DSM2709 Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Please excuse my mood as I vent about my 2011 summer.....it sucks!! Besides work, I have had nothing but bad luck with trying to meet anyone. I have been on the dating sites and it has been a horror show. I don't know if it's my profile, my pics or what but it is very frustrating. I have sent out e-mail after e-mail after e-mail and NO RESPONSE from anyone. Are women really this shallow? Sorry for the stereotype, but this is ridiculous. I am a decent guy with good looks (I think so), a good job, a car. a m'cycle and my own place. For some reason, I can land any dates. Not even a hello here and there. Weekends are particularly frustrating for me, it really really sucks. So that's my vent. I will keep plugging away, but it's really tough. Is anyone else out here in the same situation? Thanks
somedude81 Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Are women really this shallow?Yes, sorry. I'm pretty much having the same summer you are. Except in my case I'm in the friendzone with a girl that I'm completely crazy about, who lets me hang out with her every couple of weeks. I know she doesn't like me at all, but being with her is the only thing I actually look forward to. I feel like a druggie who knows the habit is slowly killing him and feels like and idiot for continuing to take the drugs. But still craves the next hit.
Author DSM2709 Posted July 8, 2011 Author Posted July 8, 2011 Holy cow, dude81 you sound just like me. I am having that same exact problem. I have this next door neighbor who is smoking hot, but is such a trainwreck. I enjoy every minute we are together, but she only hangs out with me when she has nothing else going on, which really sucks because I am a good guy. She dates these guys weeks at a time, and then moves on to someone else, it's a vicious cycle with her but she keeps me on the backburner as a "Friend". I hate it so much. She's a harley chick (Biker) and I am a biker too, but sport bikes..LOL. She's hanging out with this guy now who is old enough to be her father and he was both our instructor at the bike course we took together. He's got a harley and blah blah blah. She doesn't want kids, or a boyfriend for that matter. She just goes through guys like underwear...it sickens me. Here I am next door to her wishing she would come over and hang out with me instead of being with these other losers. I'm like wtf??
somedude81 Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 LOL, yeah really similar situations. Except my girl is the completely opposite, she has no interest in dating (or doing) any one at all (no not gay). Still the same result though, the girls don't want us.
Author DSM2709 Posted July 8, 2011 Author Posted July 8, 2011 Yeah that's strange, but I don't think women know what they want in the first place. I just don't get it.
Wacko Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 (edited) Sorry fellas... 2011 is kicking ass for me. But in 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010... I felt you. Been on dates with over two dozen women this year. Multiple dates with some, up to 5/6 with a few. Still no Miss Right, but this weekend holds promise. I'm not tall, not particularly handsome, athletic but not buff, don't have my own place (roommate), don't have a car (bicycle), motorcycle license but no bike. Probably my greatest advantage is a large pool of single women. Time to move. Also, I think once I finally embraced my 'inner weird' things opened up. Tell them what you did yesterday as an opener. Was yesterday boring? Go do something interesting. Not epic, just mildly interesting. Finding something interesting to do is good training for when you're dating someone unless you want to be that guy who stays at home all the time mired in boring BS. Don't play it safe. There are things that you're into that other people aren't. Say it. Once spoken, it divides the room. Religion, politics, drug use, sexuality. It's not a rejection, they simply aren't a good match for you. Not the real you. Maybe a match for the omg-me-so-horny you. I have a girl right now that won't sleep with me. Sucks! But I have a lover. Hot!, but she has a kid. Not sure about anything long-term with that. But it takes the edge off. I can relax. Miss GTWSWM (girl that won't sleep with me) probably isn't the right girl for me, but she's so fun to hang with. My lover is way hotter, why do I want to sleep with GTWSWM so much? Good luck! Take a hard look at how you live your life. Those books that all the girls seem to read? Read 'em. One of best dates I've had ended in an argument over how much of an autobiography was ghost-written. Which lead to future dates. I think I've read more books this year than in the past five combined. (2006 to 2010) All those years I wasn't dating... Edited July 8, 2011 by Wacko
ChessPieceFace Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Mine would be the "life of loneliness" and I've gotten quite used to it. So, cry me a river! Hard for anyone here to judge your profile unless it's linked to. Are all women shallow -- no, but most people are shallow to some extent. Especially online. Without seeing your profile I can't critique it, but when I make a profile I plan to make it "real", at least real with a positive attitude. Like, putting my real interests and being sincere. Otherwise, you're driving some people away with fakeness, and may attract other people who aren't compatible with you. What's the point of that?
Dusk1983 Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 I enjoy every minute we are together, but she only hangs out with me when she has nothing else going on, which really sucks because I am a good guy. I see this kind of thing all the time and, with respect, a) it's not your place to say 'I'm a good guy', that's for others to decide; and b) you can be the best guy in the world (in your own mind) and still fail miserably with women. You've let yourself become this girl's lapdog / male tampon. That, by itself, is enough for most girls to write you off as potential partner. If you have feeligns for a girl, only - ONLY - hang out with her IF she's displaying signs of interest. Otherwise you're just wasting your time, not to mention making yourself less attractive and, ultimately, more bitter towards women. I reckon half the bitter guys you meet on LS started resenting women after a similar situation. Don't become one of them. Kick this girl out of your life. You never know, when you're distant from her, and busy with your own stuff, she might even come knocking at some point iin the future. Women are like that.
FinOuch Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 I read somewhere that proper dating etiquette is to break up with someone in the spring. Perhaps that explains why this will be my summer of loneliness. =/ But I hear ya. This summer just straight up sucks. Not only am I still recovering from the Grass-Is-Greener breakup that popped out of the blue a couple months ago...but I've also overloaded myself with classes and work. And to handle all this I cut my hours, so my income is limited. I wouldn't have time and money to date even if I wanted to. Which I don't. What an absolute waste of a glorious summer. Yet one more reason to hate him I guess. FML. Here's hoping 2012 is much improved.
thatone Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 I read somewhere that proper dating etiquette is to break up with someone in the spring. Perhaps that explains why this will be my summer of loneliness. =/ you read that thing somewhere written by a woman, so she could quickly dig out her halter tops and find another man the same day. f*ck that, dump her when there's a foot of snow on the ground so you KNOW she has to spend a week or two alone .
FinOuch Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 f*ck that, dump her when there's a foot of snow on the ground so you KNOW she has to spend a week or two alone . If she deserved to be dumped, I might agree with it. But when you're bailing on a great relationship for a younger, more flirtatious twit...I would say that would make an *sshole an even bigger *sshole. =P
Author DSM2709 Posted July 10, 2011 Author Posted July 10, 2011 Thanks guys for the input. This neighbor of mine is a real mess, different guys every other it seems. I am putting my foot down this time and I am just going to do my own thing and leave her alone. No more texts, although since we are next door neighbors, we will have the usual encounter as we pass each other in the hallway or parking lot. The only problem I keep doing is I show my emotions. She knows it bothers me when she's with these other guys, but she doesn't care because she told me from the get go that this is what she does and who she is. I guess I am having a hard time excepting it. I don't know why it bothers me so much, we were never bf/gf, so why do I care? Anyways, I am moving on in a positive direction. Thanks again.
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