reggio Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Do you feel that your "in laws" should interfere in your marriage? My marriage ended as a result of my in laws interference. I had no chance to work with my wife on the issues we needed to resolve to better our marriage, consequently we had many unresolved issues that distanced me from her. I use to feel that no matter what I said or tried to do for our marriage, I was indirectly challenged by my in laws. It always seemed that my wife would always look for fault in me and excuses to say that I didn't love her. Instead, I use to try my best to talk to her about how I felt about our marriage. It never failed that the door would slam in my face in my many attempts to express my concerns to her about the fact that her family would only create negative thoughts and not allow us to work out our own problems. I use to ask to her, how can we work on our problems if you a working against me? I would tell that I always put her and our marriage before anything and anybody and that nothing else mattered. I went as far as having to compromise my own beliefs which only made me lose myself in the process. On a few occassions, I confronted my in laws about their interference and I expressed to them that they were not helping us. I mean, there is nothing wrong with talking to your own family but your own "dirty laundry" should stay within your own marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 sorry that happened to you. I don't know both sides of the story, but in-laws should have no authority over how you live your lives and shouldn't interfere, unless there is abuse or illegal activity. I hope that you can move on and get past this. My mother lives with my husband and I and that has at times, not been easy. I've seen her hold back on saying something to him, but sometimes she will say things to me that are "anti-husband" if you know what I mean, and sometimes its my husband who complains about my mother and I'm caught in the middle. These are the two people I love best in the world and I'm trying to make both of them happy. My mother, though, does not actively interfere. (although there have been some pretty nasty fights from things she has said!) If your wife wasn't strong enough to tell her parents to butt-out and put you first, or to work with you to compromise, then you are better off. No great solace for your pain, but in time you will feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 I have nothing to add, except that... damn, Hokey. What an amazing avatar. Totally blew my concentration. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 [font=courier new][/font][color=darkblue][/color] hey all i agree that inlaws shouldn't interfere but they do ... speaking from expierence they can cause alot of conflict with you and and s/o .. they have been known to split alot of marriages up if the husband and wives let them .. just try to stay strong when they interfere and don't let them get the best of you... Link to post Share on other sites
hope&pray Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 I have to agree with HOKEYs avatar kicken!!! I guess I am lucky because from what I heard ALL of my wife's exes were loosers so her family LOVES me and from what I get her Mom isn't to happy with her leaving me. But never give up. Maybe, someday, your spouse will realize how interfearing her family was and seak you out, eventually. Check this out also. http://rrr.kimcm.dk/forum/profile.php?mode=register Link to post Share on other sites
scared2Balone Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 If you're marriage was anything like mine, if the in-laws are against you it is pretty much a closed book. During my marriage it was a constant silent battle between my father-in-law and myself to get my husband to stay with either one of us. I feel like your partner chooses whose advice they take and it is your spouses choice to believe what your in-laws say. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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