Being beautiful : not a quality that is relevant in finding a lifelong spouse

[Zed]

Sorry--that sounded rude. "Uglies"

I spend time with a lot of bitchy girls at my work, my vocabulary seems to be changing.

 

I'm actually a hidden ugly person--I'm good at hiding the ugly.

 

Looks can't possibly trump everything else--If I am on the cute side, and I agree I probably am, then how have I gone on almost 40 dates in the past year and not been able to find someone special?

 

I've never had anyone express their admiration of me...I haven't had a guy have a crush on me.

 

No one is asking me out on the streets. Oh, unless they want in my pants.

 

I don't feel happy.

 

Your dilemna is pretty normal. Like I said, you have to develop your people picker and that means getting to know who you are and what you really want. What are your preferences and does that reflect your values and the you will be more successful in filtering out people that waste your time. You will still have a lot of options but you be able to have more appropriate candidates.

 

No matter what--your looks will provide you with way more options.

[temporaryvisa]

I am sure many guys have had crushes on you...don't measure/evaluate your life or happiness by that. 40 dates in the past year? You're doing great.

 

(and I was teasing about the bed)

 

No, cuz I ask a lot of those guys out and its all on the internet!

NOT VERY SPONTANEOUS!

[TheFamilyMan]

it is a combination of several different things. Then every person weighs them based on their values, but for a lifelong relationship, it is just the coincidence that the two people match well.

[temporaryvisa]

Yeah, but then women who are hotter than me are even luckier, even happier, huh?

:/

 

Yeah, I don't like this argument

[JHS]

I hate that term, exotic...

ugh...

Seriously, I'm one in more than a billion Indians

step into India, I won't be exotic no mo'

 

And how many of those billions find someone/get married? A lot. You are seriously cute with a dazzling smile. You need to learn how to interact better. You're going to be just fine. Rome wasn't built in a day.

[temporaryvisa]

Yeah, but being hot isn't an experience, it'd be a lifestyle. And then hot people would get used to getting a lot of dates--it doesn't make them happy, they're used to it. They want to meet someone special, in any case, and for hot people I'd imagine it's a bit harder--when the others that are attracted to them are only in it cuz theyre hot.

Imagine if they got into an accident and their face gets disfigured...

 

It's all gone.

 

Face value is such BS, sometimes, eh

[temporaryvisa]

Here's an idea: Turn off dating for a little while. Work on improving some of the things you just pointed out - hobbies, eating, cleaning up. Once you improve in these areas you'll feel much better about yourself!

 

Yes, I'm not dating anymore for a while--for suuure.

[t_i]

I over-apologize. Apparently that turns guys off.

 

 

That is exactally like me!

 

I dont think pretty girls have it any better somtimes. Alot of people my friends (and exs friends) tended to say I was more attractive than him by a long way. Yet who dumped who?

 

Beauty goes as far as attraction purposes only then after that I think people 'forget' how their partner looks and become complacent/ get bored.

 

I've seen on many occasions that a beautiful girl gets cheated on loads by a good for nothing lad whos bored. However I think attraction is important. I couldnt ever date a guy who I didnt have the slighest bit of attraction to, let alone marry someone and spend the rest of my life with someone I didnt find good looking.

[KR10N]

Someone said physical appearance is the first trigger to attraction. Then personality & intelligence. That might be the case for most people but not all. I, apparently, work backwards.

 

From my experience, the good looking ones are trouble. However, I've met lots of guys who had excellent personalities & were very intelligent that I was not attracted to physically but saw them as dating material.

 

I don't see how that works against nature just because a person likes someone else for who they are. There's a law against nature that prevents people from being attracted to personality & intelligence first? That's just silly. Who says one is more important over the other?

[temporaryvisa]

Thanks for the compliment, JHS!

 

I think being pretty is only fun when you're walking around and people notice, or strangers tell you! I love dressing up and feeling like I'm hot, but otherwise it's no big deal. It's all fake.

Beauty is an illusion.

 

I don't think its anything to bank on.

[Casablanca]

Yeah, but being hot isn't an experience, it'd be a lifestyle. And then hot people would get used to getting a lot of dates--it doesn't make them happy, they're used to it. They want to meet someone special, in any case, and for hot people I'd imagine it's a bit harder--when the others that are attracted to them are only in it cuz theyre hot.

Imagine if they got into an accident and their face gets disfigured...

 

It's all gone.

 

Face value is such BS, sometimes, eh

Most of the super hot girls I know only hang out with douche bag men and then are shocked and cry when they are cheated on or dumped out of the blue...so I sort of agree

 

There has to be some physical attraction though

[SteelWall]

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My personal thoughts on beauty is it comes in all shapes and forms. And this is all MHO, not saying its universal to anyone elses.

There are different levels of beauty. You have the countless sexy look models...all pretty, many just slight shades of the others. Boring to me.

You have the natural pretty women who seem to just let it go....just do not seem to care much for glamming it up.

Then you have the 'uniques,' these to me are the most beautiful, but have attributes many who are into vanilla, button noses, cookie cutter beauty would find fault with. These are the Giselles....her nose is quite big...face is beautiful, but not the cookie cutter beauty. Uma Thurman, Natalie Zea, many many of the super beauties have very distinct unique variations of what most would consider beauty. Barbara Streisand back in her younger years with the long straight blonde hair was gorgeous and most importantly unique.

I view it the same way with men. Cookie cutter Ken doll looks...the men sporting the fire fighter catalogs...eh....not beautiful to me. Distinct...unique....is beautiful to me.

[temporaryvisa]

^ Awww, that's so cute!

[Nexus One]

how have I gone on almost 40 dates in the past year and not been able to find someone special?

 

I've never had anyone express their admiration of me...I haven't had a guy have a crush on me.

 

I'm naturally extroverted- I talk an awful lot. I can't stop talking, sometimes. And people think I am exhausting and weird.

 

When you talk, is what you say (mostly) positive or (mostly) negative? Positive chatter can be quite pleasant (in my opinion), spouting negative sh*t and nagging on the other hand, not so much. Also, are you judgmental and do you express that verbally? And would you say that you tend to come across as cocky/arrogant to other people?

Edited July 25, 2011 by Nexus One

[musemaj11]

Beauty draws attraction and intelligence draws respect. I think both are equally Important.

[grkBoy]

Agree?

 

Movie starlets have a terrible time, often, with finding love.

Gorgeous women are airheads , often-times.

Guys are intimidated by beauty, often.

Beauty fades!

 

Discuss?

 

The problem is people need to stop seeing beauty as only a physical thing.

 

There are a lot of physically beautiful people out there who are the most ugly individuals when you look on the inside.

 

I have some physical things I won't budge on, like weight, but the rest is about seeing the total package, and that's the things beyond how she looks.

 

I've met many model-esque women who I think are physically beautiful, but when you see how they can't hold a decent job, or have a taste of jerks, or want a sugar daddy, or can't hold a conversation, or are spoiled princesses...you can then see the ugly troll under the fair maiden.