Consolidated Discussion - Older/younger woman/man and age gap dating

[central]

When I got back into the dating world at 44, 3 of my 4 best prospects were 40+ never-married accomplished women with no children. They certainly exist. It was the 4th prospect that captured my heart, despite having children and some baggage. I'm glad I made the choice I did, but think any of the others would have been good, too.

[RedRobin]

George Clooney has never had a reputation for substance abuse, domestic violence or getting in trouble at all. He seems much more well adjusted than many of his peers.

 

Here is her mother who has done hard news and has sat down with world leaders. http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CB4QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fenglish.alarabiya.net%2Fen%2Flife-style%2Fentertainment%2F2014%2F04%2F29%2FMeet-George-Clooney-s-future-mother-in-law.html&ei=Z7EpVPbzIYiSyASnjYGgCQ&usg=AFQjCNFUPZDLjEPoO2xVZdGScv-Spkrl-g

 

Hardly seems like the kind of woman who wants her daughter to be a stepford wife to an American actor.

 

Who is talking about being a step ford wife? I am just talking about her being with a man who is her peer. He is not her peer. I think she is settling big time.

 

As for him, he knows his shelf life is up and he's not likely going to get any better. There is only so long that a guy can work the eligible bachelor deal before he ends up a tired, old has been who has to settle for desperate starlets looking for a professional leg up.

 

That is what I tell men... They have a shelf life too. The party doesn't last forever. Better hope you have a chair to sit in when the music stops.

[Woggle]

Who is talking about being a step ford wife? I am just talking about her being with a man who is her peer. He is not her peer. I think she is settling big time.

 

As for him, he knows his shelf life is up and he's not likely going to get any better. There is only so long that a guy can work the eligible bachelor deal before he ends up a tired, old has been who has to settle for desperate starlets looking for a professional leg up.

 

That is what I tell men... They have a shelf life too. The party doesn't last forever. Better hope you have a chair to sit in when the music stops.

 

Peer is subjective. Maybe she views him as her peer. It's not like she can't get other men. I am almost certain she doesn't have to settle for George Clooney if she doesn't want. Is Beyoncé settling for being with an older man? Is Jennifer Lawrence settling for being with the guy from Coldplay. Maybe she is because I couldn't be with somebody that made such dull music but it's not because of his age. I am younger than my wife and I am damn sure not settling.

[Tayken]

When I got back into the dating world at 44, 3 of my 4 best prospects were 40+ never-married accomplished women with no children. They certainly exist. It was the 4th prospect that captured my heart, despite having children and some baggage. I'm glad I made the choice I did, but think any of the others would have been good, too.

 

 

Good for you! By children, how many are we talking here, and hopefully their father is paying child support?

 

The 40s - Mid 50s women is definitely the best group out there...and I stand firm on this! You can keep all the other nonsense

[xxoo]

I guess you don't know that many high achieving women then. I do.

 

I certainly do. And that's why I can't believe one would succumb to pressure to marry a Hollywood actor if she didn't want to with her whole heart.

[RedRobin]

Peer is subjective. Maybe she views him as her peer. It's not like she can't get other men. I am almost certain she doesn't have to settle for George Clooney if she doesn't want. Is Beyoncé settling for being with an older man? Is Jennifer Lawrence settling for being with the guy from Coldplay. Maybe she is because I couldn't be with somebody that made such dull music but it's not because of his age. I am younger than my wife and I am damn sure not settling.

 

Beyoncé? Yes. Her father is/was a serial cheater who fathered a child with another woman while he was married to her mom. Daddy issues.

 

I don't know about Jennifer Lawrence. She is just dating the guy. He is doing his post divorce rounds with the young ins. But yes, I think she can do better than a freshly divorced guy who is 13 years older than her.

[RedRobin]

I certainly do. And that's why I can't believe one would succumb to pressure to marry a Hollywood actor if she didn't want to with her whole heart.

 

Okey dokey. I know plenty of accomplished women in that age group who settle because they want kids. A large age difference (especially in her culture) would be viewed as a suitable compromise.

 

If they don't want kids, then all bets are off.

[Woggle]

Okey dokey. I know plenty of accomplished women in that age group who settle because they want kids. A large age difference (especially in her culture) would be viewed as a suitable compromise.

 

If they don't want kids, then all bets are off.

 

This actually shows why many men are afraid of marriage. It's not because they want to live a player lifestyle but because they don't want to become a glorified sperm donor. The settle guy is pretty much the lowest person on the relationship totem pole.

 

There is no advantage whatsoever to it.

[RedRobin]

This actually shows why many men are afraid of marriage. It's not because they want to live a player lifestyle but because they don't want to become a glorified sperm donor. The settle guy is pretty much the lowest person on the relationship totem pole.

 

There is no advantage whatsoever to it.

 

I don't know about no advantage. Where I come from, a lot of men have a harder time getting promoted unless they have a wife and family in tow. Just the opposite for women. Women get pressure from their family and social circle to settle down, but tend to have it easier career wise if they don't have kids.

 

There is also this idea that men can make it well into their 40s and early fifties and have no problems finding someone to start a family with. Unless you look like George Clooney and have a ton if money, then it is not likely.

 

When I was doing OLD, there was no shortage of 40 something and older men desperate to start a family who emailed me. At least, that is the story they sell to younger women so they will have a shot at them, lol. I felt sorry for them if it were true... But mostly I thought it was a marketing pitch so they could try to play out of their league. *shrug*

[ThaWholigan]

I can only assume that George Clooney is not quite the vacuous, serial batchelor, actor that people think he is (although, I did wonder about the bevy of leggy young women he consistently dated ). There's always that one woman that changes things for particular men - I don't really think age has much to do with that. IMO, it could quite easily have been a woman closer to his age.

 

Or maybe I'm giving Clooney a bit too much credit .

[CaliGuy]

Cmon...you??

 

TFY

 

I actually bring a LOT to the plate.

 

The women here in San Diego -- not so much. If I wanted, ex-husband issues, kids that aren't mine and a lot of unnecessary drama, I would have gotten married already.

 

My point being, I am FUN, HAPPY, LOVING MY LIFE kind of person. If there's someone who wants to share that with me, regardless of age, BRING IT ON!

 

I do work out a lot, so I am not necessarily going to take someone who thinks exercise is a "four letter word".... I work out to be attractive to my mate, I would expect "bon bons" and their idea of working out "sitting on the couch" not the idea of working out.

[Tayken]

I can only assume that George Clooney is not quite the vacuous, serial batchelor, actor that people think he is (although, I did wonder about the bevy of leggy young women he consistently dated ). There's always that one woman that changes things for particular men - I don't really think age has much to do with that. IMO, it could quite easily have been a woman closer to his age.

 

Or maybe I'm giving Clooney a bit too much credit .

 

Er.....you unconsciously are mate. I am sure you've heard the rumours before, as to why he hadn't settled down yet previously?

 

Not that I give a monkeys about his alleged inclination or anything. Movie stars have been known to keep mum on these things, in order not to lose certain demographics of fans.

[xxoo]

When I got back into the dating world at 44, 3 of my 4 best prospects were 40+ never-married accomplished women with no children. They certainly exist. It was the 4th prospect that captured my heart, despite having children and some baggage. I'm glad I made the choice I did, but think any of the others would have been good, too.

 

Captured your heart

 

Isn't that what it's all about? That's the intangible that age and checklists can't screen for. The heart wants what the heart wants.

 

Congrats!

[Priv]

There is also this idea that men can make it well into their 40s and early fifties and have no problems finding someone to start a family with. Unless you look like George Clooney and have a ton if money, then it is not likely.

 

When I was doing OLD, there was no shortage of 40 something and older men desperate to start a family who emailed me. At least, that is the story they sell to younger women so they will have a shot at them, lol. I felt sorry for them if it were true... But mostly I thought it was a marketing pitch so they could try to play out of their league. *shrug*

 

I agree with a lot you write RedRobin, but this is just bollocks. I haven't read this entire thread but I am starting to wonder how many women 35+ you have told 'sorry, but you have had your chance while you were doing whatever'. You and I both know how fast life can turn to sh*t without ever having had the chance to realize your dreams. Why not let these men continue to pursue there dream without holding them in contempt for it.

[Woggle]

I don't know about no advantage. Where I come from, a lot of men have a harder time getting promoted unless they have a wife and family in tow. Just the opposite for women. Women get pressure from their family and social circle to settle down, but tend to have it easier career wise if they don't have kids.

 

There is also this idea that men can make it well into their 40s and early fifties and have no problems finding someone to start a family with. Unless you look like George Clooney and have a ton if money, then it is not likely.

 

When I was doing OLD, there was no shortage of 40 something and older men desperate to start a family who emailed me. At least, that is the story they sell to younger women so they will have a shot at them, lol. I felt sorry for them if it were true... But mostly I thought it was a marketing pitch so they could try to play out of their league. *shrug*

 

I would rather be a broke working class guy than be with a woman that feels she settled for me. I can't think of any greater legal torture.

[Tayken]

I would rather be a broke working class guy than be with a woman that feels she settled for me. I can't think of any greater legal torture.

 

 

Unfortunately, there are a lot of relationships and marriages out there where this is the case. There are things you hear by chance.

[FitChick]

Now, as an older WOMAN, I will tell you why I date younger MEN. When you go NORTH of 40, the options for a WOMAN are few/far between. Nearly all MEN close to the same age is either:

 

1. In the process of being divorced (with kids).

2. Recently divorced (with kids).

3. Still recovering from a divorce (with kids).

4. In cases 1-3, there's always a lot of left over baggage.

 

A lot of people assume there's a plethora of single MEN our age, who take care of themselves, who do not have kids and who don't carry any baggage. I hate to say this, but I have higher odds of hitting the jackpot in Vegas than I do of finding an established, single, never married, no-children, single MAN above 40.

 

They are set in their ways. They bring a lot of unnecessary drama.

 

If you are both mentally on the same wavelength I don't see age as an issue. It's the MENTAL compatibility and long term goals that matter.

 

Again -- age is just a number.

 

Fixed your quote to reflect MY experience. There are also quite a few men who are golddiggers looking for a woman with a big divorce settlement and a big house, neither of which I have. Quite a few married younger women the second marriage and have second families so double the baggage.

[CaliGuy]

Fixed your quote to reflect MY experience. There are also quite a few men who are golddiggers looking for a woman with a big divorce settlement and a big house, neither of which I have. Quite a few married younger women the second marriage and have second families so double the baggage.

 

Agree. If you're an older woman and prefer a younger guy...I am all for it! Do what you want to in order to be happy.

 

I don't age discriminate.

 

I "intellectually" discriminate.

I "happiness" discriminate.

I "need" discriminate.

 

Meaning if they don't enjoy intelligent banter/discussions, happy times (ie: no drama) and appear needy I walk away. Again, I don't bring baggage (not meaning kids but just generally unhappy people) then I move on. I'm too care free and happy for junk!

[MidwestUSA]

There you go, there is always something that messes up the equation. As the saying goes, "you can't have it all".

 

Men that are intimidated by strong women, and by strong I mean independent, glass ceiling shattering, intellectual types, are usually the ones who's idea of achievement is owning the biggest truck there is, or killing the biggest game, and can't communicate.

 

Well, now that you mention it, one was Dodge Dakota guy, and the other was Big Buck guy! My neighbor was so grateful when that truck stopped coming around.

 

 

And you're dead on about communication.

[NJ123]

I think anything more than 15 years is way too much of an age gap. The further away you are in age, the less you'll have in common due to being from a different generation. I know some say age doesn't mean nothing, but sorry if I'm single in 2025, I'm not going to want to date some girl who was born in the 2000s. I'd have absolutely nothing in common with them.

[fortyninethousand322]

The way I look at it, at 26 I'm too inexperienced to date women my own age or younger, and too inexperienced to date women to date older women. Plus I look about a decade older than I am. That doesn't help things.

[CaliGuy]

The way I look at it, at 26 I'm too inexperienced to date women my own age or younger, and too inexperienced to date women to date older women. Plus I look about a decade older than I am. That doesn't help things.

 

So from what I gather:

 

1. You feel you are not good enough for those younger and...

2. Not good enough for those older yet...

3. Feel you look too old for your own age group.

 

My friend, you're what I call a pessimist. And those who are pessimist will never find a partner in life. That is because you will project that pessimism on to women. Instant turn off.

 

Stop beating yourself down. Nothing attractive about that. Smile a lot, have fun, be a fun person to be around and put negativity behind you -- you'll find someone!

[CaliGuy]

I think anything more than 15 years is way too much of an age gap. The further away you are in age, the less you'll have in common due to being from a different generation. I know some say age doesn't mean nothing, but sorry if I'm single in 2025, I'm not going to want to date some girl who was born in the 2000s. I'd have absolutely nothing in common with them.

 

You're lumping people into categories when not everyone fits into the same one. Age is a numerical factor, not always a fact, when it comes to dating. Just saying....

[RedRobin]

I agree with a lot you write RedRobin, but this is just bollocks. I haven't read this entire thread but I am starting to wonder how many women 35+ you have told 'sorry, but you have had your chance while you were doing whatever'. You and I both know how fast life can turn to sh*t without ever having had the chance to realize your dreams. Why not let these men continue to pursue there dream without holding them in contempt for it.

 

I tell them that all the time... usually well before they hit 35+. Men too.

 

 

Except that, it's usually only men who get told the world is their oyster until they are past middle aged and beyond. Women get that message long before then. It's only the 20 something women who are truly a bit dense about it, and I warn them too.

Edited October 1, 2014 by RedRobin

[CaliGuy]

I tell them that all the time... usually well before they hit 35+. Men too.

 

 

Except that, it's usually only men who get told the world is their oyster until they are past middle aged and beyond. Women get that message long before then. It's only the 20 something women who are truly a bit dense about it, and I warn them too.

 

You called it what it was. A spade, and totally agree with you. I have often told women, regardless of their age, if they are a PITA, to HIT THE FRIKKEN ROAD!!!

 

I just don't have time for head games. (Sorry Foreigner).