mavlast Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 [Feel free to correct my choice of post location if this is the wrong spot. It's my first post here!] [Warning: graphic language ahead] [Please don't point and laugh. I am a product of abstinence-only education. It's their fault I tell you!] Hello all, I've recently been very interested in having a casual sex relationship, but I have a few questions/concerns before I start. Help? Thanks. 1. I've considered using "adult dating" sites (I'm an adult male), but I haven't been to any yet because I've heard that they can be havens for prostitution/underage people. I'm especially worried that I'll accidentally come across an underage photo (because of the nature of the site). Is this a reasonable concern? I would definitely not say anything sexual to the person or agree to meet them unless I was sure that they were an adult. 2. I might start a casual relationship that blossoms into a much more deep one, but on the other hand I might be interested in having an emotional relationship (i.e., boyfriend/girlfriend) at the same time. Is this possible, and if so, what should I say to each person? 3. Frankly, I'm inexperienced. Should I be upfront with my partner and let her take over, or just do the best I can? (Maybe do something easy first, like give oral, to get off on the right foot?) 4. If someone explicitly lists "casual sex" as one of their interests on a regular site, when and how should meeting for that purpose be brought up? Even when they say that that's what they want, I don't want to come off like a pig. (Maybe propose a short date, with festivities afterward?) 5. How should I bring up things that I want to try, especially if I'd like to go slowly at first? 6. Guys -- when do you put on a condom? Right before, or do you do it well in advance? 7. Can you get STI's from giving a woman oral? 8. Any other advice for me? Thanks muchly.
Saxis Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 ...get off on the right foot? I have no experience with casual sex or FWB situations, but considering your inexperience, I would recommend you lie down or at least stand on both feet until you get the hang of it.
Dust Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 [Feel free to correct my choice of post location if this is the wrong spot. It's my first post here!] [Warning: graphic language ahead] [Please don't point and laugh. I am a product of abstinence-only education. It's their fault I tell you!] I’d like to point out there was no graphic language in this post. Good job making a big warning for nothing though. Hello all, I've recently been very interested in having a casual sex relationship, but I have a few questions/concerns before I start. Help? Thanks. I’ve got some questions too. How old are you? What state do you live in? Tell us a little more about yourself. Are you in college? What do you do? 1. I've considered using "adult dating" sites (I'm an adult male)' date=' but I haven't been to any yet because I've heard that they can be havens for prostitution/underage people. I'm especially worried that I'll accidentally come across an underage photo (because of the nature of the site). Is this a reasonable concern? I would definitely not say anything sexual to the person or agree to meet them unless I was sure that they were an adult.[/quote'] It’s probably a haven for more then you or any one else should ever know. I don’t have any experience with adult dating sites but craigslist is bad enough. You’ll get gay men propositioning you probably. You’ll get weirdo’s trying to get you to sleep with their unattractive old wife. Who the heck knows? I suggest you take a more natural approach and just meet a woman in person. Ask her out. When a girl does agree to go out with you make a move and have fun with her. You’ll make mistakes but you really need to make some mistakes to learn. 2. I might start a casual relationship that blossoms into a much more deep one' date=' but on the other hand I might be interested in having an emotional relationship (i.e., boyfriend/girlfriend) at the same time. Is this possible, and if so, what should I say to each person?[/quote'] When I first meet a girl its all very casual. I’ll have sex with a girl 100% of the time before saying “I love you” or anything like that. In fact if a girl says she’s waiting to have sex until she is married or engaged or anything like that I out right tell her I believe in sex before any of that. I don’t just bring that up though. It’s pretty much accepted that everything is casual until you have the bf/gf talk or whatever. Even after you have the bf/gf talk which is basically “you’re my gf and I’m you’re bf and we’re not going to date other people” things still stay casual its just you’ve agreed to be exclusive and you call each other bf/gf/ Serious mile markers for me is when you move in together. Then after that would be engagement and marriage. You can make it up in any way you want. So for the most part it’s understood things are casual when you start a relationship. Even after you start calling each other gf/bf it’s still casual and other then expecting to be the only opposite gender person in each others life for that time, nothing like marriage or engagement is presumed unless talked about. No reason to bring it up. Yes a casual relationship is what I recommend. I also recommend you stay away from internet dating and rely instead on asking out women in real life. Women you see where you hang out. Women you see at the park etc. Ask them out. 3. Frankly' date=' I'm inexperienced. Should I be upfront with my partner and let her take over, or just do the best I can? (Maybe do something easy first, like give oral, to get off on the right foot?)[/quote'] Most guys who’ve been having lots of sex for a long time suck at it. Girls usually get really into sex with a new guy because they like them. If they didn’t like you they wouldn’t be getting naked with you. So, it’s not all about technique. The most important things for good sex are to be in shape. Be clean. Be able to have a good hard boner. Other then that you can figure the rest out yourself. I mean no shame in asking for help getting in. Even I ask for help guiding my member in and I’ve had lots of sex. Just make sure you get her good and wet with foreplay first. Women can’t get turned on as quick as men. Kiss her body. Gently touch her all over. Then finger her. You don’t have to stick your finger in the vagina, just kind of quickly move your finger back and fortht like you are clicking a computer mouse. You know right in the slit. Ask if it feels good in a sexy way and try to get her to orgasm. With eating her out you just go down there and lick as quick as you can. Feel free to ask for tips but a lot of girls hate being put on the spot and the LAST thing you want to do is make them feel like some teacher of sex for you. They hate that. Most girls like feeling like you are teaching and exploring them. I wouldn’t recommend displaying your inexperience as some badge of honor. This isn’t your first week at the supermarket checkout. You’re “I’m new” badge won’t draw any sympathy, most likely it will annoy them. Just keep it to yourself how inexperienced you are. I mean if they flat out ask are you a virgin you can say “yes” if you want, but don’t make a big deal about it. 4. If someone explicitly lists "casual sex" as one of their interests on a regular site' date=' when and how should meeting for that purpose be brought up? Even when they say that that's what they want, I don't want to come off like a pig. (Maybe propose a short date, with festivities afterward?)[/quote'] Some one who lists casual sex as an interest is probably trouble. It’s just not a normal thing to list. I mean maybe they did it for humor, but mostly I would probably tread lightly on a situation like that. Better to go after a girl you just like and not focus on the sex. If you focus on the sex you’ll give yourself trouble and lower the quality of woman. If you just go after girls that you are attracted to you could easily end up having casual sex on the first date if you just try. 5. How should I bring up things that I want to try' date=' especially if I'd like to go slowly at first?[/quote'] First things first you must act. You don’t just talk about sex. You touch, you kiss, you invite them somewhere private just because it will be “fun” and you start making out and touching like crazy and see if the clothes come off. You don’t just have some unnatural conversation about it. You don’t really bring things up. You’re the guy so just go slow if you want to go slow. Seriously if you get some girl trying to tear your clothes off which has never happened to me then you’ll pretty much be at her mercy and nothing I say here could stop her or you from wanting it. 6. Guys -- when do you put on a condom? Right before' date=' or do you do it well in advance? [/quote'] I recommend you practice putting on condoms well in advance. Like figure it now. Don’t be trying on condoms before you go out or what ever. For the love of god don’t try to wear a condom the entire date. Do not even where a condom for the entire foreplay. When the clothes are coming off you get the condom ready. You take it out and put it by the bed or what ever. You’ll want to eat her out or what ever before you’ve had sex. Because her vagina will taste like nasty condom if you don’t. So it’s now or never. Oral is great foreplay but for a beginner I think finger her would be best. Make sure she is really wet. The condom should be in a little metal tin mint case to protect it. Take the condom out and when you are ready and hard and about to go in her. Roll the condom down your shaft. You don’t pull it down. You roll it down. Leaving a bit at the end. You pinch the end as you roll it down to keep air out. You should read up on how to do it. Then you have fun. 7. Can you get STI's from giving a woman oral? You can get STI’s from doing anything. You can get a woman pregnant even if you have a condom. For me though sex is worth the risk. Don’t make yourself paranoid. The thing is because of risk of birth and sti’s you should pick some one you really like. I’m not saying find some one you want to marry. Just find some one you are genuinely attracted to. Then ask do you have any STI’s? 8. Any other advice for me? Thanks muchly. Yeah dude get out there and ask some women out. You can’t learn most of this stuff online. You have to learn it from doing. Most important thing to remember is use a condom. Learn how to roll it on. Realize that you can get an STI, or a girl pregnant even with a condom. I think the risks are worth it though. I don’t randomly sleep with people. Me and my gf were having casual sex when we first started going out. Didn’t actually call each other gf and bf till after we had sex. The thing is I genuinely liked her. We were honest with each other and we did end up becoming more then just to people attracted.
Red Arremer Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 I've recently been very interested in having a casual sex relationship, but I have a few questions/concerns before I start. Help? Thanks. Since you're male, all I can really say is, good luck. Especially if you plan on trying to set this up online.
cheergirl Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 I’d like to point out there was no graphic language in this post. Good job making a big warning for nothing though. I’ve got some questions too. How old are you? What state do you live in? Tell us a little more about yourself. Are you in college? What do you do? It’s probably a haven for more then you or any one else should ever know. I don’t have any experience with adult dating sites but craigslist is bad enough. You’ll get gay men propositioning you probably. You’ll get weirdo’s trying to get you to sleep with their unattractive old wife. Who the heck knows? I suggest you take a more natural approach and just meet a woman in person. Ask her out. When a girl does agree to go out with you make a move and have fun with her. You’ll make mistakes but you really need to make some mistakes to learn. When I first meet a girl its all very casual. I’ll have sex with a girl 100% of the time before saying “I love you” or anything like that. In fact if a girl says she’s waiting to have sex until she is married or engaged or anything like that I out right tell her I believe in sex before any of that. I don’t just bring that up though. It’s pretty much accepted that everything is casual until you have the bf/gf talk or whatever. Even after you have the bf/gf talk which is basically “you’re my gf and I’m you’re bf and we’re not going to date other people” things still stay casual its just you’ve agreed to be exclusive and you call each other bf/gf/ Serious mile markers for me is when you move in together. Then after that would be engagement and marriage. You can make it up in any way you want. So for the most part it’s understood things are casual when you start a relationship. Even after you start calling each other gf/bf it’s still casual and other then expecting to be the only opposite gender person in each others life for that time, nothing like marriage or engagement is presumed unless talked about. No reason to bring it up. Yes a casual relationship is what I recommend. I also recommend you stay away from internet dating and rely instead on asking out women in real life. Women you see where you hang out. Women you see at the park etc. Ask them out. Most guys who’ve been having lots of sex for a long time suck at it. Girls usually get really into sex with a new guy because they like them. If they didn’t like you they wouldn’t be getting naked with you. So, it’s not all about technique. The most important things for good sex are to be in shape. Be clean. Be able to have a good hard boner. Other then that you can figure the rest out yourself. I mean no shame in asking for help getting in. Even I ask for help guiding my member in and I’ve had lots of sex. Just make sure you get her good and wet with foreplay first. Women can’t get turned on as quick as men. Kiss her body. Gently touch her all over. Then finger her. You don’t have to stick your finger in the vagina, just kind of quickly move your finger back and fortht like you are clicking a computer mouse. You know right in the slit. Ask if it feels good in a sexy way and try to get her to orgasm. With eating her out you just go down there and lick as quick as you can. Feel free to ask for tips but a lot of girls hate being put on the spot and the LAST thing you want to do is make them feel like some teacher of sex for you. They hate that. Most girls like feeling like you are teaching and exploring them. I wouldn’t recommend displaying your inexperience as some badge of honor. This isn’t your first week at the supermarket checkout. You’re “I’m new” badge won’t draw any sympathy, most likely it will annoy them. Just keep it to yourself how inexperienced you are. I mean if they flat out ask are you a virgin you can say “yes” if you want, but don’t make a big deal about it. Some one who lists casual sex as an interest is probably trouble. It’s just not a normal thing to list. I mean maybe they did it for humor, but mostly I would probably tread lightly on a situation like that. Better to go after a girl you just like and not focus on the sex. If you focus on the sex you’ll give yourself trouble and lower the quality of woman. If you just go after girls that you are attracted to you could easily end up having casual sex on the first date if you just try. First things first you must act. You don’t just talk about sex. You touch, you kiss, you invite them somewhere private just because it will be “fun” and you start making out and touching like crazy and see if the clothes come off. You don’t just have some unnatural conversation about it. You don’t really bring things up. You’re the guy so just go slow if you want to go slow. Seriously if you get some girl trying to tear your clothes off which has never happened to me then you’ll pretty much be at her mercy and nothing I say here could stop her or you from wanting it. I recommend you practice putting on condoms well in advance. Like figure it now. Don’t be trying on condoms before you go out or what ever. For the love of god don’t try to wear a condom the entire date. Do not even where a condom for the entire foreplay. When the clothes are coming off you get the condom ready. You take it out and put it by the bed or what ever. You’ll want to eat her out or what ever before you’ve had sex. Because her vagina will taste like nasty condom if you don’t. So it’s now or never. Oral is great foreplay but for a beginner I think finger her would be best. Make sure she is really wet. The condom should be in a little metal tin mint case to protect it. Take the condom out and when you are ready and hard and about to go in her. Roll the condom down your shaft. You don’t pull it down. You roll it down. Leaving a bit at the end. You pinch the end as you roll it down to keep air out. You should read up on how to do it. Then you have fun. You can get STI’s from doing anything. You can get a woman pregnant even if you have a condom. For me though sex is worth the risk. Don’t make yourself paranoid. The thing is because of risk of birth and sti’s you should pick some one you really like. I’m not saying find some one you want to marry. Just find some one you are genuinely attracted to. Then ask do you have any STI’s? Yeah dude get out there and ask some women out. You can’t learn most of this stuff online. You have to learn it from doing. Most important thing to remember is use a condom. Learn how to roll it on. Realize that you can get an STI, or a girl pregnant even with a condom. I think the risks are worth it though. I don’t randomly sleep with people. Me and my gf were having casual sex when we first started going out. Didn’t actually call each other gf and bf till after we had sex. The thing is I genuinely liked her. We were honest with each other and we did end up becoming more then just to people attracted. This is really good advice!
oaks Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 7. Can you get STI's from giving a woman oral? Yes, absolutely. And give them, in some cases. For further reading, find out what a "dental dam" is, and how you can both get tested for STIs.
Recommended Posts