confusedmale12 Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 (edited) Saw this girl in class, class ended and she added me on Facebook. Shes 19 and I am 22. I accepted and initiated first chat and we hit it off, and eventually got her number. I was first to text, first to call, first to ask to hang out/date. Anyway, 3-4 dates in and they are fantastic and we get along great. Invited her up to our lake house and the weekend was great and we ended up having sex twice. First night we were drinking a little, the second we were pretty sober. All this in a week and a half period. Our routine is texting maybe 3-4 times a day, if we don't talk or hang out. After the weekend she said she had a good time, snubbed my text thanking her for coming up, her good time, how traffic was. Called her later that night to check in on her trip back and inquire about some items she may have mistakenly taken. Got a response later about her being tired, napping, and wanting to sleep..I left it alone till the next day. Texted her the next day etc getting to know her plans, seemed distant again, so I left it alone, until I had some news about another trip and another function we planned on going to and wanted to meet up and talk about it, she was busy so I said its no big deal and it can wait for the dinner we had planned previously in two days. Next day, texted late night about hoping she had fun at a conert being playful, no response. Then the day of the dinner I texted her expressing how things feel different, but I still wanted to take her to dinner...She proceeds to put up pictures of our weekend trip making it seem like we are a couple. I get no response to my text and I made other plans. Told her so, I felt like things were awkward, and told her so and said I was backing off. She texted later saying sorry, she was having problems didn't want to talk to anyone and said have a good night and be safe. She then proceeds to make her prof pic to one of us. Next day didn't say anything till late night in a chat, we went back in forth about my missing items, playfully flirting, seemed fine, she asked me about my night and my rebuttle was snubbed...left it alone. She was going on vacation, so the next day I called her, she snubbed it, left a message and said if I didn't see or hear from her to have a safe and fun trip, and maybe well talk when I get back. Never heard back, changed her prof pic of us to one of her, and I think limited my access. Now I am not too attached and have stuck to my guns about backing off. I haven't sent a peep in 5 days or so, but I do like this girl and we get along great and had a great time. We had no label, but she sent mixed signals about US, which is why I stuck around and making this thread. Should I let her make contact since I always initiated and told her I was backing off? Should I leave it alone? Does she think I just want sex for moving too quick? Is she just confused? Or should I just leave it as her having problems, and move on? I do not need this girl, and I don't want to be pushy when she is sending such mixed signals and bailing on the dinner we setup. I have been assertive, but I have expressed to her that she needs to step up and express herself directly, which she hasn't. She seems flaky, but like I said I did like her and we did get along. Maybe I did something wrong, but that is why I am here...help! lol... Edited July 13, 2011 by confusedmale12
iJester Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Fall back, hard. Don't initiate anything and start going after others. Make her do all chasing from now until she brings up a relationship(if that's what you want). At this point though, just go on about your life as if she doesn't exist. When she decides to come back around, do NOT stop talking to other girls. Just treat her as a jump off and you'll be fine.
Author confusedmale12 Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 Yeah I have fallen back, ever since the Monday after the weekend and initiated contact on my end drastically changed because I knew something was up and I was not going to put in such effort when it wasn't being reciprocated. Especially after the flaked dinner. To tell you the truth I wouldn't mind dating her, but too soon to want a relationship out of her really. She just was sending mixed signals, especially with pictures I found she posted on her tumblr too...its so weird. I have been looking into others, and didn't drop everything for this girl anyway since it was only a two week period. I am not saying I dated anyone while dating her, but I am not attached like OMG I WANT HER, but I do like her because we do have a lot of fun together that's all. I'll stick with my gut and let her be the one to make the move which is what I have been trying to get her to do. If she is comfortable with posting those pictures making her seem desirable and not so alone, knowing she had sex with me for that purpose so be it...she just proves to have some major insecurity issues...especially with wanting to be chased that hard... Thanks though for validating my standpoint.
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