Wesker Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 It seems this whole week, I've been having more angry, and revenge thoughts of my ex of almost 8 years together. Some of these thoughts are actually pretty bad, such has her getting cancer, or ending up in a car wreck, to even dreams of just slapping her in the face, asking her why did you do this to me! Deep down I know I don't mean this, and I would never act on any of these thoughts. Usually I'll go for a jog, or play some video games to cool down. I guess what I'm asking is if this is ok to have these thoughts, even while at the same time I would love to be back together with her?
betterdeal Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 It's fine. Happens all the time. And you know why I don't think it's a cause for concern? Because you think it's a cause for concern, so you know the difference between fantasy and reality. Your subconscious is like a young child. It's very natural and emotive, but also pretty simple when it comes to words, or concepts such as right and wrong. That's where these angry things are coming from. You also have a conscious mind, and that's more like a parent. It's not so natural, not so emotive or spontaneous, but it's good at words and concepts such as right and wrong. If you see a child having a tantrum, best thing to do is let it express its feelings, whilst making sure it doesn't lead to any real harm, and try to understand what's making it so unhappy.
lovesickmonkey Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3496845#post3496845
giuliano-3 Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 Normal, yes. Healthy, you betcha. Don't worry, most of us have been there. Its a weird sensation, to wish for a blizzard to take out a flight she's on while still wanting her back. It takes a while before you can get to a place where you neither wish the ex harm nor good. Indifference is a place I'm still struggling to get to. I do still want her to pay for her actions, to be accountable, to call and truly show emotion with heartfelt words instead of half-drunken half-truths. But, these feelings are not conducive to long term happiness. At some point you need to shed these negative emotions and not care about her comeuppance.
reimeivn Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 the "slap her in the face" is actually a good one. just visualize you dong that to her would help. do it whenever you think of any sweet memory. just think its like showing on her face like movie in the movie theatre and slap it in the face.
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