Top Ten Dating Dealbers: what are yours?

[GivenUp0083]

Here's my top 10 in no particular order:

 

- Fake-ness: I like people who are real, don't try to make things seem other than they are, I can appreciate you for who you are, just don't try to fool me

 

- Cheaters: I know this is a little harsh, but if you've cheated on a significant other in the past that is a big big turnoff for me and I just figure you are likely to do it again. There really is no justification for doing it, it's a trust issue with me and if you've cheated then I would have a hard time trusting you. I personally have never, and will never, cheat on someone.

 

- Bitterness: Some women I've dated from online dating are still bitter about past experiences. I don't believe in completely forgetting those experiences, but learning from them and developing from them.

 

- Lack of Opinion: I like people who feel strongly about something and aren't afraid to stand up for what they believe. Even if I don't agree, I respect that you have an opinion. Someone who has no opinion or doesn't care is just boring to me.

 

- Control: My last gf had a feeling of "how a relationship is supposed to go" and as a boyfriend I was expected to act a certain way to her. Well I'm not her cookie cutter bf and I can't be molded to act and feel to her liking. If you have unrealistic expectations then I just can't work with that and I will walk away.

[wezol]

1) Has a pulse.

[rafallus]

1) Has a pulse.

 

You only date unconscious or dead people?

[Star_Bright]

Mine are, in no particular order

 

1) Bible thumper

2) Conservative

3) Racist, sexist, homophobic or otherwise intolerant

4) Smoker or heavy drinker

5) Doesn't like animals

 

Those are pretty much the only set deal-breakers for me and I usually screen them out unless it's a totally blind date. I agree that liking to travel is important (and shared interests in general), and I also dislike guys that play video games a lot... it's like they never grew up or something. But those are harder to pinpoint right away and I would probably give these guys a shot with the overall package and see if the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

[Desensitized]

1. Listens to music singing about sex all the time (so annoying)

2. has an extensive sexual history

3. talks about ex-boyfriends (because I clearly give a flying f***, right?)

4. wants sex on the first date

5. texting while she's with me

6. does drugs

7. tattoos (I find it to be very unclassy)

8. thinks she's the hottest thing around

9. dislikes things for no apparent reasons (gives you no reason as to why)

10. crazy...

[dispatch3d]

1. Listens to music singing about sex all the time (so annoying)

2. has an extensive sexual history

3. talks about ex-boyfriends (because I clearly give a flying f***, right?)

4. wants sex on the first date

5. texting while she's with me

6. does drugs

7. tattoos (I find it to be very unclassy)

8. thinks she's the hottest thing around

9. dislikes things for no apparent reasons (gives you no reason as to why)

10. crazy...

 

doesn't 9 conflict with 1 through 8 and 10? haha I got you man!

 

I look for awesome, that's my main goal. Find someone awesome.

[JHS]

I only have 5 so far

 

2) Women who have "penis" noses

 

 

:laugh:.....jk temp

 

Ha ha - never heard of that one but it perfectly describes someone I know.

 

I'll say one for sure - I could never come up with 10. I am too easy-going to have such a list

1) Breast implants.

 

I can think of some things that annoy me but are not deal-breakers (like doesn't know how to let a guy hold the door for her).

 

How about some great things on a first date:

 

1) wears a skirt

2) Better if with heels

[LoveandSuch]

1- Pushiness

2- Eagerness

3- Inpatience

4- Unwilling or uninterested in discussing current events

5- Attempts at making me jealous

6- Acting disinterested in efforts to make you chase them

7- Games that are not equally tolerated

9- Poor hygiene

10- Bad kisser

11- Hairy Backs, digits

12- 8 Oclock shadows of Hairy Backs, digits

13- Tongue cleaner in bathroom with remnants of tongue cleaning

14- Has not read a book in the last year

15- Believes all women are whores, golddiggers, and unintelligent beings

16- Liars

17- Gum smackers

18- Delusional about how you feel about them

19- Are not in an open relationship , have GFs or Wives

20- Mistreat and beat animals for pleasure purposes

[ScreamingTrees]

You only date unconscious or dead people?

 

Halfway where we need 'em to be.

[LoveandSuch]

The number one deal breaker UNLESS some odd luck that I meet a soulmate, blistering love at first site, best friend, we could talk about interest hours on end, is a small or average penis.

This fear has always caused me great anxiety when first beginning to date someone. Luckily I have not come across it yet, but do not know how I would handle the situation or react.

[musemaj11]

If she is cheap and inconsiderate.

[ScreamingTrees]

The number one deal breaker UNLESS some odd luck that I meet a soulmate, blistering love at first site, best friend, we could talk about interest hours on end, is a small or average penis.

This fear has always caused me great anxiety when first beginning to date someone. Luckily I have not come across it yet, but do not know how I would handle the situation or react.

 

Maybe it wouldn't be their small penis. Maybe it'd be YOUR big floppy vagina. Ever consider that?

[Jynxx]

I hope you people don't understand the meaning of the word "dealbreaker"

A deal breaker is ‘the catch’ that a particular individual cannot overlook and ultimately outweighs any redeeming quality the individual may possess.

Would any of you still have a list of 10 or even 20 items if it meant everyone that was guilty of one of them could never date you? Or would you remove hairy back and different taste in music then?

[LoveandSuch]

Hairy back and small to average penis are dealbreakers. All I listed are dealbreakers. Inconsiderate, rude, All. Unless it happened to be a soulmate deal.

I have to correct myself though, I have experienced a small or rather long but pencil deal, was uncomfortable in the moment anyways, before seeing it. I did not feel the chemistry. There has to be alot of chemistry for me to share myself. I saw it, and jumped up dressed quickly and said I have to go. Cannot remember the exact steps or timelime, was awhile ago. But, I got out of there quick.

Hairy back, possibly, if the guy really had me stuck on him with other great qualities.

[skelterhelter]

I'm going to omit the usuals: physical/emotional abuse; cruelty to children/animals; criminal record; unfaithful. These are all givens.

 

1. Substance Use. It doesn't even have to be abused; if a guy dabbles in any substance --yes, including pot-- even a couple times a month, this is a deal breaker for me. However, having a drink here and there doesn't bother me.

 

2. Into the party scene. I'm not a bar/club person at ALL, so if this person's idea of fun is doing these sort of things, we just won't mesh well.

 

3. Overly religious. I'm cool with someone being spiritual, but I won't date someone with hardcore beliefs who attends church on a regular basis because I myself am not religious. I especially hate when beliefs are shoved down my throat, so that is a definite no no.

 

4. Overly political. Same reason as above. I don't care which side they lean to (although I'm a moderate democrat myself), but I prefer not to hear about it all the time.

 

5. Superiority complex. I hate people who are soooo into themselves. It's an immediate turn off. The world revolves around them and they use every chance they can get to spout off how great they are. Next!

 

6. Ignorant. I really don't like those psuedo-intellectual types either, but please be intelligent and aware enough to know what's going on around you and be able to carry on a decent conversation. If you can use spell and use grammar correctly, you move up the ranks

 

7. Emotional immaturity. I love fun guys who can make me laugh, but it's a turn off when their idea of fun is sitting in their mom's basement, playing video games all day and smoking pot. Ambition and direction aren't bad things! But, on the other hand...

 

8. Being too serious. I like people who can make me laugh and love to laugh themselves.

 

9. Flakey guys. Guys who don't return phone calls or bail on plans. The ones who conveniently "forget" a date or blow you off when something better comes along (and has a million excuses --otherwise known as lies -- to cover that up). Sorry, I have no time for someone who has no time for me.

 

10. Guys who aren't sexually compatible with me. I want a guy with a fierce sexual appetite who is willing to be a little kinky. I want a guy who does things with passion.

 

These are just the major things.

[AmEricanWomann]

1) My height or shorter than me. I've tried to date shorter guys, but I have zero physical attraction to them. I'm between 5'6 and 5'7, so a guy has to be 5'9 minimum. I'm not insisting on a giant, just a man who doesn't make me feel like I'm dating a boy.

 

2) Stick thin or fat stomach with no muscle tone...I don't mind a guy who has a few extra lbs, but only if he has muscle to support it. Guys with toothpick legs and spindly arms who sport huge beer bellies are not hot.

 

3)Bad Breath or B.O....just no.

 

4) Tries to impress me by telling me how great he is in bed. Dude, I'm a female, I can get laid at any time, so bragging about how long you last in the sack is as impressive to me as me telling you what great cuddler I am would get you all hot and bothered.

 

5) That certain kind of weird creepy factor that alot of guys seem to have and are totally unaware of.

 

6) Guys that insist on going Dutch on dates that they've invited me out on. Fortunately this happens very rarely, but it does happen. I usually offer to help with the bill, but I'd like to be given the chance to make the offer,rather then have him ask "are you going to pay for some of this?" right after the waitress takes our appetizer order.

 

7)Wont shut up for 5 seconds. The stereotype is that women are the ones who like to talk just to hear the sound of our own voice, but Ive met some guys who could give Joan Rivers a run for her money.

 

8) Guys who take everything seriously and those who take nothing seriously.

There has to be a happy medium. A sense of humor is a great tool to put your date at ease and make the conversation flow smoothly but someone who makes a joke out of every topic and situation is supremely obnoxious.

 

9) Guys who sprinkle the conversation with subtle and not so subtle insults and expect me to respond positively. The dude's obviously been reading "How to be a PUA for Dummies" and just finished the chapter that instructed him to to belittle a woman which according to those "experts" levels the playing field and makes her more receptive to his advances.

 

10) Bad kisser. Is there a woman in the world who enjoys a first kiss that entails the man trying to shove his tongue all the way down her throat? Maybe, but that aint me.

Edited August 28, 2011 by AmEricanWomann

[oaks]

I'll tolerate lots of things in isolation, but not these:

 

1. Ugly (I need to find her physically attractive in some way)
   
2. Smokes
   
3. Obese
   
4. Too religious
   
5. Pregnant (ie, not mine)
   
6. Still lives with ex
   

[AmEricanWomann]

I'll tolerate lots of things in isolation, but not these:

 

1. Ugly (I need to find her physically attractive in some way)
   
2. Smokes
   
3. Obese
   
4. Too religious
   
5. Pregnant (ie, not mine)
   
6. Still lives with ex
   

 

I would think the last one is such an obvious deal breaker one wouldn't even think to mention it.

[ThsAmericanLife]

The number one deal breaker UNLESS some odd luck that I meet a soulmate, blistering love at first site, best friend, we could talk about interest hours on end, is a small or average penis.

This fear has always caused me great anxiety when first beginning to date someone. Luckily I have not come across it yet, but do not know how I would handle the situation or react.

 

It is happened twice in my life... It is really an unpleasant situation... especially if you really like the man.

 

Keep in mind... I'm talking WAYY small... like smaller than my index finger.

 

You could ask. He might lie, but if he gets a funny look on his face and stops calling later on, well, that kinda takes care of things...

[ThsAmericanLife]

Dealbreakers are the opposite of:

 

1) Curiosity about the world

2) Highly intelligent (and I'm not talking book smarts either)

3) Passionate about what they do... whatever it is.

4) Financially self-sufficient, and even fiscally conservative.

5) Has a volunteer spirit

6) Balanced mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically, and sexually

7) Demonstrates empathy, especially towards helpless things (children, animals, etc).

8) Confident in their manhood.

9) Adventurous and spontaneous... but not stupid about it.

10) Self-aware and responsible about their part in a relationship.

[NXS]

1. Plasters on make-up - I don't want to date a clown.

2. False tan (ugh!)

3. Tattoos - will accept one small one but even that diminishes her value for me.

4. Has a rigid list of how men should behave.

5. Is a narcissist and/or drama queen.

[ThsAmericanLife]

1) My height or shorter than me. I've tried to date shorter guys, but I have zero physical attraction to them. I'm between 5'6 and 5'7, so a guy has to be 5'9 minimum. I'm not insisting on a giant, just a man who doesn't make me feel like I'm dating a boy.

 

2) Stick thin or fat stomach with no muscle tone...I don't mind a guy who has a few extra lbs, but only if he has muscle to support it. Guys with toothpick legs and spindly arms who sport huge beer bellies are not hot.

 

3)Bad Breath or B.O....just no.

 

4) Tries to impress me by telling me how great he is in bed. Dude, I'm a female, I can get laid at any time, so bragging about how long you last in the sack is as impressive to me as me telling you what great cuddler I am would get you all hot and bothered.

 

5) That certain kind of weird creepy factor that alot of guys seem to have and are totally unaware of.

 

6) Guys that insist on going Dutch on dates that they've invited me out on. Fortunately this happens very rarely, but it does happen. I usually offer to help with the bill, but I'd like to be given the chance to make the offer,rather then have him ask "are you going to pay for some of this?" right after the waitress takes our appetizer order.

 

7)Wont shut up for 5 seconds. The stereotype is that women are the ones who like to talk just to hear the sound of our own voice, but Ive met some guys who could give Joan Rivers a run for her money.

 

8) Guys who take everything seriously and those who take nothing seriously.

There has to be a happy medium. A sense of humor is a great tool to put your date at ease and make the conversation flow smoothly but someone who makes a joke out of every topic and situation is supremely obnoxious.

 

9) Guys who sprinkle the conversation with subtle and not so subtle insults and expect me to respond positively. The dude's obviously been reading "How to be a PUA for Dummies" and just finished the chapter that instructed him to to belittle a woman which according to those "experts" levels the playing field and makes her more receptive to his advances.

 

10) Bad kisser. Is there a woman in the world who enjoys a first kiss that entails the man trying to shove his tongue all the way down her throat? Maybe, but that aint me.

 

This made me giggle. Yes, what woman hasn't seen most or all of these??

[betterdeal]

1. A massive quim is off-putting. When it's like throwing a skittle down an corridor, the fun just isn't there

2. Has a personalised ringtone for her ex on her phone

3. Sloppy drunk

4. Talks endlessly about relationships

5. Likes domestic violence

6. Obese

 

I think that's the main ones. I can't think of 4 more (even if 10 is the rule of all internet lists)

[ascendotum]

Nearly all the women here have 'drugs' in their list. Does this mean most of you have had a history of past BFs who were druggies?

 

I guess I just don't attract the wild ones, but drug use has never featured to any great extent in the lives of my GFs or prospects. It's not really that much of a big deal if a girl I am really into, did a bit of choof or Es occasionaly, as long as it did not adversly impact on the relationship. Regular use of hard drugs is totally out, but I just dont run into to these women, that warrents me to list 'drug use' as a specific dealbreaker. Alcohol, as not knowing when to say that’s enough is more along the lines of a dealbreaker for me.

Edited August 28, 2011 by ascendotum

[SillyS]

1. Rude to strangers around us, focus should not be on that in the first place

 

2. Appearance needs to suggest that there was some effort put in, I mean I hope the guy showered/shaved and well is wearing clean clothes etc.

 

3. Getting to know each other is a marathon not a race, so no life stories please. Leave me some mystery please

 

4. Smoker

 

5. Arrogance

 

6. Suggests anything about sexual expectations on the first date

 

7. Men that seem like they have been on 6 billion dates, I can tell in their mechanisms, the way they talk that they know what works for them and the women they date. Just be yourself, I can spot a rehearsed act from a mile away and odds I won't care for it at all.

 

8. Bringing up flaws with women in past relationships, I don't even know you yet so bashing other women is not gonna work for me. Comon guys, this is really like a interview, if you want the job, don't bash your previous boss! lol

 

9. Men that make a big deal about the check. It's just awkward, some men are offended when I pay, others are when I don't offer, and then there is those that want me to split it. I live on two continents, can I get the official party line when it comes to this already?! Seriously!

 

10. If you can't make me laugh, then really that's a wrap on the date. I have a weird blunt dutch sense of humor, so its hard to make me laugh but its a real requirement.

Edited August 28, 2011 by SillyS