misssmartypants Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 It's true. There's this older lady at work that hits on me all the time. I keep avoiding her and she doesn't seem to get the hint that I don't like that kind of attention. The other day I was seriously thinking about filing a complaint. If she was hot it would be a different story ;-) But if she was hot, you'd have accepted her advances. Its not that she's unattractive, its that you turned her down and yet she keeps asking. The harassment comes in when the attention won't go away. Guys who says it because they are unattractive are just clueless. Any one has a right to say to me "hey, lets get some coffee", but if I decline and don't offer a rain check, then don't ask again. Don't make comments about my butt to male students, and don't stand behind me and read over my shoulder so you can look down my top. Just sayin.
mo mo Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 But if she was hot, you'd have accepted her advances. Its not that she's unattractive, its that you turned her down and yet she keeps asking. The harassment comes in when the attention won't go away. Guys who says it because they are unattractive are just clueless. Any one has a right to say to me "hey, lets get some coffee", but if I decline and don't offer a rain check, then don't ask again. Don't make comments about my butt to male students, and don't stand behind me and read over my shoulder so you can look down my top. Just sayin. Don't grab my arms and ass and ask me for a kiss everyday Don't grab my chest after I explicitly express discomfort in the way you just pulled me in for a kiss. Don't talk about how you wish you could hook up with a nice handsome young man if I am working in front of you... yea.... this lady takes it too far.
misssmartypants Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Don't grab my arms and ass and ask me for a kiss everyday Don't grab my chest after I explicitly express discomfort in the way you just pulled me in for a kiss. Don't talk about how you wish you could hook up with a nice handsome young man if I am working in front of you... yea.... this lady takes it too far. I'd turn her ass into HR, these are overt things you can prove. How do I prove that the creep teacher who's like a gazillion feet tall really wasn't reading over my shoulder? (other than the weird little way he rushed around behind me when I showed him the page I was asking about.)
sagetalk Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 How do I prove that the creep teacher who's like a gazillion feet tall really wasn't reading over my shoulder? (other than the weird little way he rushed around behind me when I showed him the page I was asking about.) I'm tall and a college instructor. My female students ask me to look at books all the time and I have to get behind them over their shoulder to see, there is no other way. I never thought about them thinking I was trying to look down their tops (even though you're gonna see something whether you want to or not with some of their outfits), good grief, I'll probably start taking the book from them now .
Author Mrlonelyone Posted August 5, 2011 Author Posted August 5, 2011 @Miss smarty pants. If the woman in mo mo's situation had been attractive the advances would have been wanted. Therefore she would have never been labeled as creepy. To be honest though I'm thinking more about situations like in that video. Where a average man says "hi" and he's "creepy" yet a handsome man says hi....while not wearing pants and with a huge boner...and he gets asked to lunch. Ok the SNL skit is kind of extreme. Women will call men creeps or "stalkers" for little more than standard flirting behavior right from the first instance before any disinterest has been expressed. The point I was trying to for really is this: Chronically single men should approach women they are interested in at least once and stop worrying about weather or not the woman will think their a creep (loser or whatever) and reject them. Just be proud of who you are to such an extent that you don't care so much about what they say. Their rejection of you is their loss. Besides, the real creeps are often good looking users and charming. By the time women learn this such men have left them with an empty bank account and pregnant (or worse).
dasein Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 Chronically single men should approach women they are interested in at least once and stop worrying about weather or not the woman will think their a creep (loser or whatever) and reject them. Just be proud of who you are to such an extent that you don't care so much about what they say. Their rejection of you is their loss. Besides, the real creeps are often good looking users and charming. By the time women learn this such men have left them with an empty bank account and pregnant (or worse). Great advice.
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 But please stop claiming that good looks somehow "excuse" stalking. No matter how compelling the person, or how unappealing, whether he/she attracts a woman/ man & has sexual relations or not, when and if they are told NO, that needs to be respected. Sure, great looking, attractive people of both genders get away with much more dubious or reprehensible behavior in society than those of us who don't posses those gifts. It does not mitigate intrusive, threatening, or abusive behavior. The behavior is what it is, regardless of the looks and pheromone power of the person exhibiting it.
sm1tten Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 I think "creepy" gets so overused. A man hitting on me is not inherently creepy whether I find him attractive or not. A man persistently hitting on me after I have made it clear I'm not interested is creepy whether I find him attractive or not. It's so ridiculous to me how many women are complaining about men not coming up to them and pursuing them when those same women will turn around and label/make fun of/criticise a dude who DARED to approach them because he didn't fit their criteria. And vice versa, because men do it too. When I was teaching I ran into this problem a few times - creepy/harrassing tactics by students. It's one of the reasons I stopped teaching.
rafallus Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 . A man persistently hitting on me after I have made it clear I'm not interested is creepy whether I find him attractive or not. When you're not interested, he's automatically unattractive - I'm not talking about appearance. I agree with OP.
sm1tten Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 When you're not interested, he's automatically unattractive - I'm not talking about appearance. I agree with OP. I was specifically referring to physcial attraction, yes. But there are also men that I find physically and, say, intellectually attractive that I'm not interested in because it's either inappropriate or I'm unavailable - someone that I might be romantically interested in otherwise.
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