Ready2live4today Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 Ok here I go. I met this woman on a dating site, her profile was everything I was looking for and could give her. We exchanged a few emails she was just about to leave on vacation for 2 weeks. She gave me her phone number and personal email. Everyday while she was away we texted each other and were learning details about eachothers lives. We chatted daily, always saying goodmorning and goodnight. We chatted on the phone a couple of times. I divorced 7 months ago but was seperated totally from my ex for over 5 years. She has been divorced 4 months but seperated over 2 years. Our first date we hit it off, we saw each other 3 times a week at least. We didnt sleep together for over 4 dates. I've sent her flowers at work made her a special music cd, cards she was flying high as she said, and yes something that has never happened no where close to this soon if ever before, I fell in love. I had no expectations from her and told her that, but her marriage was all about expectations from her ex but I am just not like that. She said she wasnt ready to get that serious but everything she did acted like she was. We had so much in common and the passion for eachother when we were together anywhere was evident, we always had a great time together. She is everything I ever wanted. It got too serious for her too fast its been a month, maybe yes I got very deep but I am sincere and a romantic like she was looking for. I have never in my life fell so fast so deep for anyone and especially this soon. Everything was going great but I sensed something. One day she said she wasnt ready for a serious relationship she just had too much on her plate, but she had genuine feelings, maybe I was smothering her with affection a bit I don't know. So we broke it off. After a few days I texted her and told her I was back to myself and thanked her for everything she showed and shared with me in the past month. We began texting I asked her if she wanted me to move on and this was her gentle way of telling me and I told her to be straight up with me not to be gentle and it ended up that she said she needs time to work out kinks in her life. She needs time. She asked me to wait before moving on, to give her time, she has no guarentees but would definetly tell me if and when any feelings changed or it faded and wanted to see me time to time and to reamin friends. I havent contacted her since and letting her do all of it and giving her space. Last night she texted me a simple kiss and I texted her back the same. What does this all mean? Is she playing the field to see what's out there? How long do I wait? What should I do? Is it over?
thatone Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 well now she's contacting you again so pick up where you left off. ask her to get back together, if she says yes go ahead, but don't let her get distant on you again. you should be the same person you were before, and you should not let her withhold sex or push you away again. if she pushes you away again, and pitches the idea of "friends" tell her no, that you have feelings for her and will not go hot/cold on a whim, she has to make up her mind, stay or go.
Author Ready2live4today Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 That is so not me. I am not possessive., controlling or demanding. I don't think a simple kiss is contact I think it was just saying Im thinking of you. If there is a chance I do not want to do anything to screw it up. I don't believe in love at first sight, I do believe in chemistry. We definitely have that. I especially believe knowing myself that the feelings even so soon are real. I'm 46 years old and I know who and what I am and I like myself. I can't do anything that isn't me. It would not be real then If I do.
thatone Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 (edited) you HAVE to be. else you're a doormat and she will abuse you and make your life miserable. you're a man, you are possessive. all of us are. telling her what you want is not controlling or demanding. put yourself in her shoes. would you expect her to come and go as you pleased while she did everything possible to please you? of course not. you can't do so either. and guess what, if she's still attracted to you it'll work! her tendency to push you away will be a lot less than her fear of rejection. Edited July 25, 2011 by thatone
sm1tten Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 This bothers me: She asked me to wait before moving on, to give her time, she has no guarentees but would definetly tell me if and when any feelings changed or it faded and wanted to see me time to time and to reamin friends Don't put your dating life on hold while she figures out her feelings. How about casually dating each other - seeing each other less, maybe continuing to see other people, and seeing where it goes?
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