Miss Dove Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 My boyfriend and I have been living together for two years. We have a lot of fun together. However, he can be pretty tuff to, last week we had a fight and he said he wants to live alone and he is only living with me because of the money. He also said he can't give me the deposit back and he wants to keep living with me. So he never put an end to it. After the fight we had two great days together and now he went for three weeks on vacation with his friend. He wanted to go on vacation with me later this year. Now someone offered me now a room in town so I actually could move out before he comes back. I do love him but I do not want to be only put up with because of the money. He just called from the island but I did not pick up. Can someone give me advice on if I should stay here with him? Is it bad for me to put up with such sentences as he would rather live alone. He usually only talks about emotions and that he loves being with me when he is drunk. Does this relationship still have hope or would it be better that I just take off so he actually realizes what this relationship gives him. I don't know if I should leave? Any advice is greatly appreciated...
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 My boyfriend and I have been living together for two years. We have a lot of fun together. However, he can be pretty tuff to, last week we had a fight and he said he wants to live alone and he is only living with me because of the money. He also said he can't give me the deposit back and he wants to keep living with me. So he never put an end to it. After the fight we had two great days together and now he went for three weeks on vacation with his friend. He wanted to go on vacation with me later this year. Now someone offered me now a room in town so I actually could move out before he comes back. I do love him but I do not want to be only put up with because of the money. He just called from the island but I did not pick up. Can someone give me advice on if I should stay here with him? Is it bad for me to put up with such sentences as he would rather live alone. He usually only talks about emotions and that he loves being with me when he is drunk. Does this relationship still have hope or would it be better that I just take off so he actually realizes what this relationship gives him. I don't know if I should leave? Any advice is greatly appreciated... Depends on what your living situation is at the moment. If you and he are splitting a rental... you owe him some advanced notice for moving out. I personally would not stick with someone who consistently says things like that. Just take into consideration the things you say as well.
Author Miss Dove Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 so you saying if I should move out I can't just leave before he comes back. But also, if someone says hurtful things like I only live with you because of the money but than the next day at a party is totally proud of you again and shows you off. This is so confusing...
Yookie Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 The fact that he went on a three week vacation without you confirms that what he is saying about wanting to live alone is absolutely true. He's living the single life and is only using you as a trophy when needed and a roomate to help with the bills. It would probably be less drama if you move out now before he comes back.
iJester Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 I think you should move out before he gets back as well. You have to look out for yourself in this situation and I don't think you owe him any advanced notice. Just pack up and get out as soon as you can.
Author Miss Dove Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 The other place is ready in two weeks. Meanwhile I have to finish my master thesis till august. Which puts more pressure on the situation. So I'm actually glad he is on vacation at the moment so I have peace here. But if I leave now in two weeks before he is back I probably won't get the deposit back and I put it down for the entire apartment. Isn't there a chance that he comes back from vacation and he will value this bond? I mean, how is it possible that someone says mean things but than still does not want one to leave? Yeah maybe that all just means that I have been putting up with something which is just not showing full respect, only 70%. I'm just afraid of letting a relationship pass which maybe still has potential.
iJester Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 He already said he's not giving you the deposit back. Just move out and cut your losses. He clearly does not care about you. He even told you that he's only staying with you for monetary reasons. Idiot. Do what you want; I can't wait until next month when I get to say, I told you so.
Author Miss Dove Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 his friend paid for the whole trip since he does not have any extra at this point in time. Appreciate all your thoughts on this matter. When you in it is sometimes hard to make the best choices because of ones emotions. I know life is not black and white but I also know that most people only learn when they reach boundaries. But I also find it said that society and the relationships today are so short lived and that is probably why I'm usually holding on to long or through hard times. But now there is an opportunity for a great nice place only that I would have again left one more person in my life which is sad.
iJester Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 You still haven't realized it, but he has already left you and the relationship emotionally. You are just a vagina that doubles as an ATM to him.
Enchanted Girl Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 You still haven't realized it, but he has already left you and the relationship emotionally. You are just a vagina that doubles as an ATM to him. Agreed. I was with my ex for five years and clung to him, too, like this, but the reality is that he broke-up with me in his heart a year or two before he spoke the actual words. I agree that you should move all your stuff into the new place and move out before he returns and when he gets home, have your last bag of stuff packed and with you, sit him down, and explain that it's over.
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