vsmini Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 He's told me he's not one to talk about emotions, but he shows his feelings by doing things for me. He said it was always an issue with his ex-GFs so I'm trying NOT to be that girl. But it sounds to me that you're also trying hard to NOT be yourself and instead of expressing your actual needs and concerns in a relationship you're making excuses and calling yourself "needy" Most of the time people call others "needy" when they are not being needy at all - it's manipulative. It's basically saying "I'm not prepared to meet any of your needs so anything that you are asking for makes you needy and weak." When people hear this they often feel guilty and apologize for putting pressure on their man/woman and back off....all the while feeling resentful and not being in a fulfilling relationship.
Author azsinglegal Posted July 20, 2011 Author Posted July 20, 2011 (edited) Oh no!!!!!!!!!! You are a FWB-------no doubt. Any red blooded normal male will have sex with the GF after not seeing her for ten days. Heck, I was married for many years and always had sex with my wife when returning from a trip. I suggest you have the conversation now and make your decision. I'm confused. Because we didn't have sex I'm a FWB? Now thinking about it, this makes sense...it's because he didn't miss me emotionally and didn't desire me that way. He was perfectly content NOT having sex. Although, I do have to say it was the first day of my period and I had a bad kidney infection so I was not feeling good at all. I was actually in really bad shape. Edited July 20, 2011 by azsinglegal
Author azsinglegal Posted July 20, 2011 Author Posted July 20, 2011 FWB: FWB implies he can take you or leave you without causing him any emotional concerns. He is not emotionally invested in you. You are a friend that he can f**** or not f**** and that is OK. Your rationalization about the UTI is not good enough. Any red blooded male that is into a woman (after not seeing her for ten days) would have initiated sex. Thank you.
yolatanga Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 This is the oldest story in the book. Now you feel bad because you had sex in a non-exclusive relationship. You gave your best and this guy was simply using you. That is why I always recommend to have sex only in an exclusive monogamous relationship. If a guy really wants you he will not go away. It seems women think the guy will run for the hills if there is a talk of exclusivity. If he runs he was not into you and problem solved. Giving him sex will not alter his thinking. In fact, once he has sex a few times he will move on even faster. Thank you. I know I messed up and let him use me knowing full well he was no good for me. I'm mad at myself. Sex does not make a relationship.
rafallus Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 Exceptions to the rule are not considered proper form in a debate. A bold statement. Got any non-anecdotal evidence, proving, what's the rule and what's the exception?
Author azsinglegal Posted July 20, 2011 Author Posted July 20, 2011 (edited) In all honesty, I'm not unhappy with our situation. He's good to me and I'm not sure if I really want a long term relationship with him. I just got out of something very bad and for now, he's suiting my needs. I've just been wondering lately based on his actions if he was wanting more of a relationship OR if things were exactly how I was seeing them. I'm not too emotionally attached to him. I enjoy his company, we have fun together, his gym training is awesome...but long term? I don't feel like I'm really "falling for him". Things just are, if that makes any sense. It's just that lately I've been approached by a few other men for dates and I'm not sure if I should say yes to them, or see where things go with the guy now. I didn't know if he saw us as exclusive and I don't want to ask because I don't want to run him off and change how things are going. I appreciate all the comments and opinions. I guess the truth is, I'm not his GF, he doesn't see me as his GF and he's not emotionally tied to me. Recognizing these factors was really an eye opener. Edited July 20, 2011 by azsinglegal
yolatanga Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 I finally got some silly text from him. He told me he was on a business trip and he would see me next week. No he is not. I saw him since we live in the same complex. WTH? Why lie about that? he always seems to tell these silly lies. I called him out on it. I told him off via text and now he's saying maybe it was a mistake we slept together. ya think? I didn't want it to be a mistake, but the message he is sending is that it was. I told him that I didn't want to see him next week nor any other day. Now I've said too much to him. I hate being reduced to texting communication. I believe he is seeing someone else is why he disappears. Why not just say so?
Author azsinglegal Posted July 21, 2011 Author Posted July 21, 2011 Good point! We could easily get some scientific data by studying the number of posts in this forum that have to do with disappointment in FWB relationships. I would venture to say it is mostly women complaining about FWB. I'm not disappointed in mine. Now that I recognize I'm not viewed as a GF, I'm perfectly content with how things are going. I'm having a ton of fun with him and thanks to his training my body is building a lot of muscle. It is exactly what it is. As long as I don't have any expectations for anything else, I'm good. He's really good to me too, so I'll hold onto that as long as I can.
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