chphan Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Okay I need a bit of advice or suggestions on what to do here in terms of two possible options. I would like to get the opinions of both male and female perspective as I'm currently have second thoughts and looking at things from a different point of view. The short story is that for about awhile now I've been going to a bank and there's this teller there that I like. Sometimes I get her as my teller during a bank transaction and sometimes not. And when I do interact with her I get a feeling there's a bit of a mutual interest with one another or mutual attraction to one another. Other times when I don't get her as a teller, I notice that sometimes we take a look at one another or take a peek at one another. The kind that you take a look at them because you are interested at them but at the same time you kind of look away and pretend you aren't interested in them. Do I know there's a feeling of mutual interest or attraction between the 2 of us? No. It's just a gut instinct or my gut instinct. I could be totally wrong and only think that she may be interested in me back because I'm interested in her simply because that's how I want it. With people in customer service you can't really tell because it's their job to be friendly and polite. I do know or feel that there were many times where there's a sign to me that there seem to be an attraction for one another base on actions and conversation. I just don't really have any proof and just a gut feeling but I'm not sure if I'm reading more into them simply because I want there to be more than her doing her job being friendly and stuff. If that makes any sense. Recently I found out that she transfer to another branch of the bank. I have to admit that I'm a very disappointed by this and it kind of bother me that I won't see her again going to my usual bank. I know where she work now since the other employees told me where she transfer to from her promotion. I even got her new work email address or simply call the branch and talk to her. I even thought about dropping by the new branch to see her but that seem a bit too transparent since that bank is way out the way and she's no longer a teller so it seem way too obvious why I'm at the branch. So I had two options. 1. To just move on with my life with business as usual and just get over it. It's not like I knew for sure she was interested in me or even she already has a boyfriend. Going by instinct doesn't do much as it's not like I never read things wrong before and in this case me thinking she was interested in me was simply her being friendly with her customer service training. 2. To send her an email or give her a call at the branch she's working at now to say "hi" and "good bye" since I never really got a chance to say good bye. And see if there's anything there in terms of her response. I'm pretty sure she's smart enough to know that I must have gone out of my way to track her down on where she's currently working at and what her work email is. Not that her work email is a secret since it's part of her job to give out her work email to clients. I was leaning toward option 2 but now I'm having second thoughts. Maybe cold feet or just getting a different view. This isn't some romantic comedy movie of some guy tracking down a girl he met that he likes. Me tracking her down and calling her or even emailing her can be view as a pathetic unwanted stalking which I don't want to be look at. And I really don't want to be view as a pathetic love sick loser that's trying to look for some girl that he doesn't really know for 100% sure if she's interested in him in the first place. My biggest fear is that she does have a boyfriend and that all this time in the last half year or so that I've read things wrong and my instinct were wrong. All the sign that I thought was her being interested in me was nothing more than her being overly friendly in her customer service and I was just believing there was something more there. That's what scare me the most and it's being wrong in my instinct and her having a boyfriend. So I'm asking for some opinions on some outside people that I don't know. You guys or gals think I should just let it go and move on with my life or try giving her an email/call and risking the chance of falling flat on my face?
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Go for it... if you fall you won't look back at all this and think "What if she F&*KING liked me".
Author chphan Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 Go for it... if you fall you won't look back at all this and think "What if she F&*KING liked me". Yeah that's what I'm debating on. The not know of what if you really did like me and I did nothing about it. But my friends tell me not to. It makes me look like a desparate loser.
PDPullmn612 Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 But, what if she is actually interested? If you don't go for it, you'll never know. I say its worth a shot. Worst thing that happens is she rejects you. Given that she doesn't work at your usual bank anymore, you'd never have to see her again if she rejected you.
WeatherMe Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 I third the go for it! Why not? What do you stand to lose? You never have to see her again if she says no. You don't have to tell your friends you're going to do it. Just do it. You stand everything to gain and nothing to lose. Yay team, good luck!
Author chphan Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 Well to play it safe I sent a first email to make sure it was her. A quick reply from her stating it was her and asking who was sending the email. So I sent back a second email. Just to play it safe, saying good bye and wishing her luck on her new location. Just to keep the line of communication open I suppose as I don't want to come off as too forward. One would assume that if she was interested that she would send another reply back. Well nothing. Just dead silence. A bit disappointed really. Maybe I was expecting too much but I had hope at the very least an acknowledgement that she got my good bye email and a simply thanks for the good bye email in return even if she wasn't interested. Just to be polite. Not a delete, whatever kind of response, and ignore. Guess I read things wrong. Not too surprise really, story of my life, girl that I want, I can never have. I should have known, I used to work as a customer service rep, you are paid and train to be friendly and polite to people no matter what and who they are under all situations. Now that she doesn't have to see me at work anymore, there's no need for the customer service happy face routine. Oh well it was worth a shot. My instinct was really wrong on this one.
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