1_hangininthere Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 I'm sure this question has been approached before but I don't feel like digging through 50 threads to find out. How long is a reasonable amount of time to take to respond to a text message? I realize we can't always respond quickly because we are at work or it might be rude to the present company. I get that. But if I text a guy Saturday afternoon and say, "Hey, things worked and I can see you tomorrow. Do you want to get together?" and he doesn't respond until after midnight my feeling is screw it he just isn't that interested. In another instance I texted the guy in the morning again on a Saturday (he wasn't at work) and he didn't respond until 8 that night. I responded to his text but didn't hear back until Monday morning (nothing from him on Sunday). He said he didn't see my response until Monday morning. Both of these guys told me they were interested and really liked me. They also acted like I wasn't being fair. Also I was only dating the guys I'm talking about. We weren't in a relationship. So am I overreacting? Or is it better to just dismiss guys when they take too long to respond. My feeling is if they are as interested as they claim they won't take all day to respond. BTW I am not ugly.
Casablanca Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 It sounds like they arent that into you...at least thats how it would be for me...I am very good at responding to texts and it really isnt hard nor time consuming. It wont always be just a couple minutes afterwards...but really how could someone not see a text for over a whole day, does he not look at his phone at all?
sm1tten Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 There's really no way to arbitrate a "reasonable" amount of time. I have my phone on silent most of the time, and I occasionally also don't get a notification of a new text. Even then, I usually respond within an hour or two. In the first case, he could have been busy - when I go out with my friends or my boyfriend, I am extremely detached from my phone and don't check it all. But the context suggests that he should have been expecting to hear from you. So, possibly not very interested. I don't know the context of the second conversation, but I notice people often "drop" text conversations they aren't invested in.
Eddie Edirol Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Texting isnt really the way to gauge someones interest unless they dont respond at all. I dont care when someone responds to a text, I care how they act in person. If we actually get to a date and they are asking questions about me, I know they are interested, and most likely they will respond in text more often. Not everyone is glued to their phones. So wait until you see them in person to judge if they are interested enough. Now if these guys take a day to respond to you, and then they back out of a date, then you can assume theyre not interested. Just dont set any expectations on anyone or any date so that you dont get disappointed.
Author 1_hangininthere Posted August 4, 2011 Author Posted August 4, 2011 My feeling is if a person's actions don't match their words it's always better to believe their actions. Depending on the circumstances, I know I typically respond to a text message within a few hours. In both cases I told them basically what I said here, "If you were interested you wouldn't have waited 8 hours (or a day and a half) to respond." Their response was something to the effect "I am interested but I was busy." I felt like they were trying to string me along.
Star Gazer Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 Texting sucks BECAUSE of the expectation that someone responds right away. What if they're hiking? Rafting? Skiing? At a wedding? In church? Having dinner with their parents or important clients? Or testifying in court? Or at the gym? Or just someone who keeps their phone on silent and doesn't look at it every 5 minutes? Unless you're engaged in a back-and-forth quick dialogue via text, texting should garner no more of an expectation of expediency than email. IMO. And speed of response doesn't really tell you anything. An uninterested guy can very easily (and often will) respond quickly if he's bored on his couch...
TuffCookieX Posted August 4, 2011 Posted August 4, 2011 I find that when a guy is into me and he takes forever to respond, he apologizes and tells me an excuse as to why he couldn't respond ASAP... even if I'm not bothered by the delay. Guys who are indifferent towards me just respond whenever, and if they take a while they give no reason, they continue on as though the conversation was never put on hold. Kind of annoying... I know a lot of you are anti-text but in the 21st century, people don't have face time as much so we have to rely on our gadgets. A lot of guys I know also have a phone-talking phobia. They will have full on texting conversations like stories and all.
nothappyjan Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 I think a text should always be replied to on the same day. Even if a person may be busy they would generally check their phone before they go to bed or when they wake up or lunch time etc. Plus if its a one off time they give a delayed response it's different to every time. If a guy never replied quickly I would assume he wasnt that interested. When I like someone I reply ASAP however if i'm lukewarm about someone i cant be as bothered or even forget to reply to them.
smudge21 Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 I hate this! Texting, not just in relationships but family and friends. You send a text, it's a question and you don't get a response. I mean, you know it's gone through instantly and you're pretty sure they've seen it. It can be so annoying, which is why I hate it with a passion. A phone call should be the only way to go - and no voicemails either, cos they're just as bad. That said, there has been times when I haven't replied and I'm sure the poster here hasn't replied to other peoples texts at times. You just do it without thinking. It'll be from someone who at that moment you can't be bothered to reply to - not in a nasty way, you just can't think what to say or have your mind on something else. It happens. We do it to others so in fairness they do it to us. Same can be said for dating and when a partner (or possible partner) doesn't reply. At that moment they may not want to, may be busy, can't think of what to say, can't commit to a time so will get back to you later, or may just simply like playing the dating game thing of being hard to get - seeing if you'll text again. Right now a girl is a very good friend we text back and forth, but there'll be times she won't reply, so I'll stop texting. This in turn will make her text and I won't reply instantly. It's like back and forth, hence why I so prefer phone calls...
St.Rosa Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 For me, from anyone it shouldn't be more than a day. It is not difficult to respond to a text, it takes like 5 seconds and if you're busy say You're busy and that you'll get back to them when you can. Simple.
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