Action plan for someone who has never dated

[WhyWontYouBe]

Some freaking long walls of text here, Shmish!

 

@OP - Any luck so far?

[KathyM]

Kathy,

All I can say is WOW !!!!

That's very insightful and caring advice you provided.

 

Want to PM you some more info on my situation, but notice you're a couple of days away from gaining privileges, so will save my msg. for the PM.

Plus, don't want to wreck this excellent thread of how user12345 needs help to get out and date.

 

In the meantime, here's an update on my situation.

Don't know if you saw it. Sorry it was a big rant.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=3545148&postcount=75

 

I've detailed my situation in a big thread I started in Nov.

Refusal-Long time refused & considering leaving...

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=253953

 

Forgive me for some of the graphic writing. That wasn't the purpose and I was counting on internet anonymity. Wish I could edit some of those posts. Wanted to give a view of what it's like for a man in my shoes.

I'll be happy to try to help you. Feel free to IM me, and I'll see what I can do to help you.

[user12345]

I doubt you'd be meeting someone like that in a bar.

Meeting is not a problem. There's a few good people I wish would have me. The 'sales' part, as you put it, is the problem. I think that the biggest gains for me are to be made in improving confidence and 'smoothness'. The whole bar discussion was just about whether practicing on people there was helpful.

 

I think the sex discussion here is to me nowhere as important as the question of how to be attractive. I hate the idea that someone is settling for me - which they would be, but at least let a bit of infatuation cover that up. I know there are people out there who would go with me, for lack of alternatives. People have asked me out, and girls asking is sort of a big deal, in my world at least. But I don't want to appeal just to someone's brain or logic. And I know from my own side you can't choose to think your way to being attracted. Reading your thread FMan, and will get back on that.

 

Wwyb: what luck would there be? It's been 24 years and not going to change quickly. Started gym with a personal trainer and program, started changing my wardrobe, got contact lenses, getting dental work done, and joined a reading club. That's all so far.

[krz12]

Meeting is not a problem. There's a few good people I wish would have me. The 'sales' part, as you put it, is the problem. I think that the biggest gains for me are to be made in improving confidence and 'smoothness'. The whole bar discussion was just about whether practicing on people there was helpful.

 

I think the sex discussion here is to me nowhere as important as the question of how to be attractive. I hate the idea that someone is settling for me - which they would be, but at least let a bit of infatuation cover that up. I know there are people out there who would go with me, for lack of alternatives. People have asked me out, and girls asking is sort of a big deal, in my world at least. But I don't want to appeal just to someone's brain or logic. And I know from my own side you can't choose to think your way to being attracted. Reading your thread FMan, and will get back on that.

 

Wwyb: what luck would there be? It's been 24 years and not going to change quickly. Started gym with a personal trainer and program, started changing my wardrobe, got contact lenses, getting dental work done, and joined a reading club. That's all so far.

 

 

This, 100%!

 

The toughest part of this process, as someone in the same boat, is like trying to be suave when you have no clue how to accomplish that.