MissVegas Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 My current boyfriend and I had a long breakup before we got back together roughly 3 months ago. I feel like during our breakup I gained a lot of insight and matured and changed. No longer do mind games, lying, deceit and hurting one another interest me. I'm also much more laid back and understanding about my boyfriend going out and doing stuff with friends. However a few things have been bothering me. I had asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go to vegas and he said no like he didn't want to/couldn't get time off work etc which was fine so I booked a trip with my friends. After booking a trip with my friends I was at his house and noticed he had a reservation for vegas booked for a long time ago with his friend for the end of august. I told him I was going to Vegas and also told him I saw his reservation and told him I was happy for him but at the same time said he can be open about telling me that kind of stuff and not be afraid of my reaction because my reactions to stuff like that in the past have been scary *basically I would fly off the handle* after I said this he denied having the booking and said i must have been mistaken even though it clearly says when it was booked and the hotel and dates etc... So i thought that was kind of fishy but let it be and just reminded him i loved him and he could be open and trust in me that i wouldn't fly off the handle and communication was important. My boyfriend also had a facebook status about going to some concert and I noticed at his house he had tickets I thought they might have been my birthday gift so I didn't say anything. When I asked his status and about him going he said he wasn't *even though he had the tickets* then magically a few days before the concert he won tickets and was inviting his friend *who's a guy*. So okay..I bought a ticket to come along because I really liked a few DJ's going and when he found out I had bought a ticket and expected to come along he got really mad and said there was no room for me due to it being a camping event and his friend only having a 2 person tent and no room in the car and basically I couldn't come.. So I sold my ticket and didn't go. Then last night I called him and he sent me a text immediately after calling him telling me he's at a restaurant with a guy friend...in another city *one he goes to often and has friends in* He never mentioned going to this city before or anything and I saw him till late Sunday night. I was like what the heck..I had noticed he had been writing on a bands wall on facebook about buying tickets for their show which was in the city he travelled to last night. He said it was last minute and for work not the concert and he didn't tell me because he didn't want to deal with my grumpiness and had a bad work meeting prior to leaving? but didn't even give me the benefit of the doubt. Even if it was last minute he had time to go home and pack clothes etc and had time 3 hours on the highway to call me.. I feel like this is disrespectful and almost a mind game.I am not interested in being in a relationship where it feels like there's deceit and mind games and not being open. I told him this and he just ignored me the rest of the night. It frustrates me because he's lying/keeping things from me.. I don't think he's cheating at all he just likes doing stuff with guys and doing stuff he wants to do but I don't see the reason for his lying and not being open. I feel like he just wants to have his cake and eat it too. How can I trust him if he doesn't even tell his girlfriend when he's going to another city? Am I justified in being upset over this? And how can I communicate this is not okay? I feel like if i stay with him it's showing him he can disrespect me and basically do whatever he likes but at the same time I don't want to give up.
KathyM Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 I think he's cheating, to tell you the truth. Otherwise, he wouldn't be lieing about it. Even if you give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he goes with guy friends, the fact that he is telling you all these lies is reason enough to get rid of him. Find someone you can trust.
Author MissVegas Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 I don't think he's cheating. Definitely being disrespectful though
soulm8 Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Live your life. If he's meant to be around you... he'll make you more of a priority.
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