Imajerk17 Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 (edited) You know what, I actually had a shred of sympathy for ES, before she posted this thread that is. I saw her as someone who has had severe trust issues but who was starting to own up to them. I lost whatever sympathy I had when it was pointed out to her how inconsistent she was--how his "mistakes" count against him, and hers do not against her (even though hers are much worse)--and she seems to refuse to own up to her attitude about it. My emotional reaction to ES is something like the emotional reaction you might feel towards a creep who is abusing a girl. It's the girl's fault for staying, but you would be rooting for the girl to break up with him and run. Well that is what I am rooting for her boyfriend to do now. Besides, ES is just plain as hell annoying! Wasn't she banned before multiple times anyway? Edited June 29, 2011 by Imajerk17
Ms. Joolie Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I have a bad feeling about this one. The friend that got involved, the texts of the past that were shared, the bringing up another huge deal (to her anyway) within days of the last deal just getting barely resolved.... shivers.
OliveOyl Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 ES, You've definitely hit some major speedbumps. I hope you and your BF are able to salvage this relationship. Don't have a lot more to say at this point. Except: This whole thread is a stellar example of one of the pitfalls of texting.
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Exactly. My instincts were spot on. And I was told on here that I was being crazy. Even my boyfriend denied that my instincts were right. This is now the second time I caught him in a lie. I am just pissed that I am repeatedly told to get counseling when really, I was just perceptively sensing something being off in this relationship. And it's really hard for me to believe that he didn't like me to the point of seriously considering breaking up 2 months ago and suddenly he is madly in love with me. Something just doesn't gel here. YAY! Great news! You were RIGHT! Your ex boyfriend is a slimeball, and a chronic liar. You certainly don't need counseling - you are ALWAYS right. In fact, as you already know, you are PERFECT. I am so happy that you are ready to get rid of this albatross of a guy. Way to dodge a bullet. You never need to examine yourself or your behavior, or your internal mechanisms. Why would you, when there are such a multitude of faults to find in others? Why, you barely even have to look I'm sure you'll be much happier single. BTW I decided to write him an e-mail just now asking him the questions I wanted to ask. I confessed all. I did it this way so that we could possibly work it out prior to the weekend and then still have a nice weekend together. HUH??? But, wait! Haven't you already determined through your own experience as well as completely abusing any trust the sleazy liar might have accidentally had in you (by snooping and colluding with his "friend" to further invade his () "privacy" that he's not suitable boyfriend material for you? Why beat a dead horse? Is it fun, in a warpled sort of way?
oaks Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 YAY! Great news! You were RIGHT! Your ex boyfriend is a slimeball, and a chronic liar. You certainly don't need counseling - you are ALWAYS right. In fact, as you already know, you are PERFECT. Ouch! I think I cut myself reading this.
vsmini Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 YAY! Great news! You were RIGHT! Your ex boyfriend is a slimeball, and a chronic liar. You certainly don't need counseling - you are ALWAYS right. In fact, as you already know, you are PERFECT. I am so happy that you are ready to get rid of this albatross of a guy. Way to dodge a bullet. You never need to examine yourself or your behavior, or your internal mechanisms. Why would you, when there are such a multitude of faults to find in others? Why, you barely even have to look I'm sure you'll be much happier single. HUH??? But, wait! Haven't you already determined through your own experience as well as completely abusing any trust the sleazy liar might have accidentally had in you (by snooping and colluding with his "friend" to further invade his () "privacy" that he's not suitable boyfriend material for you? Why beat a dead horse? Is it fun, in a warpled sort of way? EXACTLY. If I found out a guy lied to me twice and I was convinced he was a liar I wouldn't be sticking around "till the weekend" ES doesn't care about herself at all. No dignity or self-respect. I'm embarrassed for her. But I don't feel sorry for her.
P&R Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I do love him - I know that. He doesn't love me. Oh.. my god ES stop it, just stop it with this. Everything you've said about this man SHOWS me that he loves you. It's starting to look as if you're looking for any reason what so ever to sabatoge this relationship. You're afraid of opening up.
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Oh.. my god ES stop it, just stop it with this. Everything you've said about this man SHOWS me that he loves you. It's starting to look as if you're looking for any reason what so ever to sabatoge this relationship. You're afraid of opening up. She told us a bunch of lovey stuff when she wanted support for the relationship. She tells us a bunch of troublesome stuff when she wants support for vilifying the guy. The "relationship" is in the same boat. It's sunshine and rainbows when she wants us to cheerlead for it; it's horror and darkness when she wants that style of attention. For all intents and purposes, there IS no actual guy. He is a cypher; just a reflecting pool for ES to USE to try to see herself the way she wishes to see herself. Because, that's how she has a sense of self. As far as she (and therefore, we) are concerned, he is not even an actual three dimensional human being. Just a mirror. And the relationship is like that too. Like the myth of Narcissus. I am aware that I am being mean, and I am actually angry that this manipulative stranger on the Internet can push my buttons just as successfully as she can those of people in her real life. If, indeed, this is really happening in real life - the whole sudden emergence of texts validating her ESP is not ringing true, but how would I know. My reaction is the same either way, and it doesn't matter. I have a brother just like this, and he has practically destroyed my family, so I do have "issues" about the specific package of traits shown. This is not "tough love." It's not any kind of love. It's my personal, human reaction to blatant manipulation, emotional vampirism, self indulgence, absolute absence of accountability - all hot buttons for me personally. As I always say, though, ES - you could get therapy and end up able to be, and to have, a great friend and partner in a world of other multi-dimensional beings like you could be. I NEVER give up hope on peoples' amazing potential to grow and to change for the better. But, that requires a great deal of willingness, humility, sacrifice and work. Clubbing - restaurants - new fancy clothes - you can do without those and afford therapy; or just run up a credit card. Or take a second mortgage on your home. Heck, you are a professional with a PHD, right? You can pay this off, help your dad and still live the good life ... while rendering yourself emotionally functional at the same time. Or, just stay toxic. It would be best, though, if you do choose that, to try to give other human beings a wide berth.
vsmini Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 She told us a bunch of lovey stuff when she wanted support for the relationship. She tells us a bunch of troublesome stuff when she wants support for vilifying the guy. The "relationship" is in the same boat. It's sunshine and rainbows when she wants us to cheerlead for it; it's horror and darkness when she wants that style of attention. For all intents and purposes, there IS no actual guy. He is a cypher; just a reflecting pool for ES to USE to try to see herself the way she wishes to see herself. Because, that's how she has a sense of self. As far as she (and therefore, we) are concerned, he is not even an actual three dimensional human being. Just a mirror. And the relationship is like that too. Like the myth of Narcissus. I am aware that I am being mean, and I am actually angry that this manipulative stranger on the Internet can push my buttons just as successfully as she can those of people in her real life. If, indeed, this is really happening in real life - the whole sudden emergence of texts validating her ESP is not ringing true, but how would I know. My reaction is the same either way, and it doesn't matter. I have a brother just like this, and he has practically destroyed my family, so I do have "issues" about the specific package of traits shown. This is not "tough love." It's not any kind of love. It's my personal, human reaction to blatant manipulation, emotional vampirism, self indulgence, absolute absence of accountability - all hot buttons for me personally. As I always say, though, ES - you could get therapy and end up able to be, and to have, a great friend and partner in a world of other multi-dimensional beings like you could be. I NEVER give up hope on peoples' amazing potential to grow and to change for the better. But, that requires a great deal of willingness, humility, sacrifice and work. Clubbing - restaurants - new fancy clothes - you can do without those and afford therapy; or just run up a credit card. Or take a second mortgage on your home. Heck, you are a professional with a PHD, right? You can pay this off, help your dad and still live the good life ... while rendering yourself emotionally functional at the same time. Or, just stay toxic. It would be best, though, if you do choose that, to try to give other human beings a wide berth. Well said. I want to know how this girl was raised. I want to make sure my kids (one day) don't turn out like this. Issues like these are not naturally conjured. It's one thing to have issues but it's another to say farewell to all responsibility of self and just blame everyone else and remain a spoiled little child. I gather from the pictures I've seen she's over the age of 30 - she should be over this phase of her life.
Woggle Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 Simply reading this thread makes me feel exhausted so I can't imagine what it must be like for a man to be in this relationship.
Recommended Posts