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Abuse after leaving abuser - when will it end?


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My ex-husband was very emotionally/mentally abusive and occasionally physically abusive. His statements to me often included:

"you look like a rodent"

"no one could ever love you but me"

"your parents and friends are all rednecks"

"you're a stupd b@tch"

"your IQ is subpar"



He attempted to alienate me from my family and friends by bad-mouthing them to me, prohibiting me from seeing them, and refusing to attend famiy functions with me.


I finally saw the light, and left this man. The problem is we have 2 children together (ages 6 and 8), and he has custody of them 3 days per week. When we first divorced, he continued to abuse me through phone calls, emails, and texts. Finally, I cut him off via phone and he is now only able to communicate with me via email and text. Yet he continues to insult me and threaten me (nothing bad enough to get an order for protection). And he lies to the children about me in an attempt to get them to hate me. This is very stressful for me, and I just can't see an end in sight.


I have recently brought him to court for parenting time modification since he has been hitting the kids and verbally assaulting them, but that move on my part has escalated the abuse both toward the children and me. Because he doesn't leave physical marks (at least he hasn't yet), things are going very slowly with the court, and I may not even get a modification of parenting time at all.


Anyone else been through this?

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Appeal to the courts on Supervised Visitation. Consider a mediator for parental courses. The Courts can also assign a Court Guardian for the children. They are the last step though before children are removed from both environments.

A court appointed adult will also intervene and co-ordinate any contact the adults may need to convey, this stops the abuser from being antagonistic.

The System can work for you and ultimately for the children at risk. Its your duty as a parent to see they are kept from harm be it mental or physical. Contact the courts.


On a side note the abuse terminology is considered "justified" discipline by more then naught here. Sad isnt it? Violence begets violence ...it starts at home and needs to stop there ....

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Forever Learning

Get the children to a therapist to help them deal with his abuse and to serve as an outside party to witness and document what the children have to say. In the long run this may prove very valuable to you and could be what you need to turn the tide in this situation. All the best to you and your children.

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