Being beautiful : not a quality that is relevant in finding a lifelong spouse

July 25, 2011

Agree?

Movie starlets have a terrible time, often, with finding love.

Gorgeous women are airheads , often-times.

Guys are intimidated by beauty, often.

Beauty fades!

Discuss?

July 25, 2011

Agree?

Movie starlets have a terrible time, often, with finding love.
Gorgeous women are airheads , often-times.
Guys are intimidated by beauty, often.
Beauty fades!

Discuss?

Agree in general. Although I haven't found pretty women to be airheads any more than anyone else.

July 25, 2011

I think I'm naturally somewhat pretty. I'm also naturally fat unless I make fitness and portion control a priority. Behavior definitely trumps genetics.

Unless you want this to be a discussion which requires me to provide a response involving more emotional depth. And I can't be bothered.

July 25, 2011

Hmm, I dunno.. I think it might help in the initial attraction part of things; after all, if you don't get that first introduction, you don't have that partner!

I originally thought that my looks had something to do with my man and I getting together initially.. but then I saw some photos of his ex girlfriends and decided that maybe I am really just dazzlingly intelligent with a rapier wit. -cough- And modest, too.

Actually, looks probably didn't have much to do with it. They certainly helped, though! =)

July 25, 2011

I'd like to add that when someone is super attractive and has lots of options that makes the person ultra-picky and quick to drop a person who is interested in them for another.

This is somewhat self-destructive though.

Oh and, girls are intimidated by beauty too, in fact, probably even more than guys. A guy might be shy about picking up a beautiful woman, but once he actually succeeds, he is super proud of it. A woman that is getting hit on by a guy who she thinks is really hot gets intimidated and insecure, she will start to think that if he is the hot one in the relationship, that he will have power over her, and that is bad.

Edited July 25, 2011 by mo mo

July 25, 2011

That's true ^. But I would love-absolutely love- to date someone hotter than me! Agh, I don't see any problem

I can see how some girls would be put-off , however.

July 25, 2011

As far as do beautiful people have an easier time finding whatever it is they desire in a mate? Absolutely they do, question is a given. Two people otherwise the same and one is beautiful, the beautiful one will have so much easier in their romantic lives no question.

I absolutely disagree with this--unless you're beautiful and happen to be attracted to average and below average people.

People of average attractiveness will have an easier time dating because they have more options.

July 25, 2011

I have a friend who married his wife because she is beautiful....now a couple of years later he is very sorry that he did....She has no substance and only cares about herself. and very cold to boot.....

So looks can be deceiving....but I told him he was also very shallow not to look deeper past the pretty packaging.....Dumb ass......;)

July 25, 2011

As far as do beautiful people have an easier time finding whatever it is they desire in a mate? Absolutely they do, question is a given. Two people otherwise the same and one is beautiful, the beautiful one will have so much easier in their romantic lives no question.

Not so sure.

Physically attractive, but insecure guy, doesn't exactly have it easy, because other people put some unspoken expectations on them to live up. Fail to live up - you're pretty much immediately a wuss or *******.

July 25, 2011

I have a friend who married his wife because she is beautiful....now a couple of years later he is very sorry that he did....She has no substance and only cares about herself. and very cold to boot.....

That's why I look at personality too. In my opinion there are 3 major pillars of attraction when it comes to women. Looks, personality and intelligence. Not only are they important in terms of attraction, but the last two will increase the chance for a stable relationship. There have been studies on the question of what kind of couples have the most stable relationships. It turns out that statistically, higher educated couples tend to have a more stable relationship than lower educated couples. (Don't get me wrong I'm not judging anyone)

I think that intelligence equals the ability to recognize, analyze and solve problems, but to also think ahead in order to prevent problems. I think nobody would disagree when I say that problems can develop in relationships and that they can grow up to the point that they are the cause for the end of a relationship. When you have a better ability to prevent or solve occurring problems, then your relationship has a higher chance of succeeding. It of course helps if your partner has similar abilities/qualities.

Do I think looks are unimportant? No. I think they are important, because when I look at how I as a man operate, then the first trigger that sparks interest in me for a woman is her looks. So looks will get me to notice a girl/woman, which starts a process in my mind that wants me to know more about her, a process that wants me to get to know her personality in order to see if she's a compatible partner and to see if she has a certain level of intelligence that will keep the relationship interesting and stable for the longterm.

If you say looks aren't important, then you take away that first trigger. If you take away the first trigger that jump-starts the process of a man approaching a woman, then you're somewhat breaking that process, making it more difficult. That's like saying, let's take away the visual aspect of attraction, just because it's politically correct. You'd then take away part of what makes us human, it's a part of our biology, denying that part of us would be to negate a part of ourselves. I'm not sure if that would be a healthy way to go about things, as that would be going against nature.

July 25, 2011

Agree?

Movie starlets have a terrible time, often, with finding love.
Gorgeous women are airheads , often-times.
Guys are intimidated by beauty, often.
Beauty fades!

Discuss?

In the past 4 years I dated seriously and tried to have meaningful relationships two very beautiful females. Both were quite used to getting sycophantic attention. While there were many good qualities to both of them, I found that anything that was contrary to kissing their a$$, or more accurately anything that wasn't, conflicts arose. Meaning that if they did something absurd or offensive and I had a normal reaction, it became a real conflict. Apologies did not flow freely from these females.

July 25, 2011

As far as do beautiful people have an easier time finding whatever it is they desire in a mate? Absolutely they do, question is a given. Two people otherwise the same and one is beautiful, the beautiful one will have so much easier in their romantic lives no question.

I don't agree with this but maybe it's due to a poor self image. I would never call myself beautiful so maybe I have no business responding but have been told I am good looking (below is an e-mail from someone I met recently - but we agreed to be friends due to an age disparity) and yet I have a terrible time meeting eligible women. I see them all the time but they don't seem to notice me or give me the signal(s) that they do...

Here's the quote - I don't say I agree at all with this but if it's true, then to some, anyway, I am a good looking person: "You are seriously one of the best looking men I've ever seen. You are classically handsome in a Cary Grant sort of way. Seriously, you are H-O-T-T. Yes, two t's. A poem could be written about your attractiveness."

Edited July 25, 2011 by JHS

July 25, 2011

Beauty may not be completely relevant to finding a partner but it is an important factor. People always add personality and intelligence, but what does that really mean. People just throw that in there but I've seen people overlook personality deficits in favor of looks with the thought that they can work on the other stuff. There are different types of personalities and intelligence levels but what usually creates inital interest before anything else are looks. You have more options, more attention and taken more seriously as opposed to if you are plain/ugly. And there are very beautiful women who are also the total package which makes them even more in demand. So the empty headed vessel is a bit of a steretype.

July 25, 2011

I over-apologize. Apparently that turns guys off.

July 25, 2011

You'e right-yes. But loads of beautiful women are stone-cold dumb, just like lots of uglies are dumb. I feel like it is easier for beautiful women to be dumb--haven't you heard the phrase "She's lucky she's hot, because she's dumb as a rock"?

I think that's so weird.

July 25, 2011

Okay, this thread is completely a set up by OP because she is gorgeous. You know all the answers to all your questions!

July 25, 2011

Aw, thats so sweeet!!! I have like 2 HUGE zits on my right cheek and they are bright red and huuuuge. So yeah, not feelin too cute right now--but thanks, you are so sweet.

July 25, 2011

You'e right-yes. But loads of beautiful women are stone-cold dumb, just like lots of uglies are dumb. I feel like it is easier for beautiful women to be dumb--haven't you heard the phrase "She's lucky she's hot, because she's dumb as a rock"?

I think that's so weird.

That just totally the way things are which is why looks trumps everything else. The everything else is a bonus if your beautiful and makes you that much more attractive if that is even possible. The "uglies" are expected to have some intelligence or at least a more developed personality and if they don't--they cease to exist.

Still you don't need to worry--you just have to develop a good people picker--based on the fact that you are very pretty, therefore you automatically will have way more options then the "uglies."

July 25, 2011

Aw, thats so sweeet!!! I have like 2 HUGE zits on my right cheek and they are bright red and huuuuge. So yeah, not feelin too cute right now--but thanks, you are so sweet.

Okay, get some zit cream and MAKE YOUR BED!

July 25, 2011

Sorry--that sounded rude. "Uglies"

I spend time with a lot of bitchy girls at my work, my vocabulary seems to be changing.

I'm actually a hidden ugly person--I'm good at hiding the ugly.

Looks can't possibly trump everything else--If I am on the cute side, and I agree I probably am, then how have I gone on almost 40 dates in the past year and not been able to find someone special?

I've never had anyone express their admiration of me...I haven't had a guy have a crush on me.

No one is asking me out on the streets. Oh, unless they want in my pants.

I don't feel happy.

July 25, 2011

The number one ugliest thing about me is how absolutely messy I am. I don't make my bed, my closet and room is a huge mess! And I feel so lazy.

I feel like I am not giving time to my hobbies.

I also feel like I am not working out, or eating healthy.

I feel lonely--getting into fights with my friends.

I feel so unconfident...people can sense this in the way I speak, that I'm so insecure.

I'm naturally extroverted- I talk an awful lot. I can't stop talking, sometimes. And people think I am exhausting and weird.

July 25, 2011

Looks can't possibly trump everything else--If I am on the cute side, and I agree I probably am, then how have I gone on almost 40 dates in the past year and not been able to find someone special?

I've never had anyone express their admiration of me...I haven't had a guy have a crush on me.
I don't feel happy.

I am sure many guys have had crushes on you...don't measure/evaluate your life or happiness by that. 40 dates in the past year? You're doing great.

(and I was teasing about the bed)

July 25, 2011

I'm generally considered 'above-average' in looks and am frequently called 'beautiful'. When I started online dating in particular, I had a lot of options. But very few of those were relationship options. It's much more difficult to get through all the rubble to find someone you'd like to have a relationship with when you're attractive, IME, because there are so many guys after you who only want sex. I feel like they tend to assume it's all your worth as an attractive woman and they don't even want to bother with digging deeper because they think nothing else exists. Throw in the fact that I'm frequently considered 'exotic-looking' and am stereotyped as an 'experience' because of it and it's even more frustrating. Thankfully, I'm off the market.

July 25, 2011

The number one ugliest thing about me is how absolutely messy I am. I don't make my bed, my closet and room is a huge mess! And I feel so lazy.

I feel like I am not giving time to my hobbies.
I also feel like I am not working out, or eating healthy.
I feel lonely--getting into fights with my friends.
I feel so unconfident...people can sense this in the way I speak, that I'm so insecure.

I'm naturally extroverted- I talk an awful lot. I can't stop talking, sometimes. And people think I am exhausting and weird.

Here's an idea: Turn off dating for a little while. Work on improving some of the things you just pointed out - hobbies, eating, cleaning up. Once you improve in these areas you'll feel much better about yourself!

July 25, 2011

I hate that term, exotic...

ugh...

Seriously, I'm one in more than a billion Indians

step into India, I won't be exotic no mo'

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