fantasi2424 Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 hello, i started this thread because i wanted to ask your opinion if i was right when i ended all my old friendships these last months.. but people just change, we change, they change, people just get bored with each other and stop caring... we have to move on.. so .. anyone who would like to be friend with me?? let's make a new start right now... some things about me: 1)i'm vegan but i accept everyone as long as they respect me 2)i love reading philosophy, psychology 3)i want to make a new start in my life, to move to a different country, to study e.t.c. 4)i care about others and especially for my friends (when they care for me too) 5) i'm in a long term relationship 6) i would like to communicate with people from different countries and to learn about their cultures. so... i made a step.. it's up to you now.. if you want to.. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 I'm feeling like I should end a 30-year friendship right now. I have this friend who I've considered my best friend since high school. He's got his ways though an is a bit neurotic. He's shacking up with a girl 20 years younger with her three kids and we're down to just e-mailing each other once or twice a year now. I'm totally sick of him telling me the "things are really busy here now" every time we touch base. I don't want to hear that. People MAKE TIME for those who matter to them and at the rate of once a year I simply do not want to hear that same old excuse for why he either hasn't answered an e-mail or sent me one. I sent him one on his birthday in June and he didn't acknowledge it. Then he finally replied yesterday when it was my birthday and predictably as hell he had to say the same thing as usual "sorry I haven't been in touch but things are really busy here right now". He must really think I'm a damn fool and that I just buy that crap every time. So it was my birthday and I said "thanks" but I really wanted to rip him another a-hole and tell him to not bother with me anymore. It always sounds like he's doing me a favor now in his meager time which is a lot of crap. I know damn well that he's not that "busy"--he's just lying to himself and thinks I buy it. I would never ever tell anyone that I was fond of that I'm too busy to wish them a happy birthday or w/e. We MAKE TIME for those we regard. I've had it and don't think I can make believe it doesn't piss me off anymore. If I get an e-mail from him, I'm going to ignore it. Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 I'm feeling like I should end a 30-year friendship right now. I have this friend who I've considered my best friend since high school. He's got his ways though an is a bit neurotic. He's shacking up with a girl 20 years younger with her three kids and we're down to just e-mailing each other once or twice a year now. I'm totally sick of him telling me the "things are really busy here now" every time we touch base. I don't want to hear that. People MAKE TIME for those who matter to them and at the rate of once a year I simply do not want to hear that same old excuse for why he either hasn't answered an e-mail or sent me one. I sent him one on his birthday in June and he didn't acknowledge it. Then he finally replied yesterday when it was my birthday and predictably as hell he had to say the same thing as usual "sorry I haven't been in touch but things are really busy here right now". He must really think I'm a damn fool and that I just buy that crap every time. So it was my birthday and I said "thanks" but I really wanted to rip him another a-hole and tell him to not bother with me anymore. It always sounds like he's doing me a favor now in his meager time which is a lot of crap. I know damn well that he's not that "busy"--he's just lying to himself and thinks I buy it. I would never ever tell anyone that I was fond of that I'm too busy to wish them a happy birthday or w/e. We MAKE TIME for those we regard. I've had it and don't think I can make believe it doesn't piss me off anymore. If I get an e-mail from him, I'm going to ignore it. Ouch, sorry you're going through that. I feel your pain.....I've had a couple of long-term girlfriends do the same to me in the last two years...it really sucks.Especially when they're friends who you've been there for........ I tried talking with one friend rationally, gently, about how I was feeling hurt by her absence---only to be met with blameshifting---there was no ownership of behavior on her part. She accused me of "just trying to make her feel bad......" Why on earth would I want to make a friend feel bad? As if. All I did was state how I felt---and that made me the 'bad guy'. ooookay then. I decided there was no point in further discussion , if my friend wasn't going to acknowledge my feelings, or own her actions. I'm finally reaching the conclusion that not everyone shares my standards for friendship---I'm a thick& thin, all-weather, loyal friend who hangs in there for the long haul, and I don't ditch my friends just because I'm in a relationship. (I did that once in my 20's , and learned a hard lesson...it's not wise to put all your focus on one person---you shouldn't ignore your old friends just because there's someone new in your life. If the relationship ends---you're left holding the bag, all alone.) but, it seems a lot of folks still haven't figured that out yet. Men and women both. It is insulting when an old friend acts the way yours did, FF. As if they are being magnanimous by tossing a few crumbs your way, once in a while---but for the most part, they've vanished. It can feel like they're just trying to placate you, and not acknowledging your feelings. For what it's worth--it sounds like this is more about him, than it is about you. Sometimes people just flake on us, and there's nothing we can do about it.Except hope that they come to their senses............ Link to post Share on other sites
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