fauxleather Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 And it doesn't seem to get any better! I'm still harboring stupid hopes. I've been keeping myself REALLY busy. Massively meeting up friends and indulging in hobbies and exercising. But she is still always on the back of my head. This is sooooooo irritating and detrimental to my life it's pissing me off, but the heart doesn't cooperate. When does all these ever get better??
livy07 Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 And it doesn't seem to get any better! I'm still harboring stupid hopes. I've been keeping myself REALLY busy. Massively meeting up friends and indulging in hobbies and exercising. But she is still always on the back of my head. This is sooooooo irritating and detrimental to my life it's pissing me off, but the heart doesn't cooperate. When does all these ever get better?? The time frame is unique to each individual and each relationship. Just keep at it. Whatever you do, maintain NC. Contacting her will only put you back at square one.
thelovingkind Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 3 weeks is a touuuugh point. The hurt has barely faded, sometimes it's even worse than the first week, and it feels like there's no end in sight. But things do turn around, and if you're keeping things ticking in your life, keeping up with the NC, and keeping your mind in the right place, there is no way things won't improve. I promise
livy07 Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 FYI -- I will enter the 3rd week this coming Tuesday. It's definitely a roller coaster ride. Some days, I feel okay. Others I am on the verge of tears all day, missing him horribly, wondering what he's thinking, etc. etc. It DOES get easier. I promise.
Author fauxleather Posted July 17, 2011 Author Posted July 17, 2011 Thanks for the kind replies.. My mood has been heavily fluctuating as well. Sometimes I feel like I'm a girl on perma-PMS seriously. Sometimes I feel great and triumphant on how I've gotten over this whole thing and how the next girl that's gonna come along is gonna be better, but sometimes I just go down in the dumps thinking about how she is really going to move on with another guy sooner or later. The feelings are SO weird. But I'll never break NC. Not until at least a month anyway, cause that's the initial target I set for myself. And we'll just see how it goes from there.
livy07 Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 Thanks for the kind replies.. My mood has been heavily fluctuating as well. Sometimes I feel like I'm a girl on perma-PMS seriously. Sometimes I feel great and triumphant on how I've gotten over this whole thing and how the next girl that's gonna come along is gonna be better, but sometimes I just go down in the dumps thinking about how she is really going to move on with another guy sooner or later. The feelings are SO weird. But I'll never break NC. Not until at least a month anyway, cause that's the initial target I set for myself. And we'll just see how it goes from there. Yep!! I know exactly what you mean. I go from "oh he's not that great, we weren't even that compatible, the LDR was too much work, it wouldn't have worked anyway" to "when is he going to call me?? why hasn't he called me yet?? what is he thinking? Is he dating someone already??" It's crazy!! But it really and truly does get easier. It sounds like you have the same resolve to keep NC as I do. That's the only thing we can do right now... maintain NC and wait for the storm to pass.
Author fauxleather Posted July 17, 2011 Author Posted July 17, 2011 Yep!! I know exactly what you mean. I go from "oh he's not that great, we weren't even that compatible, the LDR was too much work, it wouldn't have worked anyway" to "when is he going to call me?? why hasn't he called me yet?? what is he thinking? Is he dating someone already??" It's crazy!! But it really and truly does get easier. It sounds like you have the same resolve to keep NC as I do. That's the only thing we can do right now... maintain NC and wait for the storm to pass. Good to know I'm not alone in this battle! Whatever it is, it can only get better. But my ex has been displaying really erratic childish behavior these days though. Over the past 3 weeks, she has like muted me on twitter, posted really weird facebook updates about disappointments and stuffs, blogged about how happy she is one day and blogging "im sorry" the next day, un-tagged photos with me in FB and all. It's AS IF I've been really bothering her these few weeks seriously when the truth of the matter is I've not been in contact at all.
livy07 Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 But my ex has been displaying really erratic childish behavior these days though. Over the past 3 weeks, she has like muted me on twitter, posted really weird facebook updates about disappointments and stuffs, blogged about how happy she is one day and blogging "im sorry" the next day, un-tagged photos with me in FB and all. It's AS IF I've been really bothering her these few weeks seriously when the truth of the matter is I've not been in contact at all. Meh. What does any of this information change? Nothing. Unless she comes to you in a mature, caring way and wants to reconcile, then nothing she says or does is worth your attention or contemplation. The VERY NEXT step you should take (if you haven't already) is to de-friend her on Facebook and cut ties on all other social networking sites. This is not about being childish or petty; it's about turning your focus to yourself and getting on with your life. Believe me, it's like a huge weight lifted off your shoulders when you don't have those sorts of issues to deal with anymore. It's a total mind**** and not at all worth your time or energy.
Author fauxleather Posted July 17, 2011 Author Posted July 17, 2011 Meh. What does any of this information change? Nothing. Unless she comes to you in a mature, caring way and wants to reconcile, then nothing she says or does is worth your attention or contemplation. The VERY NEXT step you should take (if you haven't already) is to de-friend her on Facebook and cut ties on all other social networking sites. This is not about being childish or petty; it's about turning your focus to yourself and getting on with your life. Believe me, it's like a huge weight lifted off your shoulders when you don't have those sorts of issues to deal with anymore. It's a total mind**** and not at all worth your time or energy. I know what you mean man. She's being horribly immature if you ask me. I've already blocked her on FB and cut off all connections from other social media. The only thing that I'm still unable to control right now is to take a sneak peek at her blog/tumblr like maybe once a day kinda thing. I know it's bad but, in comparison to the first 2 weeks of constant cyber-stalking, I think I've made drastic improvements. But yeah, unless she's gonna be matured enough to at least attempt to reconcile like a grown-up, I guess she's really not worth my time.
livy07 Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 But yeah, unless she's gonna be matured enough to at least attempt to reconcile like a grown-up, I guess she's really not worth my time. Good for you. This is exactly the mindset you need to maintain. Take her down off that pedestal you've put her up on, and realize that there are plenty of women out there that would love to give you a chance You can't be open to other, more positive opportunities if you are still looking back. Stop looking back. It's all ahead of you
Author fauxleather Posted July 17, 2011 Author Posted July 17, 2011 Good for you. This is exactly the mindset you need to maintain. Take her down off that pedestal you've put her up on, and realize that there are plenty of women out there that would love to give you a chance You can't be open to other, more positive opportunities if you are still looking back. Stop looking back. It's all ahead of you Yup! I guess this is one of those up-moods? Hahaha I know myself well, sooner or later I'll feel down again like how all my emotions fluctuate, but I'll do my best to maintain anyway. More power to you too! We will pull through NC easily and have brighter days ahead.
livy07 Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 Yup! I guess this is one of those up-moods? Hahaha I know myself well, sooner or later I'll feel down again like how all my emotions fluctuate, but I'll do my best to maintain anyway. More power to you too! We will pull through NC easily and have brighter days ahead. The last time I was really down and missing him and wanting him back, I stumbled across this thread and it helped me tremendously: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t272674/ I read the entire first post and it really hit me that I need to work on MYSELF, and that it's not even necessarily him that I will want by the time I reach that level of satisfaction and self-worth. I think we would all benefit from learning to be happy on our own.
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